Shuttlepod 1
Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2014 5:07 pm
OK, I'm out of new TV to watch tonight so time for some snark.
Malcolm and Trip are in a shuttlepod. Apparently they're trying to rendezvous with Enterprise in an asteroid field that Enterprise is supposed to be mapping. Trip is trying to fix the radio while Malcolm is driving with his head out the window trying to read the road signs.
Malcolm is obviously not a sissy because he is reading from a book called Ulysses. And Camp Grenada is ever so entertaining.
And we've found a big blotch on an asteroid. Oh boy, lots of debris. And it looks like parts of Enterprise. The results of one of those "Hey, watch this!" moments apparently. Cue the theme music.
And we switch to Enterprise warping along and Hoshi coming in to update Archer on some Tessians who need boron gas. So there's a mystery in here as to where the wreckage came from and I do not remember what it is. So is my memory faulty or was this just "boron"? We shall see…
Looks like the Tessian's ship blew up and took off a couple of pieces. OK, so much for the mystery. You know, Trip is the Chief Engineer. He should recognize all of the broken pieces.
Archer and T'Pol take a trip in an inspection pod. Those were kind of forgotten in later seasons, weren't they? And the first (only?) mention of Lt Hess, a fan fiction favorite.
T'Pol mentions that they saw some evidence of micro-singularities back at the asteroid field, which Archer puts down as a Vulcan myth. So Vulcans don't believe in time travel and Humans don't believe in micro-singularities. Just wait until they find time traveling micro-singularities and then everyone's head can explode!
Back to Shuttlepod 1 and they're really bummed out and arguing about what to do to leave good looking corpses when the air runs out.
Malcolm thinks he recognizes a blue giant that they passed by. Excuse me while I pull on my Dr. Science hat and get out my soap box. Ahem. The shuttle is not warp capable. Stars are typically light years apart. That means if you're traveling at the speed of light it will take you years to get to one let alone pass it. A shuttlepod at impulse would be at best capable of running around a solar system, not between stars. OK, I'll put the Dr. Science hat away.
Before leaving, pulling out the space suits and searching the wreckage would be a good idea, though, dontcha think guys? Might find some supplies. But that would wreck the rest of the plot…
Malcolm is making a rather morbid log entry and annoying Trip. And it sounds like Malcolm actually understands how fast impulse is while Trip doesn't as Trip is sure they'll run into somebody around the next planet they come across and Malcolm thinks that will be years away. Well, when all else fails, it's time to break for dinner and bourbon.
After dinner Trip is trying to sleep and Malcolm is dictating letters. And this is why I prefer to type, though a clicking keyboard is pretty annoying too. And we move into passive-aggressive sniping and questions to parents light years away. Now we come to the crux of this roommate problem. Malcolm doesn't want to waste oxygen sleeping and plans to party with his recordings instead while Trip has a final in the morning and wants some sleep.
Malcolm wakes up in sickbay with Archer and Phlox. Archer and Phlox exit leaving T'Pol behind who is going to reward Malcolm's heroics in the best way. But this turns out to really be an episode of I Dream of T'Pol as he gets a smile out of her with his new nickname, Stinky. And just as he's about to lock lips with her he wakes up to Trip futzing with the radio.
Hull breech! I guess StarFleet doesn't have a hull repair kit that includes a candle or something to find leaks along with some bubble gum to patch them up so Trip floods the compartment with some nitrogen and Malcolm uses some leftover mashed potatoes to plug the holes. The suspenseful music builds while Malcolm tells Trip they only have two days worth of air left now.
Trip starts reminiscing about Ruby the girl of his dreams and it turns out that Malcolm also knew her, apparently in the biblical sense. Trip and Malcolm decide to turn the cabin heat down to stretch the life support. Malcolm starts shaving and discussing how he's planning to leave a good looking corpse and Trip busts out the old chestnut about your hair and fingernails continuing to grow after death, even claiming he learned this in honors biology. Unfortunately that's not true (http://www.snopes.com/science/nailgrow.asp) so Trip's honors biology course must have been the honors course for kids on the short bus.
