Chapter 1

Author's Notes

This is the consequence of the challenge which, because of Panyasan, swooped down on my head

I think it's useful I report here what Panyasan said when she challenged me.

QUOTE:

Remember that horrible episode "A Night in Sickbay" in season two in which Archer is acting like a teenager staring at T'Pol? [I wasn't a TnT when I watched that episode, but I vividly remember thinking "Sexual tension between Archer and T'Pol, what tension? That really came out of nowhere."]

Well, there is more to this episode then meets the eye. There is a nice scene in the gym where T'Pol puts Archer in his place, she is constantly saying in one other scene "that Commander Tucker needs his Dilithium for the engines" (the thing Enterprise needs to keep on moving), she brings Archer food (did Trip inspire her to bring it?) and most of all when Archer finally makes his excuses T'Pol and Trip exchange a look. They both seemed to roll their eyes and thinking "finally our plan worked and we forced the captain to make his excuses". It's a long look and you really get the feeling there was more going on behind the scenes between Trip and T'Pol. It really makes all the suggestions for "something" between Archer and T'Pol very hollow.

It looks like our favorite duo had team up to make the sleep deprived and childlike acting captain acting as sort of captain.

I like you, Asso, to write a fic with four POV: Archer, Trip, T'Pol and Phlox. No character bashing, I know it's very tempting, especially when it comes to Archer and I like you to add your great sense of humour. Trip and T'Pol team up, you explain why

a. Archer is so sleep deprived he is acting like an idiot and

b. why Phlox got his crazy idea that they was something between Archer and T'Pol. Also you explain

c. why when Archer is uttering his crazy idea about sexual tension, T'Pol seems to agree and then gently says "No way we are going to have a relationship of any kind, except professionally". Did Trip gave her a couple of points how to deal with the situation?

Okay, Panyasan, here is what ensued from your request. I hope it can be satisfactory.

 

---

 

There are four further things I have to say:

First.

HIS IS NOT AN AU. As far as it can be felt in this way, it is not. And we are only at the beginning.

  

Second.

Remember: no one can be harsher toward a Doctor than another Doctor. - 'twisted'

  

Third.

Puck... what has it got to do with this story? Well, I said we are at the beginning.

Fourth.

Thank you, Dinah, once more. For your kindness, your agreeableness  and your cleverness.

 

---

I am that merry wanderer of the night.

Puck

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Act 2, Scene 1

 

---

 

 

Finally all has been done. It's over, thankfully.

My sickbay is again only for me and for my little menagerie. A menagerie, only that. A USEFUL menagerie, certainly not inclusive of any notion of pets.

Really, we Denobulans can't be in the wrong for having no pets, because if pets are able to reduce a man to act the way the Captain acted...

I sigh, sitting heavily on my chair.

Oh, sure. And me? How wisely I acted and thought, too. Really wisely.

Never again! I... I only hope the Captain won't ever blurt out anything to T'Pol about my... wise medical suggestions as to why he was so uptight and irrational and... and, above all, the foolish idea I took from my brain and that I sneakily put flashing in HIS brain that maybe it would be a good thing if he clearly showed his... problem to... to the object of his desire.

Indeed, because of that, because of his sexual attraction toward the Sub-Commander, there's no doubt, but... but, well! There are things which should best remain... undisclosed!

And then I was perfectly aware that... the object of the Sub-Commander's desire was... one other! I knew that, for the First Doctor's sake! Even if she obviously hasn't ever been open about this matter, the bickering between her and the Commander was very meaningful to my eyes - and not only to mine. There were a mess of other small and big signs, but... but who could have ever thought that things had proceeded to such a point?

I carefully brought my hand to my eye and fingered it cautiously.

No! Never again!

---

Finally all has been done. It's over, thankfully.

I can stay in my room alone with my dear Porthos, safe and in good health, thank goodness. But if I had to say that I was finally able to sleep quietly, I would be lying.

Damn Doctor! To hell with you and your damn subtle, wise medical suggestions!

