Honeybee I believe nothing of the sort. And if I thought you actually cared about what I believe I would tell you but I don't think you care. But such a statement is outrageous because we're talking about fiction and if you had any canonical evidence at all that anyone in the ST thought Kali'fee was wrong I'd love you to share it.
No, you just think its okay to call a fictional woman the most degrading and offensive words if she's is coerced by violence into marriage and chooses to be with the person she loves even after she's abandoned by her "spouse". I'm simply saying that I sympathize with her position, believe that all sentient (fictional or not) beings have the right to autonomy over their body and minds without the threat of violence and that Vulcan society, being a collectivist society, probably rarely deals with people who do not maintain the status quo and their marriage customs are not equipped to deal with the ugliness that can arise from the traditions. For the record, I think T'Pring was cold and manipulative and it doesn't speak well of her that she seemed to not care if Kirk or Spock died, but I think she was forced into that position by daring to have desires outside the mainstream.
And I don't have any evidence that Vulcans think this is wrong. I simply think they are wrong. And of course all of these characters are fiction. Are you saying that violence, rape, forced marraige and coercion is okay in fiction? Because fiction or not, it's not okay. Neither is it to force a male into the position where he is forcing a woman in sex or dies. Or even forcing him into a marriage at all.
And Silverbullet, I'm with you. Thinking of Spock giving T'Pring to Stonn makes me wince. She should have been able to give herself - even if it is a rare thing to do and most Vulcans are happy with their arranged matches.