The Whine thread.

[TPoptarts]

FINALLY got my meds today. 750mg BIG pills

[enterprikayak]

wtf.

wtf.

wtf.

a couple of weeks ago, our good friends' wedding was cancelled cause her brother's best friend was shot to death by a disgruntled employee at a company xmas party.

Then 3 days ago, on Tuesday, my little sister (15) calls to tell me that not only had her dog suddenly just died of a heart defect that day, but our 53 yr old uncle did too...of clogged arteries.

Both on the same day.

THEN yesterday, my other sister calls me in tears because her 20 yr old male roommate had got into a fight with a 17 yr old guy over a girlfriend and the guy STABBED her roommate in the BACK with a BUTCHER knife and he died.

Pardon me, but what the FRUCK is going on in the world lately?

[Alelou]

Yeah, WTF? Be careful!

[JadziaKathryn]

Oh. My. Word.

That is just so sad!

[Aquarius]

WTF indeed!! Hang in there!

[TPoptarts]

That's horrible I'm sorry EK

[TPoptarts]

Whine: there's this lady here with 2 kids ages 5 and 7, they're from England here for like a family vacation and they're just SO FRELLING OBNOXIOUS. The kids are so rude they act like they own everything. And the mother is so frelling irresponsible Jungle Boy and I named her "Broken Rubber" because she doesn't really act like a person who actually wanted to have kids, I mean like she leaves them here all alone all day and goes to do drugs, and to the beach etc just having fun by herself and everyone else is supposed to be her frelling nanny. The little kids go out in the street unsupervised and just wander into bars and stuff. Someone saw the 5 year old in a bar and almost called child services. And the kids DON'T FLUSH THE FRELLING TOILET. I asked their mother to tell them to flush the toilet and she was like sure no problem, what the frell ever stupid bitch they keep doing that.

When the kids don't go to bars or to the restroom they spend the whole day hogging the TV room, like seriously that's your idea of a "vacation", take your kids to watch TV in another country?? Like if they could afford plane tickets I'm sure they have a TV at home, and since the mother doesn't actually take care of her kids or spend time with them it would probably be like way cheaper to come by herself and leave them like with a parent/sibling/friend/whatever, or in the very likely event she's got no one due to her obnoxiousness it would still be cheaper to hire a nanny to take care of them I don't know it's just sickening the way they all behave like they're better than everyone and they own everything, and they're just a rude disgusting obnoxious family. I can't stand them. And FLUSH THE FRELLING TOILET you disgusting morons!!

And since they made a mess in the bathroom they had to put the towels on the floor, and then I had to go to the laundry room to get fresh towels because like obviously no one else bothered to replace them, and apparently one of the washing machines leaked and the whole floor was wet and now my socks are all wet!! Like seriously people there's a pile of towels right next to the washers, would it kill you to put a towel on the floor to dry the mess?? Seriously what the frell is wrong with people.

And my pinky toe has been hurting since yesterday for some reason.

AND the inside of my elbow where they put the IV last week is STILL red and also itchy and it makes me dizzy every time I look at it or touch it.

[TPoptarts]

Another whine: Jungle Boy is at it again gets loaded then comes knocking on my door asking me to come "talk to him" AKA feel sorry for him. Sorry no can do. Can't feel sorry for him. I mean like I've been trying to help him but he won't let me and he's a grown man I can't force him to do anything, no one can force anything on him. As much as he needs help that part is still HIS responsibility. And like also other people have tried to help him like people from his AA club etc, but he keeps rejecting everything. And he keeps asking me to "help him" but apparently he doesn't really want any help just pity, and I don't do that. I've had it with his circle of "I'm so miserable, I got a drink because I'm miserable, now it's making me even more miserable", and then it's all on me and I'm like totally drained and exhausted I can't do this anymore. Wanna stop feeling miserable? Break the circle for crying out loud, I mean it's not like there's any forces keeping this circle going but his own self. I'll help but you gotta frelling let me!!

And then he keeps going like "nobody loves me, nobody's gonna help me" etc, and I told him very firmly that people DO wanna help him but he keeps shutting them out, and then he calls his sponsors or other people from his AA meeting and yells at them and cusses them out when they say the very same stuff I keep telling him, that he needs help etc I mean like they just wanna help and THAT'S the way he treats them after repeatedly asking for help?? So like what are you whining about nobody liking you. That's NO way to get either friends or sympathy. Sorry it just ain't.

And like I've tried everything I could to help him, but then every time he comes up with stupid excuses that make absolutely no sense, like for example he goes like "I don't wanna go to a rehab place because I don't wanna be a burden on anyone, they'd probably tell me to get lost" etc etc, like dude that's their job to help people like you, you're supposed to go there in order to STOP being a burden. And like HELLO so it's better to be a burden on me??

And then when I called a rehab place for him and they told me to bring him over the next morning. Like even though I was sick and had to get up really early on a very cold day to get him there in buses. But I'd still do it because I wanna help. But like then when I talked to him he was like "I need help, I should go to rehab please help me" etc as usual, then I told him about the place I called and that I could go with him the next day, then he goes like "no it's too early I don't wanna wake up too early", so I was like "okay then we can take a cab" then he starts thinking and goes like "uhhh... but I don't know that place, they probably just wanna take my money and not do anything". Like dude if you don't know the place how do you know they're just after your money?? He only knows the "Promises" rehab place because that's where all the celebs go. But there's plenty others he's never heard of which provide the same help and treatments for people other than Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears.