Attracted to T'Pol? Me? SURELY, DAMN IT! But there are things which it's better if they remain undisclosed, to everyone, even to us.

Attracted to T'Pol. Me. Yeah, and now I know that for sure, and I know also that I don't have a minimal chance. I destroyed any possibility.

Thanks, my dear Doctor, for having astutely pushed me to face my hidden desires! Thank you, my skillful Doctor!

Ah sure! You are a real and great friend, my multi-graduated-I-know-it-all physician! Sure!  And I have to be very grateful to you for having so shrewdly and so thinly and stubbornly forced me to try to reveal myself to T'Pol, obliquely, of course.  And what was the great result of this?  I had to listen as she so graciously made me understand that that way is barred for me in regard to her. With that damned Vulcan aplomb so typical of her, she also suggested to me that I was acting sagely by acknowledging that it is better that there is nothing between her and me! Damn eely woman! Damn meddler of a doctor!

Anyway, at least, I finished having to apologize! To those damned Aliens, to T'Pol and even to the doctor, for Pete's sake!

And I have my little companion with me.

Even if I would prefer to have... someone else with me.

But this is an unfeasible dream for me. I'm persuaded that that is attainable for only one man, but, in any case, it's a pipe dream for whichever male which doesn't be Vulcan. Surely no Human male can nurture such a dream.

---

Finally all has been done. It's over, thankfully.

Finally we can again resume our habits.

I look around with prudent caution. No one is in sight. All is quiet.

I discreetly push the doorbell, ringing the usual signal.

The door opens immediately and I smile. It's clear that she was as anxious as me for this moment.

I look at her in penumbra. How damn beautiful she is, for God's sake!

With her usual stern expression on her visage, she nods slightly, to invite me to come in and she stands aside a little to give me access, but not too much. No, not too much, so I can't help but rub against her and against all her... softness.

I turn around and look at her while she attentively closes the door.  With her back toward it, she fixes her eyes on mine.

She watches me for some instants, and then... her robe slips down from her shoulders and falls on the floor, and...

Boys! Can you believe that I'm the man who is able to feel the warmth of her naked body against mine, the sweetness of her arms around my neck, the mild and passionate touch of her fragrant lips on my mouth? 

---

Finally all has been done. It's over, thankfully.

Finally I can again... receive him.

The attention I had to pay to the Captain in regard to his stupid behaviour almost compelled me to lose my control.

And... for Surak's sake!... and his thoughts about me! Really, I have to thank my Vulcan training. I have been able to speak so politely to him and to repress my desire to swipe him with a sonorous slap in the face. Pretending to apologize, he was treacherously and underhandedly trying to bait me!

Me! His woman! The woman of such an idiotically stubborn and proud man! Friendship, sure, and respect - affection too - even if it has been very hard lately to keep that sort of proclivity toward him, considering his deplorable and childlike behaviour. But... how says my Trip? Me! Being the... the alien toy-girl of the great Captain! May Surak help me, I have a far better man in my hands!

Stubborn, that's undeniable. And proud, also, but in a fair way. And smart, and open-minded, and ardent, and sweet, and handsome, and...

In short, the man just for me.

And the Doctor... but how was he capable of acting the way he did? He is a clever and attentive man. How is it possible that he didn't realize that he was pushing the Captain down a dangerous road? That his will to aid the Captain would be a source of embarrassment for me and for the Captain, too. That he can't treat people like they were guinea-pigs. That he can't judge other races, in the matter of sexual behaviour, from his peculiar Denobulan perspective. That there are circumstances to which it's better for even a Doctor to close his eyes. D... damn meddler of a Doctor!

Oh, but I'm sure that this time he has learned! That's for sure. I can't help but smile to myself. Certainly. My Trip personally took care of this particular exigency, and I'm persuaded that the Doctor will be ATTENTIVE when going about his business from now on.  

I know this kind of satisfaction is all but Vulcan, but I am unable to fight against it. And honestly, it's the cause of a great deal of contentment. 

I sigh. That, too, is un-Vulcan-like, I know, but I can't help but do it. What is my Commander waiting for?  When will he arrive?

