Longing

By JadziaKathryn

Rating: G

Genres:

Keywords:

This story has been read by 564 people.
This story has been read 836 times.


Genre: Poetry, 5-word challenge
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: My response to Distracted’s challenge for: Hammer, Frankincense, Broom, Red, Throat.

Next words: Tomato, Puppy, Do (or another form of the verb), Time, Lean

To his left, a short tree stands straight
Pointing to the alien sky
Like a broom upside down, aiming
Toward the blood-red setting sun.

He wishes for his darling mate
With whom to share a piece of pie.
From his throat comes a sound naming
His angel, his beloved one.

He struggles with a limping gait,
Heart like a hammer’s beating cry.
He will return to her, claiming
His frankincense-loving adun.


Comments:

Ezinma88
Ah, Rigil. I resisted reading your fics for a long time because, well...I\'m not one for \'all-action, all the time\'. What a fool I have been, LOL! I\'m on my second-reading of your series....and I have to admit it\'s now one of my favourites. I am usually riveted by the battle-scenes (although in the later \'episodes\' you tend to pile the technobabble and acronyms on a little too thickly IMO - leave the trowl at home RK!!). There\'s always a delicious helping of TnT goodness in your fics - which is very much appreciated ;). However, for me, the strength of your writing comes in the strength of your characterizations. And,no, I\'m not just talking about Archer and Trip. I\'m delighted to see that the development of \'minor\' characters has been taken seriously. Take Travis Mayweather. On the TV show, he\'s a glorified button pusher, who delivers the odd stilted line and whips his shirt off for the ladies, in a feeble attempt to help the ratings.... In your world, I see first-hand how he got his reputation as a kick-ass pilot, and I care about his plight. He is no longer a plank of extremely brittle wood (and that is a mean feat, indeed). However, I do have a MAJOR bug-bear.... where is [i]Amaterasu[/i]? I\'ve been waiting for AGES!!! E88
Buurman
Very well done. I finally finished your entire series, and I must congratulate you on a commendable job. I like the way you write about the militaristic aspects of the show, as well as how you incorporate the screenplay format in your writings. Well done.
Emberchyld
Fantastic as always... even though you [b]did[/b] kill Hernandez. But you write Archer so well that I actually feel sorry for him!
Dinah
You do a superlative job of showing Trip's abilities as a captain. I love the rescue of the Horizon: everyone working together like a well-oiled machine, everyone calm and under control, and Trip -- showing both his stubborness and his humanity -- firmly in command. I like the relationship of trust you've established here between Archer and Trip. Archer never tried to take command. He knew Trip could handle things. Another great chapter in an outstanding story.
Rigil Kent
I don't recall exactly where it was, but I remember someone on Trek stating that there would always be a residual link following a meld. Given how powerful the Surak katra evidently is (since it somehow allowed Archer to defy biology while he was leaping tall buildings on Vulcan with Sidekick!Polly), it seemed logical (pardon the pun) to have the Father of Logic leave a slice of something in Archer's brain.
Distracted
Archer's still got Surak in his head, huh? Interesting take on it.
Distracted
I liked T'Pol's ambidextrous programming and the nerve of the lieutenant who replaced her in the command chair.
justTrip'n
!!!!! Vivid, thrilling . . . I'm back and reading. Hanging on for a wild ride.
Framework4
Well done. A bold and worthy death for Columbia and her Captain.
Rigil Kent
A tightbeam is basically a laser-based communications system. It's a point-to-point system instead of something like radio waves that move out in an omnidirectional manner. It's much more secure than the usual "comm system" of Trek as you have to pass between the two communicating ships to detect or intercept the communication. A relay grid would sort of be a system in which multiple ships could communicate using the laser system. And T'Pol's going to the auxiliary command station, the "battle bridge", if you will.
justTrip'n
I just read the comments. Yes, a nice speech: "Good hunting" See, it made an impression!
justTrip'n
OK, I ALOMOST followed that whole thing. What is a tightbeam relay grid? And where is T\'Pol going? Your Romulans are very believable and interesting. Whole thing very believable.
justTrip'n
Comments on teaser and Part I: It's perfect! Very tense. Reading on . . . .
Rigil Kent
Well, I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed with the next couple of acts since this is a fleet action and that means lots of ships. Ah well. Can't win 'em all.
Distracted
I had trouble getting through this chapter. Too much tech. Too many ships. Not enough personal interaction. Sorry, but it's not my thing. I'll be awaiting more story, though.
Rigil Kent
Let me look into it, [b]BnB[/b]. I have the capability to do it, I think... [b]Dis,[/b] have I written Archer unfavorably in the past? I've been trying to focus on how I think he [i]should[/i] have been on the show and have tried to keep my opinion of his canon character separate and distinct. Glad you liked the speech ... I used Eisenhower's D-Day speech as a template...
blackn'blue
Yes. I agree. I am glad you posting it here also. Have you considered putting up a PDF version in book format for folks to download and print?
Distracted
I like your favorable treatment of Archer here, Rigil. Considering your well-known opinion of the character, you've done an excellent job. A very inspiring yet gazelle-less speech, and he gets to drive. Will wonders never cease?
Dinah
Hooray! :D It's about time this story showed up here. It's truly one of the great one. Nobody does the Romulan War like you, Rigil.

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