The Whine thread.

[Asso]

I can understand you very well.
It's tremendous.
Is a trouble shared a trouble halved?

[blacknblue]

And I thought I had problems...

[Alelou]

Sympathy to both of you. That's no fun at all.

Bether, your instincts as a parent are probably correct, but it is not unheard of to turn to a prescribed pharmaceutical support when seeking therapy. Some people just can't get through the painful stuff that has to be dredged up without that help. If anxiety is preventing your daughter from even beginning a discussion, it may not be unreasonable to try out a drug for that initial work.

You know her best, so I'm really just throwing that out there as something to think about.

[Distracted]

I'm not the child's doctor, obviously, nor am I a therapist, but I agree with you, Alelou. What little I know about therapy tells me that you can't make progress in therapy with someone until they're thinking clearly enough to have insight into their problem. If they're hysterically emotional it's not going to work. If they're a child it's even harder, because you've got to get the child to objectively problem solve. Even intelligent children have trouble looking at situations objectively. Even adults who are anxious or depressed enough can't do it.

[Distracted]

A nerve in my lower back started to act up so now I can't properly stand or sit without agony. Even laying down isn't without pain .

Do you have a doctor you can see? Pain like that could be a nerve, as you say, or it may be muscle spasm. You can try heat to relax the muscle and an anti-inflammatory (like aspirin), but it sounds like you should see someone if you're in that much pain.

[Bether6074]

I just hate drugs and I suppose I let that cloud my judgement. This guy saw her ONCE. I don't trust him yet. He seemed annoyed and impatient with her, as if she was wasting his time. He didn't even attempt to engage her. Sometimes you have to be gentle and patient and work with a shy person, give them time to adjust. I naturally got upset. I feel much better after having spoken with my cousin, though. He told me how these types of drugs work and reassured me, which was all I needed. He's currently looking for another doctor for us. I just want her to be okay. I want to do what's right and what's best for her. I'm trying. It's just hard.

[blacknblue]

Treating mental illness is an art, not a science. No matter what the experts might try to claim. If you, or your child, are not comfortable with your doctor then it won't work no matter how many years they spent sitting in a classroom. Find someone that you feel good about, someone that clicks with your daughter, or at minimum that your daughter is not afraid of.

[JadziaKathryn]

Demanding drugs after just one session does seem hasty to me. What a relief to have a professional you can talk to who can help you find a trustworthy doctor. Best wishes for you and your girl, Bether.

[Bether6074]

I've been doing research on the computer. Still trying to find out what's wrong with my daughter. I think I may very well have found it. Maybe not autism at all, but something called Selective Mutism, which is a severe form of social anxiety where the child can't speak in public settings but can at home. The symptoms fit right down the line...even the " communicates in monosyllabic, short or monotone utterances or in an altered voice" part. She has done that since she was two. A lot of the symptoms sound autistic-like, so I can see where the confusion might come into play, but this is an anxiety disorder. Wonder where she might have gotten the genes for something like that? I could be onto something here. Now to find the right therapist.

If I could calm things down here at home I could maybe get back to things like reading and writing again. I miss writing sappy fics.

Does anyone know it JT is away?

[JadziaKathryn]

Does anyone know it JT is away?

She's off to a star party, far away from interfering lights.

[enterprikayak]

I've been doing research on the computer. Still trying to find out what's wrong with my daughter. I think I may very well have found it. Maybe not autism at all, but something called Selective Mutism, which is a severe form of social anxiety where the child can't speak in public settings but can at home. The symptoms fit right down the line...even the " communicates in monosyllabic, short or monotone utterances or in an altered voice" part. She has done that since she was two. A lot of the symptoms sound autistic-like, so I can see where the confusion might come into play, but this is an anxiety disorder. Wonder where she might have gotten the genes for something like that? I could be onto something here. Now to find the right therapist.

If I could calm things down here at home I could maybe get back to things like reading and writing again. I miss writing sappy fics.

Does anyone know it JT is away?

Good luck Bether. You're a good mommy.

[TPoptarts]

Whine: I'm. Pissed. Off.

Everyone here eats in their rooms. EVERYONE. And no one makes a big deal out of it and it's definitely not like forbidden or anything. The manager didn't even say anything to TERMITE when she was here eating in the room even though she totally hated it because Termite was dirty and messy and irresponsible and disgusting and made a whole lot of mess with her food and drinks. And the manager never said a word. And she never said anything about eating in the room to anyone else either.

SO WHY ME????? Really what the FRELL?? I'm not messy and I'm not dirty and I've been eating in the room since ever just like everyone else. And like a while ago the manager came in with new people and saw me eating and she was like no food in the room, we have a kitchen, you should eat downstairs. In front of the people to make me look bad. Like she keeps telling me like how people complain about me all the time and she's the one soliciting the complaints. She's the one giving them a bad first impression of me when I'm not even doing anything wrong!! And they don't know that.

And like then today she comes in with FIVE new chicks, when there's only FOUR beds available in the frelling room so now there's 7 people in a 6 bed dorm, all while Darth Vader STILL has her own frelling dorm and there's plenty other beds in other rooms but NO, they just HAVE TO be here for some reason (obviously because Zombie doesn't care about anything and the other resident of the room AKA me doesn't count ). Anyway I was eating my sandwich when she brought them in. So the manager goes on again telling me to eat in the kitchen and how she TOLD me already etc etc etc. And those chicks started to look at me like I'm some kinda criminal because of that. Breaking the rules AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG!!!! And then I actually kinda started to feel like a criminal because I had to finish my little sandwich in secret when the manager wasn't in (but the door was open) grab a bite and hide. WHAT THE FRELL!!!!

AND the chick who took the top bunk above me just tossed her huge heavy backpack on the bed and it just had to be like right above my head and the bed hit me in the head. I hate everybody. I just wanna cry

[Bether6074]

Sigh. Hate is such a strong word. I hope you can find some peace and happiness in your heart, T'Poptarts. Then maybe one day you'll be able to see the good in others. I know...old lady lecturing again.

I hate to do so much whining, but my internet chatting friend doesn't seem to be around right now. It's been a rough week to say the least. I was cleaning the dishes in the kitchen this AM and heard a thud from the other room. I went out to investigate and found my father in the middle of the floor on his back. He wasn't responding, his eyes were rolled in the back of his head...you get the picture. Had to call 911. Spent all day in the hospital with him. He seems to be okay...apparently something from his meds made him faint and he hit his head pretty good. Scared me, that's for sure. And to top it all off, I had to drive in the big city to get to him. Lots of anxiety today. But I did what I needed to do to help him and somehow I survived (and made it home). I'm going to take a trip to youtube and listen to soothing music. Me, Josh Groban, and a little time to de-stress and be thankful for all the people that I love and have loved, even those who are no longer here or are no longer a part of my life.

[blacknblue]

You have to recharge your batteries or you will burn out and be no good to anyone. Rest. I am glad your Dad is better.

[TPoptarts]

That's scary Bether I'm glad your dad's okay