A sound shakes me. The doorbell. THE SIGNAL! IT'S HIM!

I leap up from the floor where I was uselessly attempting to meditate so as to keep under control my anxiety to have, at last, my Trip again between my arms.

In a quick rush I reach the door and open it. I try to regain some trace of composure and show my usual stern face.

That's... that's very difficult, when I see his beautiful smile!

I nod slightly in an attempt to appear normal, calling upon him to come in with this gesture, and I stand aside to permit him to pass. But...I don't stand aside too much, because...

Oh! Well! It's... it's delicious... and... and exciting... to feel him rub against me!

Now he has turned around and is watching me with those fascinating blue eyes of his.

For crying out loud, what am I waiting for? To hell with my Vulcan composure!

And to hell also with my Vulcan distaste for these damned colloquialisms he has been capable of shoving deep down into my brain!

I let my robe slip down from my shoulders, displaying myself buck-naked to him.  And right after, without letting him have the time to chase away from his face that marvellous expression of surprise and delight and admiration, I throw myself on him and tightly encircle his neck with my arms.

And I print out my mouth on his mouth.

I kiss him.

Closed eyes.

Sweetly and passionately.

Holding him tightly to me.

My dear Captain... THIS... is my man!

---

I stand up slowly and go toward the mirror.

I regard my image on its surface.

My eye looks very bad. The subcutaneous haemorrhage made the socket almost black and it appears swollen and oedematous. The eyelids are practically closed. And, in spite of all the medicaments I used, it hurts like hell.

But I deserved that. Oh sure, for the blood of the Great Healer! Damn my presumption! Indeed! Eh... but I am the wise and all-knowing doctor, whose steady confidence and knowledge allow him to always find the right road. Right? I know all. ALL! Sure! Except that Humans - and Vulcans - are NOT Denobulans, that their sexual behaviours are different from those of my race, that sex is for them something private and, above all, that sex can't go without a real bond for Humans and especially for Vulcans.

I know all. Except that it's better to think before I act.

But it's stronger than me. It's my duty to try to understand and to push people to face their demons, if that is useful for them, because I'm a doctor, of course. And it's my duty to care about the crew's health.

I carefully caress my bluish and aching eye.

But, maybe, I should take care of MY own health sometimes.

And once again, how could I have thought that the affair which was rolling deep down between the Commander and the Sub-Commander had reached such a high level? To such an extent that he wanted to retaliate, to take his revenge on the man - ME! - who pushed the Captain to make more or less explicit sexual advances to the woman he  - the Commander - holds as his own?

And it's certain that, as far as he can be presumptuous - and he isn't - and sure of his manly charm, he wouldn't ever have done what he did without a good reason, if he didn't feel himself in the right to do it. In other words, if T'Pol doesn't really belong to him. Vulcan sexual behaviour leads the lovers to be so possessive. And vengeful.

I continue to observe my eyes and to unravel the thread of my thoughts.

It's obvious that the Captain spilt the beans, as the Commander would say, in regard to what happened between me and him in the matter of my attempt to bring to light his hidden obsession about T'Pol, maybe in front of a glass of whiskey, in the name of their multi-year friendship. But surely the Commander didn't have to be glad of what I did, surely not. And... and I can't swear that T'Pol, even with all her secretiveness, didn't confess to her... yes, her man... something which perhaps not even I know, something which happened between her and the Captain. I can't take that for certain, but... well, there have been some signals from her that did speak volumes as to that. So, in the final analysis, that's equally obvious from what I know, and from what occurred subsequently. The Commander, unwilling to take vengeance on the Captain, owing to their multi-year friendship, and aware that the engine of the whole story had been me, decided to give me a lesson.

I don't think he was in the wrong, but frankly he could have chosen another way! A little more... gentle. And less... painful. And, in addition... damn sly fox of a man!... no one can think that it wasn't an accident!

But I'm not mistaken. No, this time I'm not mistaken.

