The Whine thread.

[Alelou]

There's a reason, you're just not in any state to see it at the moment. Honey, if you're nearly as depressed as you sound in that post, look up the local suicide hotline on the phone book or online and call them. Now. Or go to the emergency room and tell them you're suicidal. Or if you're not at any immediate risk of doing something, you still need to start looking after your mental health. There are free clinics for that too. When you don't have friends or family around, you have to be your own best friend. You have to take care of yourself, and remember that life will not always be as dark as it seems at the moment.

If you're the slightest bit religious or charity-minded, you can also find help at a welcoming church or temple or charitable organization of some kind. There's probably no better way to feel a little less alone in the world than sinking into a little ritual or prayer/meditation or service to others. It can calm you down and move the focus off yourself in a healthy way. And they can help you find the services you need, too. It may take a few tries to find a comfortable fit, but they are out there.

[TPoptarts]

I'm not suicidal and I'm not depressed. I'm just in a lot of pain all the time and that's different, because it's not like pain out of nowhere it has a reason and the reason is that my pathetic excuse for a life sucks the big one and everyone hates me. And that's how it's always been and that's how it's always gonna be. There's really no light at the end of that tunnel and there's no hope and no reason to go on. That's why I wish I could just stop going on because going on without a reason just causes me more pain. And I don't like pain.

But I'm not like depressed or suicidal and mental help isn't the kinda thing that would help me because it's not like some kinda condition it's a situation. I'm sure you wouldn't be all like happy happy joy joy if your existence was like totally pointless and everyone hated you and only wanted to hurt you. And I'm not gonna hurt myself or anyone else. It's just that I know very well that there's really no reason for me to go on. If you knew me you'd know it too. And I've just had it. With everything. I don't wanna go on anymore. I wanna give up. But I can't

[CX]

I wouldn't say that you have no friends. After all, you have us.

[blacknblue]

Your existence is not pointless. But the key is that you have to assign the purpose to it yourself. You are the one who makes the decisions about your life, and you are the one who assigns the priorities. You are the one who decides what you will feel - nobody else has the power to put emotions or thoughts into your heart and head.

You set the goals. You make the decisions. You get the freedom to decide what the point is. Nobody else has the right or the power to make those calls. Only you do. If anyone else tries, tell them to kiss the spot of your choice.

Pointless? I think not. The creative work that you have given to us is far from pointless, as far as the people in this bunch are concerned. You are a talented writer and graphic artist. Hardly pointless. I don't know how good you are at acting, but I am willing to bet you are probably pretty good at that too, just judging from what I have seen of your other efforts.

And quit saying that everybody hates you. It is not true and you know it. Continuously repeating that canard makes you sound goofy. Everyone does not hate you. You know better than that, Kid. So quit it.

[TPoptarts]

Everybody does hate me. Everyone I've ever met. And everyone I will meet. That's just how it works. That's the truth. You don't know me in person so like maybe you think I'm like exaggerating or something. But I'm not. If you knew me in person you'd see just how right I am. Unfortunately. And if you knew me in person you'd hate me too.

[CX]

I highly doubt anyone else here hates you.

[TPoptarts]

But none of you have ever met me in person.

[JadziaKathryn]

Let's just consider something for a moment, shall we? I'd say most of us are true to ourselves as far as how we represent ourselves online. Maybe even truer than in person, 'cause it's not like we're trying to impress the person in front of us. So if we don't hate you online, it's highly illogical to think we'd hate you in person.

Now. If you want, TPoptarts, PM me your address and I'll send you a postcard from Australia. Because fun mail always brightens a day, right?

[blacknblue]

OK, Kid. I'm gonna call your bluff. Why would we hate you More specifically, why would I hate you You insist that if I met you in person I would hate you. Tell me why. What about you would make me hate you? What about you is so hateful? Are you a treacherous backstabber who betrays her friends? Are you a criminal of some sort? What is so terrible about you that makes you certain that I would hate you? Chronic halitosis?

[TPoptarts]

It's not a "bluff" okay. And I don't know why you'd hate me. People don't need a reason to hate me. They just do. Sometimes they make reasons up. I'm not a criminal and I don't backstab or betray anyone. I just wasn't born to be liked. And that's the honest truth. Anyone I've ever met either started out hating me or has come to hate me soon enough. So I can't give you a reason. But then again I've never given anyone else a reason and they all hate me anyway.

[blacknblue]

*sigh*



It will get better little girl. I swear it will. I am a tired old father person. I know whereof I speak. It doesn't seem like it now, but it WILL get better.

[justTripn]

Everyone I ever met at conventions was EXACTLY the person they are online. We really should take up a collection and send you to a convention. Also, I have an artist son. Your art is wonderful. And aside from talent (I hope we are not valued on talent alone, or what the heck am I doing here with all you talented people?) there is your unique perspective. We ALL have one and that is valuable. And if I ever have a photoshop/computer-code emergency, I can count on you. Stop chanting horrible things to yourself. Why not chant, "I have friends who like me. I have friends who like me" and go from there?

[Asso]

With your writing skills, have you tried submitting articles to online publications? Some of them actually pay money, believe it or not.

Yes.
Have you tried to do that?

[justTripn]

I'm a bit down. I guess life is getting to me. I gave up my job last year to spend more time with Mini Drogna, which is great in so many ways, but I find myself missing the challenge I got at work. Recently I started applying for jobs but since one of the reasons I gave up was because I hated my old job, I've been trying to get into something new. So far I haven't had a single interview for anything, either because I'm "over-qualified" or because I "lack experience" - which makes no sense. Surely I can't be both.

Yes, temping would be great. I worked part-time when my kids were little, so I could have my cake and eat it too. The wages just barely paid for the daycare, but we all were happy. The kids need a little bit of mommy time and a little bit of fun with their friends at school.

[Alelou]

T'Poptarts -- you're funny and creative and obviously you have friends online.

But if you are always this negative about yourself with people in real life they may not hate you but they will definitely start to avoid you. They will be uncomfortable, or even bored, because you will sound like a broken record. And you will be so focused on your own unhappiness that you won't be able to listen to or notice anything about them.
The way you choose to think about your life and lead your life defines who you are. Right now you are stuck in a pattern that is not serving you well. You may not have started this pattern, you may be responsible for this pattern, things may have happened to you in your life that put you into this situation, but it's not going to magically get better on its own. You need to get yourself some help. You are a smart girl and you can do it. Just think about it.