So THEN since he's locked on Promises he asks me to talk to Promises for him, that it's the only place he'd agree to go. Like because he's only used to the most upscale stuff. So I say okay, I mean like if he wanna spend $50,000 that's his own choice he can afford it, just go get help already. So I called them and they said that they first have to schedule a phone interview with him and that he has to call them himself to do that. I told him. He didn't call. Instead he went and got loaded. Then came crying to me as usual.

And like he keeps going about how he wants help, and how people from AA told him about free programs they know, but he doesn't DO anything. Then he keeps coming to me telling me how nobody loves him and he wanna jump out the window etc to try to make me feel sorry for him.

I think I was a little to harsh with him today. But seriously this is stressing me out and I can't do this anymore. I told him I'm his friend but nothing he's gonna do or say can make me feel sorry for him because he's the one doing it to himself, like he's got choices all over but he keeps making the wrong ones and rejects help, and no one can force him in the right direction because he's not a child and it's no one's job to take care of him. I think he actually got offended when I said I didn't feel sorry for him. And that I don't want him to talk about killing himself anymore because I'm really sick of hearing about it, I don't need the extra stress and basically dumping this "responsibility" on me especially since he only talks like that for attention and pity. And he keeps crying like "what am I supposed to do", and I'm like "you know exactly what you're supposed to do, GET HELP" then he keeps going as if I didn't already answer his question. And when he started with the "I wanna jump out the window" again I just said that's it NOW I'm closing the door, then he goes like no wait please no I won't do it etc etc. Like I already told him trying to make me feel sorry for him will neither help him nor get him the pity and sympathy he wants.

Well yeah I was kinda harsh on him today. I feel kinda bad because he's my friend and you know what they say about "a friend in need", thing is he's not really being a friend in "need", he's being a friend in "want". I'd happily help him with what he NEEDS, but he just won't let me and I can't force him, if he won't do his part of the responsibility it's out of my hands. And also all the frelling stress and his selfish behavior hurt me. I passed out last week for crying out loud. And I'm sure it wasn't solely the fault of the UTI I had that before, and I wasn't even in any kinda pain or anything (duh if it hurt or burn or whatever I'd go see a doctor). I passed out because in addition to being sick and kinda hungry (though it's not the first time I didn't eat much, there's been times I didn't eat ANYTHING for like a couple days and nothing happened) I was also stressed out and exhausted and sleep deprived because he woke me up every night. And I ended up with a needle in my arm. And NO ONE makes me get a needle and gets away with it.

[Buurman]

{Long rant about Jungle Boy}

Actually, no. You were not too harsh on him. I don't know the exact specifications of the situation but there's two things you gotta keep in mind:

a) You have your own life and own self to take care of - that takes precedence

b) You need to set limits. That is really important, addicted people are like children in that, they *need* limits. Setting limits (and sticking with them!) is not only important to keep some part of you to yourself/for yourself but also because what addicted people need to quit is discipline, and you giving in to them is *NOT* teaching discipline but laziness and whininess.

That's all ^^ Go on now, nothing to see here, see ya bye.

[Alelou]

Jungle Boy apparently still needs to hit bottom before he'll help himself and part of that may be having his friend say no, can't do this anymore, and MEAN it and BE CONSISTENT about it even though that's really hard to do.

Once again, there are support groups available to you in this. As B said, you have to look after yourself first.

[Aquarius]

Honestly? It sounds like you need to cut Jungle Boy loose, even if it's just for a while. Easier said than done, I know, but it sounds like he's too into the drama that his problem generates. Trust me, I've known a lot of addicts in my time, and the biggest reason I've seen for not getting proper help is because they love the drama, because it gets them tons and tons of attention.

So you need to stop giving him attention. Period. If you don't, then you get pulled into the drama, too--heck, you already are, since it's causing you all kinds of problems and emotional turmoil. And you know what? They feed off of that, too. It's emotional blackmail...and people like that are emotional vampires.

Yes, I'm sure he'd be a perfectly nice guy if he was all clean and sober and normal...but the point is he's not all clean and sober and normal. There's a reason they call it "tough love." Some people just need to be cut off so they can finish the bottoming-out process, and once they do, *then* they can realize that as much as change can hurt, it'll hurt too much not to change.

And if they won't change, then obviously keeping them around is too destructive.

I know. Easier said than done, especially if you like him. But it sounds like this is the part where you need to toughen up, worry about yourself instead of what he's doing. Take it from someone who's been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and learned it all the hard way.

[Buurman]

Once again, there are support groups available to you in this. As B said, you have to look after yourself first.

My name gets shortened to B?

I don't know why, but I find that very funny. Whahaha!

[Alelou]

Just be glad it wasn't BM.

[justTripn]

I took the day off, I sit down at about 3:00 to do my hobby: to happily edit fanfic. At 3:30 I get a call from one of my boys. He urgently needs a ride home from school to bring some big heavy project home that urgently needs to get finished, even if there is a snow day called tomorrow, and the snow storm has begun . . . 3 hours later, what with the snow and the standstill traffic, HERE I AM, I've got him and the project and we're back home. ARRGGGHHH!!!!

[Asso]

Huff and puff, huff and puff, huff and puff, huff and puff...