That expression on his face, even in the middle of his worried apologies and of his hurrying in to help and, even in the midst of the shock that hit me and from behind the tears of pain which veiled my look, was much too clear.

And I scrutinize my eye even more, and I suspire in quandary, exactly like the Commander's expression. That hint of a smile which appeared on T'Pol's face didn't escape me.

---

"Hon?"

"Trip?"

God! I don't think I will ever be accustomed to the sound of my nickname on her lips. It is easier to call her "Hon" and "Darlin" and "Baby" and whatever other appellative, than not getting melted under the intimacy that it gives me listening to her while she murmurs, in love, my soubriquet. T'hai'la, Ashayam, Ashal-veh. All these are splendid words; they are the secret love words she calls me in her language. And I know that only a Vulcan female in love is willing to use these words and only with her chosen one, with the man she is enamored of. But the warmth she gives me when she calls me "Trip" is beyond even that. I understood from the beginning what such a fact meant because all people are aware that Vulcans are very formal, and they don't like to address anyone but with his proper name. Nevertheless, not too long after we met, I heard my nickname on her lips. She addressed me in this way because... because... Oh men!... because, if I knew that she was the woman for me just in the first day, just when she refused to shake my hand... well then, she, too, understood that, as she confessed to me afterwards.

Our love was inevitable. Inevitably fated to be and - I sigh, slightly - Inevitably fated to be hidden. But a few months, not more, after I saw her the first time, she called me Trip, and I... called her Hon. And I picked the most precious flower. I was... I am... the first and only man of her life! She loves me, and I love her infinitely more than how much any other man can love his woman. May this love of ours be secret, damnit! But this secret love is the most golden treasure which exists! How many moments of intimacy, of sweet and ardent love, we have shared. How many moments we will share yet. But... this name... on her lips... will always be the mild brand of her love for me, someway more intimate that our intimacy itself.

As now, while we lie together naked under the sheet on her bed, clinging to each other, my arm around her and her head on my chest, after we gave ourselves to one another.

I call her again, only for the pleasure to hear my T'Pol respond to me once more with my nickname.

"Hon?"

She stirs and snuggles up to me. I know she knows. Nothing can escape my smart love.  She repeats sweetly and purposely, "Trip?"

I look at the ceiling, trying to find the right words.

She perceives my discomfort and raises her head, leaning on my chest with her forearms. She looks at me with inquiring eyes and quizzically calls again, "Trip?"

I lower my eyes to her face. God-almighty! Is there anything more lovely?

I smile, between repressed discomfort and inescapable amusement. Oh yeah, because definitely it has been... kind of funny. And after all, am I or am I not the unpredictable and impulsive man that I am? All the world knows that, and then... such things can happen, that's a matter of fact. And...I don't feel too remorseful, I have to say. Could the Vulcan influence of my T'Pol have anything to do with all that? Vulcans can be so possessive and vindictive in regard to their love affairs!

"What is the problem, Ashayam?"

"Hon, how will Phlox be? I mean, he will recover swiftly, won't he?"

"Trip, he is a Doctor, a good Doctor as far as I know." Am I mistaking, or does her voice seem to resound a little harshly? "It's plausible he will be able to cure himself, most likely better than he is sometimes able to treat other people."

Yes, indubitably, her voice is slightly harsh.

"Sure, Hon, but the punch was pretty hard. I... don't think I am too weak."

She places his head again on my chest and begins to gently caress the muscles of my arm with her fingertips, which inevitably makes me quiver with delicious pleasure.  "No, you are not, Ashayam."

Well, I don't think I can be in the wrong, if I feel myself inflating with pride.

"So, Darlin', maybe..."

"Trip..." Damn, how the hell can I try to reason lucidly while she sweetens any word with a soft kiss on the skin of my chest? "It...*kiss*... was ... *kiss*...an accident. *kiss*... You... *kiss*... don't have... *kiss*... to rebuke yourself... *kiss*... in any way. *double kiss*... It was... *kiss, kiss, kiss*... a combination... *kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss*... of unlucky circumstances."

This is her usual way. When I start to become a little too worried, she knows very well how to smooth over my annoyance.

