The Whine thread.

[Silverbullet]

My belief is "Eat whatever does not get out of your way quick enough" Saves a lot of worry. course if it is a big humgry Tiger that is a different story.

[WarpGirl]

Well I wish that advice helped my situation but unfortunately not.

[Aquarius]

Well it's not really that I have a problem with people knowing what I eat. My concern is basically that there won't be a lot of support or groups where I can learn to do this in a healthy and constructive way. There just doesn't seem to be enough information, because there are so many carnivors, vegetarians, and vegans, who think that people like me are hypocritical. And I thought the mean vegetarian/vegan thing was a stereotype used to promote activists, I didn't really think it was "real" real. It just shocked me that people who are so passionate about "life" can be so cruel to humans (sapient beings).

It seems then that your best bet would be a dietitian, versus an online community or whatever. Maybe he or she could put you in touch with resources that would be more sympathetic.

The other angle is...if you do need to seek support of these strangers, go ahead, but if they get all freaked out and judgmental, then simply ignore them. There's no law saying you have to engage everyone who says something to you, especially if it's bad.

Failing that, you can always tell them what bus to ride and where to get off.

[WarpGirl]

Well it's not that I'm seeking "SUPPORT" from strangers. I'm seeking INFORMATION! Big difference, and what I've noticed is that the more 'passionate' vegans and vegetarians out there, are not very polite to people merely seeking information. I don't seek "support" from any stangers; even people here, because lets face it, the majority of us have never, and will never meet. I know a small group here has met, and formed more personal relationships but it's unlikely that I'll have an oppertunity to do so.

I intend to see a dietician and a nutritionist. I think it would be foolish to try and do this without professional help given my health.

[Distracted]

I intend to see a dietician and a nutritionist.

Why both? They're basically the same thing in the US except a dietician's actually certified so you know they've had training. Anybody with an interest in the field can hang up a shingle as a "nutritionist". If I was seeing anyone for nutritional advice I'd make sure they were a registered dietician.

[WarpGirl]

Sometimes where I live they have both titles.

[Aquarius]

My concern is basically that there won't be a lot of support or groups where I can learn to do this in a healthy and constructive way.

Sorry, but I can't claim responsibility for the idea you might've been seeking support, since it was your own wording.

I get the impression that you think that everything I say to you is meant to be adversarial. I think you know that isn't true. If it were, we'd never agree on anything (and you know we have). If trying to encourage you to seek a professional for help for what you're looking for and to ignore the food Nazis (love that label! ) was the wrong thing to do, I'm sorry.

[WarpGirl]

I appologize, in the context where I used support I meant it as in a intellectual support. Giving and exchanging information. When I read your post I got the context as emotional support. If I was wrong I happily admit error. And as for me thinking you are adversarial, no. I feel like you treat me as an adversary someone you must defend yourself against. Big difference. I spend half my time thinking "What in God's name have I done wrong now?" It's depressing.

[Aquarius]

Well...same here. For my end, I often feel that you come on strong or say things to be contrary, and when that elicits a similarly strong response, you cry foul. That can be frustrating to deal with, too. Sometimes I feel like you grab hold of something, even if it had little to do with the point being made, and keep hammering away at it--and me. I frequently walk away feeling gobsmacked, and dizzy. So if you perceive that I'm treating you as an adversary, maybe I'm responding to the perception that I'm being hammered at.

Likewise, I apologize for any miscommunication or wrong impressions. One of life's realities is that some people just rub each other the wrong way, without even trying to. Maybe we always will. It takes all kinds, and all that. Either way, I'm not here to depress you. If you want to continue to discuss this toward the end of working it out, my PM box is always open, and I believe you have my email address.

But one thing: even if you or I did mean emotional support, so what? There's nothing wrong with someone talking you through a rough patch, or saying "you go, girl!" when things are going well, even if you don't meet them face to face. Furthermore, it's easy to infer that emotional support might've been part of it, when you post here that you're worried about people you don't even know hating you because you've made a healthy dietary/lifestyle choice (especially in a situation where, if you're just collecting information, you can just sit back and read and not really have to engage anybody, and said people are obviously stupid if they will hate on a stranger and can't respect someone's decision to do what's right for their personal health and situation), but by all accounts any other time you're strong in your convictions and don't really care what other people think about you. It seemed contradictory to your nature. So a red flag got raised and I thought "Hmmmm, something's wrong here..."--other than the obvious annoying food Nazi issue that is. If I was wrong... . Sorry. I didn't mean to ascribe something to you that wasn't there, but maybe you can see why I thought that?

[Bether6074]

I'm not sure what might have taken place with the two of you here, but a strong (defensive or angry) response to something usually carries some deeper meaning within the person who is having the response. If someone feels as though they are being responded to negatively (or feels misunderstood), there are probably some feelings around that which have little to do with what has actually taken place within a specific post and more to do with the emotion it arouses. So if you want to know more about its meaning you have to get right inside the feeling evoked and find out where that's coming from. Just some early morning psychobabble. Feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

[Linda]

You are on to something, Bether. Because in my own situation, my husband says I have low self esteme and don't believe praise when I get it! Meaning especially from him, I guess. I think it is from a long term situation in my childhood. And I have seen people who have had to fight their way up in the world because of a disability or cultural background that was percieved negatively and they just can't shake an agressive attitude toward people who really are treating them okay - like it's a knee jerk reaction to see criticism where there is none. I try to check the source of my own feelings often because I know I have expressed hurt and anger in a missplaced way! Heck, I don't know whether this comment helps or upsets anyone here, but I hope it helps! I try not to have to keep saying I am sorry, LOL.

[Silverbullet]

Linda, understand. Never getting a acknowldegement of accomplishments from ones parents can be shattering much less from others.

So, I am with you on this.

BTW, there is a sying that John Wayn and now gibbs on NCIS says "Never apologize it is a sign of weakness." I have always seen it as sign of strength. the strength to acnowlede a mistake of having hurt someone. Of acknowldging any number of thigs. Most people don't have the strength to do those tings so they excuse themseves rather than apologize.

[Alelou]

This is not a response to anyone in particular, but since this is the whine thread and I know that the difficulty in getting help shows up here sometimes, I thought this article about how to find free or low-cost mental health care might be of help:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/21/healt ... nt.html?em

[auroraborealis]

I feel the need to whine because youtube keeps taking all my fav fanvids off. THere was this awesome Malcolm "What I've Done" video. Gone. And then this other montage that had a song by evenecence and started off with that scene with Phlox and archer and Archer asks him if he's ever done anything unethical. GONE. ugh. depressed.

[WarpGirl]

My grandparents went back to NY without saying goodbye to me. Typical! And my cat has worms because she had fleas. And a piece of advice to every girl out there NEVER EVER fall in love with your best friend's brother. Because even 5 years after you break up it bites you.

God I sound pathetic!