Rigil's New Endeavour thread...

[krn]

brutal, terrible, horrible - yet so damn good!

I would TOTALLY pay the service fee on Fandango to preorder the tickets to see this movie on opening night. Then I'd wait a couple of weeks and go back and see it again when the theater wasn't so crowded. Then I'd buy the extended, 2-disc, special edition DVD set. Then I'd go back in 20 years when the remastered anniversary edition is released. Oh, and I'm buying all the action figures. And the scale, light up model of Endeavour with special effect sounds and movie quotes.

ya know, I almost had to go all Airlock!Archer on your ass - but then Trip walked through the door and everything was ok again.

[Rigil Kent]

Didja like the crafty bit of wordplay? I mean, Archer issuing a Broken Arrow command after seeing his would-be wife perish in a Big Boom?

[krn]

Well yeah....

Do you think Scott Bakula would autograph the 'Emotionally Scarred Commodore Archer' action figure for me?

edited - oops, getting my fics mixed up.

[Rigil Kent]

Not an admiral yet ... but if his schedule permits, he'll probably do so. Just don't get him started on the size of his role in the Star Trek: Endeavour series. He's always griping about wanting a bigger part...

Act 4, Scene 2 is up.

A lesson learned...

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Up at Fanfiction.net for those of you who prefer it there.

And you'll note that I still haven't dealt with LCDR Hess yet...

[Reanok]

Very powerful chapter on the Romulan Ship I can picture the destruction and the ship falling apart. DD'erix saving Valdore. I wonder what will happen next with LTcommander Hess. The Romulans are always plotting revenge.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

Well, that scene sure kicked ass!

It was great seeing something from a Romulan POV and it was quite believable!

[Mitchell]

All of them have kicked ass.

I have to admit, I rather enjoyed readin about how bad things are on the Rommie Flag ship. Seems this battle has turned into a loss for both sides.

An I loved how they deal with traitors in the Rumulan Imperial Fleet.
"roll" Dont worry ?I aint about to declair unconditional love for the Rommies. "raspberry"

Loved both Commander Maywether, an Capn Hernandez's final attack runs. Ok love probably isnt the best word to discribe feelings twards suicide attack runs.
Respect, there thats more fitting.


On a side note. Once you had Archer give the "Broken Arrow" order Rigil. My first thought was. "Did he just order his fleet to self destruct, an take the enemy with them?" Cause I doubted that they had any "air support" or even any artillery neary by to bring fire down on their local.

Great Job Rigil.

[blacknblue]

Superb.

[JadziaKathryn]

Wow. This whole act is really showing how nasty battle gets, while killing the third centurion is ruthlessly Romulan. If Chulak survived, I bet he'll be getting an unpleasant surprise.

Why is screaming during a fire dangerous, though? Is it just because you use more oxygen?

[Rigil Kent]

On a side note. Once you had Archer give the "Broken Arrow" order Rigil. My first thought was. "Did he just order his fleet to self destruct, an take the enemy with them?" Cause I doubted that they had any "air support" or even any artillery neary by to bring fire down on their local.

As I pointed out, though, that's only one of the uses for the "Broken Arrow" code. I think the nuclear incident terminology predates that one. I guess I could have used "Bent Spear" or "Empty Quiver", but I just liked the symbolism of a man named Archer issuing a Broken Arrow command...

Why is screaming during a fire dangerous, though? Is it just because you use more oxygen?

Well, I haven't ever actually been in a fire myself (knock on wood), but in an enclosed and oxygen-rich environment like a starship, it seems logical to assume (to me, anyway) that a flashfire like this one could potentially burn one's lungs if one were stupid enough to have one's mouth open. I could be wrong, of course, but as far as D'deridex is concerned, he thinks its dangerous...

And as for Chulak, well ..

[Dinah]

It's getting late and I don't have time to write a great deal, but I just wanted to let you know that I find your story very compelling. Your depiction of the horrors of war is very realistic and sadly all too true. This is some of the best writing you've done. It's wonderful.

[hth2k]

My biggiest issue with all of these is that they are way too short. THey just seem to zip by.