I seize her face and hold it firmly. It's impossible for me to be able to think if she goes on with her manoeuvres.

"Hon, I..."

"Trip." She raises her head again and looks at me with the most innocent face. "You must think logically..." An amused glisten shines in her eyes.  "... if you are able to do it. If we have to follow your course of thought, I, too, should feel at fault. If I hadn't stumbled, if I hadn't fallen against the wall where there was the button that controls the punch ball's fastening, if I hadn't unintentionally pressed that button, making the punch ball fall to the ground just when..."

"Just when I was throwing my punch."

"Yes, and..."

"And if Phlox wasn't exactly behind the punch ball just when it fell down..."

"... trying to understand why you seemed to be angry with him."

"Yes, and if he wasn't just on the trajectory of my punch..."

"... when the unlucky circumstances occurred, which gave a clear path for your punch toward his face... "

"I tried to stop, Darlin'. I swear. I tried with all my strength, but it was too late."

"I have no doubt, my Ashayam."

"It was really horrible to feel the tremendous impact of my punch on his face."

"I would say... on his eye."

"Oh dear! Yes! Fortunately, Denobulans have a tough hide!"

"Fortunately."

"Because, otherwise, I wouldn't have simply caused to him to have a black eye."

"Indeed."

"Poor Phlox!"

"Poor Phlox."

"A victim of such an unlucky combination of circumstances."

"Just so."

"Darlin'?"

"Trip?"

"For an innocent observer, this could have almost looked like it was ... planned."

"You mean?"

"Well! Everyone knows what kind of close-knit team you and I are."

"Actually, we work very well together."

"In all respects."

"Like we have done during these days, joining our forces to push the Captain to act a little more wisely."

"Well, I merely gave you some suggestions about how you should have behaved in regard to him, so as to handle his childlike conduct. I know how Humans can be stupid when they think other people are bullying them."

"Our Captain seems to be very seasoned in this sort of behaviour."

"Well, Hon. You must understand. He doesn't trust other species very much. You know, his father and Vulcans..."

"Not even you liked Vulcans, but you learned to be more open in regard to them and also to people of other species."

I can't help but smile with delight and also with amusement. "Well, my beautiful Alien Sub-Commander! But you have to remember that a very peculiar petite Vulcan female taught me, as you said ... to work very well together with her."

The way she is able to be naïve and contemporaneously collected will always amaze me, but this time the light green colour which suffuses her cheeks and her ear tips reveals perfectly that I hit the mark. My smile beams and I fondly caress her flushed cheek.

I speak softly. "On the other hand, Hon, we have been capable of being a close-knit team in a lot of other times."

She stares at me warmly. "And in lots of different circumstances, Ashayam."

"Yeah, T'Pol. And..." I smile again, a little mischievously. "...not rarely in... a combination of unlucky circumstances."

My T'Pol, seriously and placidly regains her position on my chest. I feel she needs a little bit of reassurance from me, and I know how and what I have to do.

I start to stroke gently the marvellous pointed tips of her ears. "Well, Hon, there have also been lots of... pleasant circumstances, and I'm persuaded that there will be many more of these pleasant circumstances."

She closes her eyes, basking in my touch and in my words, and replies to me softly and, I'm sure, perceptibly amused.

"Yes, we are a very close-knit team."

---

Time to sleep, black eye or not.

The Kreetassans and their planet are getting farther and farther away from us and, somehow, this is a relief. It's as if all the odd things which happened lately are drifting away from us along with them.

Certainly the behaviour of our Captain was very strange or rather, very weird. I can understand pride. I can understand everything, but that sort of foolish conduct...

On the other hand, not even Commander Tucker and, even more, Sub-Commander T'Pol sounded totally themselves, if what I suspect about my... accident is true.

I don't know if that world and its inhabitants have anything to do with all these oddities, but certainly the idea that something... deviating...  was present on that planet could make sense.

I sigh, observing my eye one last time.

