The Whine thread.

[Alelou]

But it's very hard to control the spoiled brat inside who kicks and screams and wants to believe she's too good to be in the situation she's in.

And if she's like mine she sometimes likes to make herself feel better by buying crap. I've tried to channel my inner spoiled brat into useful expeditions like stocking up on cheap cereal and cat litter at Target instead. (But she must be kept out of the clearance rack in the housewares department at all cost!!)

[TPoptarts]

CHOCOLATE.

[TPoptarts]

Whine: so I went to the free clinic today for a follow-up, and like there's always this registration thing that people gotta do before their appointments. And so the registration guy asks me for an "emergency contact" and I said I don't have any. And like it's not the first time I was at the free clinic and my chart had no emergency contact because I never gave them any, because I don't have anyone. But this time that frelling dude insisted and I kept telling him I don't have anyone, and he won't let me go and he said if I can't give him an emergency contact then I'll have to wait to talk to the supervisor about it so the supervisor would tell me that I really HAVE TO give them emergency contact, like what the frell why is it such a big deal all of the sudden. And THEN he said that if I wanna wait for the supervisor and talk it over or whatever then if I wait longer than 15 minutes after my appointment time it's gonna be cancelled. So like what basically if I can't give you an emergency contact you won't treat me?? Like WTF. I mean like then they'll have to reschedule me for like whatever 3 months from now as usual, and then I'll show up and they'll ask for an emergency contact again, and I won't have one so I'll have to wait until my appointment gets cancelled and so on and on and on. WHAT THE FRELL. That's so retarded. As if it's not bad enough that I'm poor and I don't have insurance why do they have to make everything harder on people.

So I ended up giving them Dart Vader's number as emergency contact. Like how frelling pathetic does it make me that I have to use DARTH VADER as my emergency contact. I hope they won't call her for anything EVER. I don't want her in my business and I know she doesn't really want anything to do with me and all the frelling issues I have and I don't want them to tell her anything. And that guy said like that they need an emergency contact if they wanna send like a certified letter, like huh what do they have to send HER a letter for, can't they send ME letters that would make more sense and also he said like "if we wanna draw blood and you pass out, we need an emergency contact" like WTF I always pass out when someone wanna draw blood, that's no frelling emergency gah I just hope they won't call her and especially that they won't tell her anything.

AND I'm scared of chickenpox like because I never had chickenpox when I was a kid, and now I'm old and it's dangerous, and like yesterday I read some more scary stuff about it and now I'm scared like how did I NOT get chickenpox my sister had chickenpox when I was 3 and we were sharing a room for crying out loud, and my other 2 sisters had it when I was in school, and I was playing with 4 kids in the same family they all had chickenpox, and I even had 2 cagemates here who got chickenpox while they were sharing a room with me. And I didn't get chickenpox. And like the only way to check if I'm immune is with NEEDLES, or get vaccinated with NEEDLES, and NO ONE'S STICKING A NEEDLE IN ME EVER AGAIN. And I'm scared

[Aquarius]

But it's very hard to control the spoiled brat inside who kicks and screams and wants to believe she's too good to be in the situation she's in.

And if she's like mine she sometimes likes to make herself feel better by buying crap. I've tried to channel my inner spoiled brat into useful expeditions like stocking up on cheap cereal and cat litter at Target instead. (But she must be kept out of the clearance rack in the housewares department at all cost!!)

Yeah, I've been known to engage in a little retail therapy here and there...but usually it's after going without buying shoes or clothes or movies or books or whatever for a really, really long time, and then a big ol' string of profanity erupts and I get all indignant and I decide to blow a week's take on whatever, because F--- this, I DESERVE it!!

TP--you can get an immunization for chicken pox. I thought I had an immunity to it--when I was a baby I had a reaction to my small pox shot, and about a year after that I got the shingles, which usually only adults get--and even then only once they've had chicken pox. But I never got the actual chicken pox, even though my mom tried exposing me on purpose multiple times.

Then when I turned 30, the subject came up, because chicken pox is much worse when you get it as an adult--even fatal in some cases, from what I understand. My mom's a nurse, and she told me to get the bloodwork done to see if I had an immunity, so I did. My doctor said the theory of why I never got it was a good one, but incorrect--I had no immunity, I'd just gotten lucky all these years.

I know you don't like needles but the shot doesn't hurt much--you get two of them, about two weeks apart from what I remember. Tetanus shot was worse--that one left me feeling like I'd gotten socked in the arm for a couple of days. (All because my friend's cat Booger bit me and it got infected.) But the good thing is, they DO give it to you in the arm, so you don't have to look when they do it.

Try yoga to quell your anxiety--it really helps. I don't doubt the validity of your phobia, but I do want to strongly encourage you to not be victimized by it. I know your fear is real, but like anything in life, it only has as much power as you allow. After beauty school, I had anxiety attacks every day for like two years because--oh my god!!--I was gonna have to do someone's hair today!! Kinda weird, I know, but I refused to let it paralyze me because if I did, I wouldn't be able to earn a living. So I kept it to myself, and faked it until I made it. I didn't freak out and let anyone else know I was afraid, because that would've just fed into it and made it worse--the less drama about it, the better, I guess. After a while, the realization that it hadn't killed me yet and that I hadn't screwed up anyone's hair made going to work a lot easier. I still struggle with it on bad days even now, but I made up my mind not to be fear's b*tch. Life's too short.

