The Whine thread.

[WarpGirl]

"Tired of Living and scared of Dying"

And old man river he just keeps rolling along! OK sorry had too, great song.

I'm not afraid of dying. And I don't believe I am going to heaven or hell. It's just not something I'm scared of. Maybe it's because I've been near death so many times that it's not the worst thing that could happen. But I tell ya, living is a gift, and I intend to do everything reasonable to keep alive. There are things I wanna do.

[panyasan]

I had a period in my life when I drank heavily. Thankfully I had friends who kicked my arse into a mental clinic, where my clinical depression was diagnosed and properly taken care off.

Well, I am glad you have friends who were friends enough to kick you in the right direction. As for the horse riding: it's never too late to learn something new and enjoy it.

[Misplaced]

It's ironic that this discussion is going on. I had an extremely vivid dream last night that I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer -- and it was so late that they couldn't even tell where it had started since it was throughout my body. I knew I was dying. And I was surprised at how I felt. I wasn't scared of dying. I didn't rail against the disease for taking my life. I didn't feel robbed. I felt sad -- but for my husband and my children, not for myself. Mostly I just felt peace and gratitude. I was grateful for the life I got to live. The only real quasi-negative feeling I had (if that) was this thought: "I thought I had more time."

I cried for a half hour when I woke up, it was so real. I'm so grateful it was just a dream. I wondered if this was how it was for my wonderful mother-in-law, who we lost to the disease 11 years ago.

Don't be surprised if this shows up in a fic! (I'm still a bit weepy over it.)

[aadarshinah]

SB, it's not that I feel immortal... it's just... (and maybe this sounds incredibly morbid), I dunno, some deep seated feeling that I would never live to be old. I don't even know if that makes sense, but it's just one of those things that maybe all people under a certain age feel, but it's kinda like... oh, I dunno, none of the really adult things in life interest me. I doubt I'll ever get married or have a family and so, in a sense, everything I've really ever wanted to accomplish, sans job, really never required growing that old....

And, looking back over this, I still don't know if it makes sense. But that's kinda how I feel.

[WarpGirl]

Well two years ago I was very close to not living another year, and frankly all I could think of was... "Well for someone who should have died at birth, been severly retarted, never able to speak or reason, or walk or move. I've done pretty damn good." It still applies if I die tomorrow, but that said I wanna live.

[Kotik]

SB, it's not that I feel immortal... it's just... (and maybe this sounds incredibly morbid), I dunno, some deep seated feeling that I would never live to be old. I don't even know if that makes sense, but it's just one of those things that maybe all people under a certain age feel, but it's kinda like... oh, I dunno, none of the really adult things in life interest me. I doubt I'll ever get married or have a family and so, in a sense, everything I've really ever wanted to accomplish, sans job, really never required growing that old....

And, looking back over this, I still don't know if it makes sense. But that's kinda how I feel.

It's actually a pretty real feeling. I had the great fortune of knowing both my great-grandparents. My great-grandmother died age 87 when I was 16 (she had Alzheimers desease) and my great-grandfather died age 94 when I was 24. Both lived an incredible life. Gramps used to ride his bicycle to the next town to do the shopping until he was 88. And the only thing that stopped him was gramma's death. Whe she was gone, he became dement in a matter of 3 months, he never got past the death of his wife of over 60 years Both were active until their late 80's, with all the age-related problems, but still able to enjoy their life. I know for a fact, that Gramma smoked my mother in a foot-race when she was 67 (!!!). The thing that shocked the raw crap outta me was seeing her fall victim to Alzheimer and seeing gramps fall apart after she was gone. I never wanna be helpless like that. It scares me much more than actually dying.
We had this new law introduced a couple years back. It says that one can write a will for the case that one is incapacitated (comatose). Mine says to switch off any life-prolonging machines if there's no reasonable chance of full recovery, I'd rather die in some sort of grace, rather than being a dribbling vegetable for years only to die anyways.

[enterprikayak]

Hey, that's always a shock. Who the hell put the wrinkles and age spots on that lady in the mirror? WTF is that about???

My 76-year-old great aunt once told me that inside she never felt she was really a day over 16.

I'm still 8.

[WarpGirl]

8 is a good age to be. Unfortunately, I was never 8. The family says I'm closer to 30 mentally. Now I'm rapidly approaching literally.

[Silverbullet]

aardarshinah, never say never. (gonna put that in one of my stories to have Soval say because he finally has larned what it means.) You don't know what lies in the future. You are very young. You might meet a person that you know you can spend the rest of your life with sooner or later.

Hell, I didn't think I would make it past 35 and then not past 60. Wrong on both counts. don't belive it is unusual for some to think that way.

If you are bored take up skydiving without a parachute.

You are too young to sound as if you are giving up. I like WG's attitude. She is going to give it her best shot. She has been dealt a lousy hand but is going to play it for all she is worth. MY hat is off to her.

But you have been given many gifts. Your hand is pretty good so play it for all you are worth too.

[aadarshinah]

I'm not giving up, I'm just expressing an opinion that I probably won't ever marry. I've a hard enough time sustaining relationships with my immediate family. My mother, in all seriousness, says that the only people I could sustain a relationship with are Vulcans and Androids... But oh well. I've been proven wrong in the past, and so has she.

All I know is, life is life. It kinda happens. I don't really expect much from it.

[WarpGirl]

Don't worry, probably the only people who could put up with me are Klingons or Andorians.... That said, life does happen whether you want it too or not.

[Elessar]

I've felt 40 since I was 10

[Silverbullet]

Life happens but what we do with it is what makes the difference.

I cannot see how people who have what would be called a good shot at life, advantages, etc can ruin it by putting drugs in to thier bodies and wind up in the gutter. But it happens.

I can't see how people can let the bottle beat them but lots do. Or piss way evey cent they can lay thier hands on in to a slot machine but compulsive gamblers do.

Succcess takes work, dedication. sometimes to the exclusion to all else.

But life doesn't just need to happpen. You have some control by trying.

I had the parents from Hell. Really dysfuntional family. but my life turned out fairly well.

[honeybee]

aadarshinah, you can be happy whether you get married or whether you don't! I have never married by choice, not for lack of opportunity. It's because I happen to be a rare person that likes to live alone. My mom and dad have both said that they found it peculiar when I was growing up how I could entertain myself by myself. So, if you've got the right personality - happily ever after can be by yourself - with the occasional significant other thrown in because love is wonderful!

But, you should act from what you want - not what you fear you can't have! Plenty of people with dysfunctional backgrounds end up with great lives, one way or another.

[Alelou]

I'm not giving up, I'm just expressing an opinion that I probably won't ever marry. I've a hard enough time sustaining relationships with my immediate family. My mother, in all seriousness, says that the only people I could sustain a relationship with are Vulcans and Androids... But oh well. I've been proven wrong in the past, and so has she.

All I know is, life is life. It kinda happens. I don't really expect much from it.

Maybe I'm out of line here, but I suspect that getting freakin' weird remarks like that from your parents all your life can cause that.