HtH

[Rigil Kent]

They are a little bit shorter than previous chapters, I must admit. It's partially intentional, partially not. On the intentional angle of it, I really want to try and get across the speed in which things are happening, the sense of urgency, the rapid-fire pace. On the unintentional aspect, I'm struggling with just how much "carnage" to go with. Contrary to what some might believe, I'm not a big blood and guts guy. I recognize that it has its place in a story like this, but I'm finding it hard to really focus on that sort of thing. I suppose that's a positive thing...

Anyway...

Act 4, Scene 3 is up.

In the big chair...

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Up at Fanfiction.net for those of you who prefer it there.

Still haven't dealt with Anna...

[hth2k]

My comment was inteneded to imply that I was enjoying reading them so they seemed to fly by. Yes I noticed they had shortened and didn't see a problem as it works. I was just kidding in a mild positive way.

I agree with your approach in using rapid vignets from many perspectives to show some of the vastness and complexity of the situation while bringing it home.
You make it very personal.

I also agree with the reduced appreation for gratuitous gore. There needs to be some to convey the intent. Remember Hitchcock was more powerful when he implied violence than showing it directly.

In combat things happen fast. In future battles things wil happen even faster and likely noone will realize what happened until much later and all the data is analyzed. Only a few will have any idea of what is going on around them. Most will be at their internal battle stations and just trying to perform their function, keep things together and survive. Most will have little idea of what is happening until they feel the impacts of weapons, react to damage or see things fail, explode collapse, rupture, etc. Depending upon where a duty station is someone may be manning a consol;e one moment and noting their last thoughts as they are sucked into the vacuum of space. Others may suffocate or freeze in a dark sealed off compartment, Still others may be consumed in heat and fire. Only when it is over and they start to come down from the adrenalin rush can they start to consider anything else like the simple fact that they aer still alive.

Ship commanders will have some idea of what is happening near to them and maybe thier companion vessles. They may catch glimses of something here and there but will have their attention fully devoted to carrying out their assignment and trying to promote their survival (personal and ship) also.

It may be the only ones to have an overview of things are the fleet admirals. As complex a situation as this is even they likely cannot comprehend much more than broad concepts punctuated with a few details added. Too many things happen at once. Most likely the only ones to have a really clear view of an action are those that review everything after the fact and even they will likely get it wrong.

HtH

[Rigil Kent]

God, I love reading your thoughts, HTH. And no, I haven't forgotten about that email ... I'm trying to figure out how to respond since some of your ideas are really close to an idea I had a while back about how to fix The Seventh...

Excellent points, and I agree wholeheartedly. I've heard of situations where a field commander can have data overload as well, which is what I figure is what would likely happen to a fleet commander or something, and why a Vulcan fleet commander (or an intelligent Romulan one) would be lethal to face (since I've established that they can "multi-task").

And then, there is always the X Factor that has to come into play that can singlehandedly change the course of a battle. Case in point: Columbia and Hernandez's decision to target the apparent command ship. It's provided just enough chaos to give the Starfleet ships an opportunity to slip free of the trap...

In case anyone is curious, the planned POV characters for the rest of Acheron are:

• Act Four, Scene Four: Tucker
• Act Five, Scene One: T'Pol
• Act Five, Scene Two: D'deridex
• Act Five, Scene Three: CDRE Casey
• Act Five, Scene Four: Tucker

That doesn't mean they'll stay like that, though, 'cause the planned POVs for this fic originally included two that I ultimately discarded entirely (CPT Amy Ebadi, CO of Atlantis, and CDR Aidan Cross, acting CO of Triton) because they didn't work and disrupted the flow of the story. I'm pretty set with these though, because I plan on the very last piece of dialog spoken by Tucker (and thus, the fic) to be "Start tomorrow."

I'm also thinking about posting the fic "overview" once the fic is complete, i.e. the outline that I originally drafted when I started working on this fic to give you guys and gals a look into how I work. If you're interested, that is.

I am planning on introducing Travis Mayweather's unnamed sister (mentioned in Fortunate Son and Horizon) at a point in the near future. I know she is married (probably a couple of years older than Travis) but not much more beyond that... I have tentatively narrowed down the role to Sanaa Lathan, pictured below:


Still struggling with a first name, though. Toying with something similar to mom's name (Rianna) ... maybe Selina and she goes by Lina...