On Enterprise, T'Pol is back to normal and telling Archer about micro-singularities hitting Enterprise and the Tessian ship. Archer comes to the correct (wow!) conclusion that those micro-singularities might be giving Trip and Malcolm a tough time so they should give them a call to see how they are. That's not a bad idea, but shouldn'y you be checking in with them like every hour or so?
Malcolm is dictating another Morbid-Gram in the now freezing cold shuttlepod while Trip tries to get the latest score for the Yankees game. After more arguing Trip decides to bust out the booze. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Trip lights off a candle to hasten their demise.
We move into truth-telling mode and the people Malcolm feels closest to are the Enterprise crew so Trip blows out the candle.
A few more parsecs on the Kessel Run and they're pretty blotto but they did manage to find the blankets. Malcolm brings up his dream girl, T'Pol and how he thinks she's pretty. "She's got an awfully nice bum" - a phrase that shall live in infamy.
Hoshi comes on the radio and they're all happy, but the new co-ordinates are two days away, they're out of oxygen and the they can't send on the radio.
They're trying to figure out how to stretch the oxygen supply. You know, one of my pet peeves about a lot of science fiction movies is that as soon as the "life support" switches off everyone starts gasping for breath. In something as big as Shuttlepod 1 they should have a good twelve hours or more of breathable atmosphere, longer if they run the CO2 filters. Anyhow...
Malcolm wants to blow up the engine to get Enterprise's attention and so they do. Now they're shivering and running out of air so Trip's going to go lock himself into the airlock. More bonding over phase pistols.
Malcolm wakes up in Sick Bay again with Archer, Phlox and T'Pol. This time T'Pol's not warming Stinky up for his heroics so it must be real.
Hmmm…well, a lot of screen time to get Malcolm and Trip to be buddies without much going on. I think it needed more explosions or T'Pol nookie. It was so static the wasn't much room for snark. I'll give it an OK.
Malcolm and Trip are in a shuttlepod. Apparently they're trying to rendezvous with Enterprise in an asteroid field that Enterprise is supposed to be mapping. Trip is trying to fix the radio while Malcolm is driving with his head out the window trying to read the road signs.
Malcolm is obviously not a sissy because he is reading from a book called Ulysses. And Camp Grenada is ever so entertaining.
And we've found a big blotch on an asteroid. Oh boy, lots of debris. And it looks like parts of Enterprise. The results of one of those "Hey, watch this!" moments apparently. Cue the theme music.
And we switch to Enterprise warping along and Hoshi coming in to update Archer on some Tessians who need boron gas. So there's a mystery in here as to where the wreckage came from and I do not remember what it is. So is my memory faulty or was this just "boron"? We shall see…
Looks like the Tessian's ship blew up and took off a couple of pieces. OK, so much for the mystery. You know, Trip is the Chief Engineer. He should recognize all of the broken pieces.
Archer and T'Pol take a trip in an inspection pod. Those were kind of forgotten in later seasons, weren't they? And the first (only?) mention of Lt Hess, a fan fiction favorite.
T'Pol mentions that they saw some evidence of micro-singularities back at the asteroid field, which Archer puts down as a Vulcan myth. So Vulcans don't believe in time travel and Humans don't believe in micro-singularities. Just wait until they find time traveling micro-singularities and then everyone's head can explode!
Back to Shuttlepod 1 and they're really bummed out and arguing about what to do to leave good looking corpses when the air runs out.
Malcolm thinks he recognizes a blue giant that they passed by. Excuse me while I pull on my Dr. Science hat and get out my soap box. Ahem. The shuttle is not warp capable. Stars are typically light years apart. That means if you're traveling at the speed of light it will take you years to get to one let alone pass it. A shuttlepod at impulse would be at best capable of running around a solar system, not between stars. OK, I'll put the Dr. Science hat away.