[TPoptarts]

Yeah but it's not just fear or anxiety, it's a phobia and like yeah I know it's like totally irrational that's why it's a phobia not just fear. I can't really "fake it" or keep it to myself as if I'm not scared to death on the outside or whatever. I can't control my own reaction I can't even breathe and I pass out. And like yeah I know it "hasn't killed me yet" and whatever (though the vaso-vagal reaction to needles CAN actually be fatal in rare cases ). But still it just gets worse every time. If I had control over my reaction to needles and whether to "make a scene" or not then I'd DESERVE the attitude I get from everyone.

[JadziaKathryn]

Can't they give you some sort of sedative or relaxant? That could only help.

Somehow, my whine about shoveling snow seems less meaningful compared to all this.

[Aquarius]

Yeah but it's not just fear or anxiety, it's a phobia and like yeah I know it's like totally irrational that's why it's a phobia not just fear. I can't really "fake it" or keep it to myself as if I'm not scared to death on the outside or whatever. I can't control my own reaction I can't even breathe and I pass out. And like yeah I know it "hasn't killed me yet" and whatever (though the vaso-vagal reaction to needles CAN actually be fatal in rare cases ). But still it just gets worse every time. If I had control over my reaction to needles and whether to "make a scene" or not then I'd DESERVE the attitude I get from everyone.

I understand. I am just trying to remind you that people overcome phobias all the time. They just had to want to badly enough. And no it didn't magically disappear. But it can be done, if you want it. It's all about your attitude, no matter how deeply-rooted the fear. Will it ever completely go away? Maybe not--but maybe you can reduce it to a livable dull roar versus a paralyzing cacophony. People get control over phobias like flying and heights and all kinds of things, mostly because the individuals in question get tired of how their lives become so limited because of their fears. Your fear is one that can compromise the kind of medical care you get, and as you pointed out yourself with the chicken pox thing, that's pretty dangerous. I'm not gonna pretend to know you or be your best pal or anything, but yeah, I'm concerned about what you're saying. I wouldn't bother posting about it if I wasn't.

That said, I agree that maybe they should've handled the situation differently, but it seems you're at a point in your life where maybe it's time to meet them partway and start taking some constructive steps--no matter how small they are, so they're manageable--to gain a measure of control over your phobia. Needles are scary, and change is scary...but now you're at a point in your life where you're facing things like the adult onset of chicken pox, so maybe it's more scary not to change, or at least try to? Therapy is expensive, but maybe the free clinic can help with some free counseling, in a group setting or something. And there's about a bazillion books on the subject...and my suggestion about yoga wasn't flippant; not only is it good exercise, but it helps to quiet the mind and body so at least the breathing and mental exercises could help the next time you're freaking out--it sure helped me quit smoking, and THAT was hard, too.

It won't ever be perfect, but at least you won't have to be completely victimized by your fear, and you won't have to worry about what other people think about you in those situations. It'll take some time, but I promise you it's doable, if you want it badly enough.

[Alelou]

"A COMPLEX WINTER STORM WILL IMPACT OUR REGION STARTING AROUND
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT AND CONTINUE THROUGH WEDNESDAY AND INTO MUCH OF
WEDNESDAY NIGHT. BY THE TIME THE SNOW TAPERS OFF LATER WEDNESDAY
NIGHT 6 TO 16 INCHES OF SNOWFALL ACCUMULATION IS EXPECTED..."

Gah!

[evcake]

[Asso]

BAD BAD BAD WINTER!

[TPoptarts]

Whine: I'm cramping. MID-CYCLE!! As if it's not bad enough that I have to cramp on my periods. Well at least it's not nearly as painful as my menstrual cramps. But still.

[Aquarius]

Whine: I have to spend the whole day at U of D dental school, just to get my teeth cleaned. Hey, it's only twelve bucks, so...??? Yeah. I'm bringing a notebook, an ipod, and I'll use the downtime between getting poked at to get some writing done.

[Alelou]

Why does it take so long? Do they parcel your mouth out to the students one tooth at a time? Or does it take all day to wait for them to see you?

My husband got violently ill tonight about an hour after dinner. I baked chicken and Italian sausage, the sausage just for him because he's the only one who eats that and he's also the one who keeps buying it even though it's made him sick before. Mind you, I baked it for over an hour AND I tested it with a meat thermometer and actually it was overcooked. So sorry honey, but I expressed my fervent belief that it had to be the sausage.

But ... I gave the feral cat some leftover chicken and she didn't eat much. So now we wait to see if it really was just the sausage, or Alejandro and I are just behind the curve, or if the cat just really doesn't like paprika and garam masala, or if this is just some rotten rotavirus. Ah, the suspense!

[Aquarius]

Oooh! Sorry to hear about your hubby!!

Re: the dentist thing--it's a lot of waiting. Only one student will be doing the work--I answered her Craig's List ad--but there are only a few instructors to so many students, so from what I understand my day is going to be stuff like get my x-rays taken, wait for the prof to come back with the student to chat with me about them; get top row cleaned (and probably not as quickly as at the dentist's office), wait for prof to come by and inspect; lunch; brush teeth; get bottom row cleaned; wait for prof to come by and inspect. And so on. So I'm there from 8:30 am to 3:30 pm, with an hour and a half lunch in between.

Then I go to the salon from 5-8.

[Alelou]

Oh man, I'm tired for you. Glad you are prepared for all that waiting. We'll look forward to the story you get to work on!