To tell really the truth, I would indeed like to think that something external, independent of me, was able to explain my own behaviour, but any regret is futile. I did what I did and now, rightly or wrongly, I am suffering the consequences of my idiotic actions.

Well! Or maybe my suspicions are only the consequences of something really strange which is connected with that damn planet. Maybe. Oh, for my sake! This would be very nice! How I would like to explain in this way the goofiness of my deportment.

A doctor should never insist on something which has no value and which has no aim, except to prove his own ability. And even supposing that I wasn't deceiving myself about the Captain's thoughts in regard to T'Pol... why did I behave like I did? For the Captain's health? To push him to face himself? Again... why? To compel him to behave more as a true Captain should do than as an irresponsible child? Or to pander to him and... and to my ego as a doctor? I don't understand myself. Perhaps it would be better if I ceased to read useless and ponderous medical treatises about alien psychology, attempting to put them into my daily practice. Probably I would be a better teacher that those who wrote such pompous and ignorant works.

Oh, enough now. Go to bed, skillful and clever doctor.

I move toward my personal medicine cabinet. I take a pain-killing hypospray and inject it to me.

This is very strong and will surely be of help.

Now I hope I will be able to sleep.

Mh... maybe there might be another thing which could help me sleep.

Apropos of pompous and ignorant works... I look at my workstation, at the computer.

Mh, yes, I think this could give me relief, in some degree.

I reach my workstation and sit down in front of my computer.

"Computer, personal message. From Doctor Phlox to Professor Sotutto, Medicine Academy, Central City, Denobula.

Start message.

Distinguished Professor Sotutto, in regard to that treatise you wrote, pertaining to the right behavioural pattern to follow in professional conduct toward alien cultures, specifically in the matter of psychotherapy and the relation between repressed sexual desires and behavioural deviance... do you remember? That treatise where you asserted that the doctor's duty is, always, to try to bring to light these repressed impulses in order to modify the wrong behaviours. You know, that treatise where you show how one has to act so as to reach these outcomes, irrespective of the circumstances, and where you outline the way one has to act with many races, with Humans and Vulcans in particular. You corroborated your assertions with such a quantity of documentary material. You did a really great job. I was sure that, using your teachings, I would be capable of going down the best road.

You, Distinguished Professor, sent me the file containing your exquisite and erudite treatise when my mission on Enterprise began, asserting that it would be extremely useful to me if ever I found myself in the situation of an alien Doctor on a vessel riddled with Humans whose sexual impulses - these are your words - are so important in regard to their actions. And even more so with a Vulcan female - F-e-m-a-l-e, you underlined that - who is anything but bad-looking, according to Human standards. Given your position as the most important and the most highly regarded of Academicians, I thought that your advice in this unique and unpredictable situation would be very helpful to me."

I take a deep breath. I need to collect my thoughts.

"Computer, pause."

The most important and the most highly regarded of Academicians... Exactly that. Do I have to continue? Really do I have to...?"

Almost inadvertently my hand goes to my hurting eye.

If I have to continue? Of course, I have to do it! OF COURSE, Damn smart aleck of an important and highly regarded Academician!

"Computer! Start again.

"Distinguished Professor, I had the opportunity, most recently, to put in practice your teachings about the peculiar matter your treatise deals with, and so I was able to form an opinion. I thought It would be advantageous and beneficial for me to acquaint you with my personal and attentively pondered judgement in regard to your treatise, because you need to be aware of its real value and of its possible limits, considering that many other doctors might use it in circumstances perhaps similar to those I've had to face.

Extremely Distinguished Professor, it's my unquestionable and irrefutable opinion that, if your treatise was printed on paper like it was in the past, and if the paper was sufficiently fine, and if better and more sophisticated devices weren't already in use in the lavatories, the most proper use for your work wouldn't have been the reading.

Please, may you receive my most dutiful greetings.

Your devoted admirer, Doctor Phlox

Computer, end message."

Ahhhhh... Done!

I look at the blank screen in satisfaction.

Done.

Now, black eye or not, I'm persuaded that I can sleep.

Good night, Professor Sotutto.

---