Before leaving, pulling out the space suits and searching the wreckage would be a good idea, though, dontcha think guys? Might find some supplies. But that would wreck the rest of the plot…
Malcolm is making a rather morbid log entry and annoying Trip. And it sounds like Malcolm actually understands how fast impulse is while Trip doesn't as Trip is sure they'll run into somebody around the next planet they come across and Malcolm thinks that will be years away. Well, when all else fails, it's time to break for dinner and bourbon.
After dinner Trip is trying to sleep and Malcolm is dictating letters. And this is why I prefer to type, though a clicking keyboard is pretty annoying too. And we move into passive-aggressive sniping and questions to parents light years away. Now we come to the crux of this roommate problem. Malcolm doesn't want to waste oxygen sleeping and plans to party with his recordings instead while Trip has a final in the morning and wants some sleep.
Malcolm wakes up in sickbay with Archer and Phlox. Archer and Phlox exit leaving T'Pol behind who is going to reward Malcolm's heroics in the best way. But this turns out to really be an episode of I Dream of T'Pol as he gets a smile out of her with his new nickname, Stinky. And just as he's about to lock lips with her he wakes up to Trip futzing with the radio.
Hull breech! I guess StarFleet doesn't have a hull repair kit that includes a candle or something to find leaks along with some bubble gum to patch them up so Trip floods the compartment with some nitrogen and Malcolm uses some leftover mashed potatoes to plug the holes. The suspenseful music builds while Malcolm tells Trip they only have two days worth of air left now.
Trip starts reminiscing about Ruby the girl of his dreams and it turns out that Malcolm also knew her, apparently in the biblical sense. Trip and Malcolm decide to turn the cabin heat down to stretch the life support. Malcolm starts shaving and discussing how he's planning to leave a good looking corpse and Trip busts out the old chestnut about your hair and fingernails continuing to grow after death, even claiming he learned this in honors biology. Unfortunately that's not true (http://www.snopes.com/science/nailgrow.asp) so Trip's honors biology course must have been the honors course for kids on the short bus.
On Enterprise, T'Pol is back to normal and telling Archer about micro-singularities hitting Enterprise and the Tessian ship. Archer comes to the correct (wow!) conclusion that those micro-singularities might be giving Trip and Malcolm a tough time so they should give them a call to see how they are. That's not a bad idea, but shouldn'y you be checking in with them like every hour or so?
Malcolm is dictating another Morbid-Gram in the now freezing cold shuttlepod while Trip tries to get the latest score for the Yankees game. After more arguing Trip decides to bust out the booze. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Trip lights off a candle to hasten their demise.
We move into truth-telling mode and the people Malcolm feels closest to are the Enterprise crew so Trip blows out the candle.
A few more parsecs on the Kessel Run and they're pretty blotto but they did manage to find the blankets. Malcolm brings up his dream girl, T'Pol and how he thinks she's pretty. "She's got an awfully nice bum" - a phrase that shall live in infamy.
Hoshi comes on the radio and they're all happy, but the new co-ordinates are two days away, they're out of oxygen and the they can't send on the radio.
They're trying to figure out how to stretch the oxygen supply. You know, one of my pet peeves about a lot of science fiction movies is that as soon as the "life support" switches off everyone starts gasping for breath. In something as big as Shuttlepod 1 they should have a good twelve hours or more of breathable atmosphere, longer if they run the CO2 filters. Anyhow...
Malcolm wants to blow up the engine to get Enterprise's attention and so they do. Now they're shivering and running out of air so Trip's going to go lock himself into the airlock. More bonding over phase pistols.
Malcolm wakes up in Sick Bay again with Archer, Phlox and T'Pol. This time T'Pol's not warming Stinky up for his heroics so it must be real.
Hmmm…well, a lot of screen time to get Malcolm and Trip to be buddies without much going on. I think it needed more explosions or T'Pol nookie. It was so static the wasn't much room for snark. I'll give it an OK.