Kirk Vs Picard on Fanlib.com

[Rigil Kent]

So, cliched scenarios, huh? The -1701 (during the 5 year run) stumbles across the godlike alien of the week, and said GAotW tries to impress Kirk with its amazing godlike powers (unaware of the fact that Kirk ... can'tbe ... impressed!) Thus, GAotW summons forth Picard from the future, unwittingly interfering with the latest Q incident. Naturally, this infuriates Q and the two nigh-omnipotent aliens decide that they will delegate their discussion to proxies ... hence, a battle between Kirk and Picard. Now, naturally, both captains try to talk their way out of this, but Kirk gives up much sooner than Picard and attacks! Cue groovy TOS combat music! Kirk gets his shirt ripped while he beats up on the British-sounding Frenchman. Sulking at his defeat, Q rewrites history so that Kirk dies ignominiously instead of on the bridge of his ship fighting hordes of Klingons like he's supposed to...

Damn. Couldn't find a way to work in the holodeck...

[enterprikayak]

You need a Vulcan mindmeld also. Allllll good cliched Trek has a mindmeld or two.

[Rigil Kent]

Well, I guess we could have ... heh ... just had a funny idea...

Addendum: Since Kirk never beams down alone, he's got Spock, McCoy and Ensign ... Smith, with him. Picard had Data, Dr. Crusher, and Worf. Once the mess starts, Spock tries to meld with Data, Kirk seduces Crusher, Smith gets killed when Worf looks at him funny, and McCoy grumbles about being a doctor not a magician.

Better?

[CoffeeCat]

^ At least your scenario keeps them in Character.

[Rigil Kent]

I ... supposeyou ... have a ... reallygoodpoint ... CoffeeCat...

[CX]

Picard was like the teacher in a college classroom. He delegated and guided...and then stepped back and let everyone else do the work. Kirk stepped in and got his hands dirty... and usually shredded his shirt. The quartermaster must've really LOVED it when he went on an away mission. "Great... Time to put in another order for gold shirts!"

Effective leaders do deligate. To be brutally honest, Kirk didn't delegate, and I see that as a flaw in his character the same as I do with Archer for doing the same thing. Picard's problem was more the writer's problem in that they always gave Picard time to hold conferances all the time. But as Patton said, you nver tell someone how to do something, you tell them what needs to get done and they will amaze you with their inginuity.

[Distracted]

Hey, I never said delegation was a bad thing. I liked Picard.

[enterprikayak]

if he makes out with crusher, she's going to inevitably be destroyed in some sort of timetravel accident that casts her irretrievably out of his reach for ever.

Mind melding with Spock helps him through a rough spot of insomnia following this. Spock suggests they try his great-grandma T'Pol's neuropressure techniques....

[evcake]

you're evil.

[CoffeeCat]

if he makes out with crusher, she's going to inevitably be destroyed in some sort of timetravel accident that casts her irretrievably out of his reach for ever.

Mind melding with Spock helps him through a rough spot of insomnia following this. Spock suggests they try his great-grandma T'Pol's neuropressure techniques....

At least "Grandma" - Sarek was actually born only 1 year after Trip faked his death and was genectically altered to pass as a Vulcan. He changed his name to Skon...

[Distracted]

My entry's up. The criteria were unbelievably rigid. They basically outlined the story for us and we were told to dress it up a bit, but we had to do it in SCREENPLAY format (something I'd never done before in my life) and in 7500 characters or less INCLUDING SPACES. They actually have the submission software set up so it's impossible to submit anything longer. If it seems to resemble all of the other entries too much, that's why. The only originality permitted was in dialogue characterization and in the ancillary characters you managed to sneak in within the size limits of the entry. This was probabably the most difficult "fanfic" I've ever written, and I'm far from satisfied with it, but I did my best. BTW...based on the discussion section of the contest site, there are some professional screenwriters participating. Great.

Comments and constructive criticism would be welcome, most especially from any of you that know anything about screenplays.

From Time to Time

[CoffeeCat]

Didn't even look at the rules yet, but...

SCREENPLAY FORMAT ???

Ack. I hate writing in screenplay format. Pretty demanding for half assed plot idea.

In other words: if i feel like smegging around with it later, they might get a submission from me.

That screenplay sh*t plus the TOS of the website makes me rather suspicious of their intent.

[JadziaKathryn]

Frankly, I can't be bothered to spend my time and (lately sparse) creative energy on this. Nonetheless, I like what you've done with it. You've managed some good narrative-type details within the restrictive format.

[blacknblue]

Given the ludicrously tight constraints they forced on you, the story you produced was exceptional.

[TPoptarts]

Hopefully I'll get to actually finish my entry in time... and let's just say my imagination is too wild to be suppressed like Vulcan emotions by an over-restrictive plot outline. You close the door, you open a hell of a lot of windows.

Distracted I'm familiar with screenplay format, I haven't had the time to read your entry yet but just from scanning it I think you did a good job on the format, except that lines that the characters say aren't supposed to have like a paragraph break between them or between the lines and the character's name, only a line break (shift+enter) so like what you wrote

KIRK (V.O.)

Captain's Log: Stardate 5934.4

The Enterprise has been given authority by the Federation Council to break its imposed quarantine and investigate reports of space-time anomalies near a planetary system we discovered two years ago. At least three ships have violated the quarantine and have been reported missing.

should actually look like this

KIRK (V.O.)
Captain's Log: Stardate 5934.4
The Enterprise has been given authority by the Federation Council to break its imposed quarantine and investigate reports of space-time anomalies near a planetary system we discovered two years ago. At least three ships have violated the quarantine and have been reported missing.

Because otherwise it's harder to tell (I mean just from formatting) what's the "descriptive" part of the script and what's lines. Well actually lines are really supposed to be like indented and stuff, but you can't indent in FanLib

I think I like writing screenplay format better because that way I can just use my usual words that I would use to describe stuff in real life. I can write prose format but prose just like totally weirds me out coming out of me, I don't know because I don't really talk like that. I mean it's not like hard for me to write something in prose but what's hard for me is to bring myself to do that because to me it sounds like totally weird when it's something I write the only "prose" I ever wrote was my "Family, Take 2" fic that intentionally isn't on the descriptive side and is like 99% dialog. And well the "Endurance" microfic thingy which thankfully had to be too short for actual good descriptive prose oh and my Pegasus/*the_abomination* parody installment which was a struggle because it was painful just to write all that weird sounding prose stuff could have done better (prose-wise) but I was just constantly going like "WHUT??!! Why the frell would anyone use a sentence like that?!?!"