Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Kevin Thomas Riley » Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:40 pm

To expand on the above. I'm now about halfway into the first season. I went crazy over the weekend and had just planned on watching Broken Bow but then I just kept watching. It's been a while since last time.

Anyway, the makeup goofs are pretty noticeable on blu-ray. You can see the seams on Phlox for example. But by far the worst is the Andorians. The blue hue is spotty and uneven, and you can see the pink shining through (which makes Shran's inslut of "pink skins" hilarious). I do hope it gets better later on. :shran:
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby putaro » Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:40 am

Well, I was going to catch another episode before leaving on vacation but the server with my video library on it decided it wanted a vacation too so it's going to be a couple of weeks before I get back and have some time to fix it.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby putaro » Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:38 pm

OK, it's awfully quiet around here. We had a nice vacation, I fixed my video library and found the time to watch another episode. And this time it's Terra Nova. Hey, wasn't that a TV series??

We start with Travis and Hoshi looking up data on Terra Nova. Using the iPad built into the helm. Apparently Enterprise was designed by Tesla Motors. Don't they have a better place to do research? You're not supposed to use the thing when the vehicle is moving, you know?

Next, T'Pol, Archer and Trip are eating and discussing the lost colony of Terra Nova. After delivering a good burn to Trip T'Pol expresses her faith in human resourcefulness and how it is probable that someone survived.

And so down to Terra Nova but the colony is deserted and has somewhat high radiation levels. Malcolm finds someone in the forest and goes chasing after and is led to a cave. The person he was chasing doesn't look quite Human but, ooh, radiation. OK, are we going to come up with a good twist or not…

And we're down in the cave and found some utensils and people with lots of mud on their faces. Phasers to stun! But the natives have guns too! Malcolm and Archer are running through the cave but are too stupid to use a tricorder by themselves so they have to call T'Pol to use one and tell them where to turn. And now Malcolm gets shot and captured and Archer and Company take off leaving him behind. Back to the ship and suddenly they can find biosigns even though they couldn't find any before.

The crew tries to find Malcolm, Archer has a tantrum and then Phlox and Archer go down to find Malcolm. Archer tries to communicate with the locals and raises his arms. Phlox gives him his best "what the hell are you doing" look before following along. They get taken into the caves, reunited with Malcolm, told to leave, yada yada yada.

Now it's time for the old woman to give a speech in Novan pidgin about how Humans did bad things to them. Archer makes a speech, someone says he "speaks in shale". Apparently living underground has turned them all into the Flintstones. Where's Mr Slate?

The old woman has lung cancer, Phlox can fix her if he takes her back to the "skyship." Malcolm has to stay behind as a hostage but he thinks one of the boys here is cute so it's all fine.

Back on Enterprise and we're arguing with the "Novans", Mom wants out of the tube and T'Pol has determined that the colony was destroyed by a radioactive asteroid.

Back to the cave and Malcolm is flirting with his guard. And an impromptu concert on ocarinas,

Meanwhile, on Enterprise, Hoshi has found the last transmission from the colony where we find that the colony thought the meteor was an attack. And we have some not very profound analysis from Archer that the reason the "Novans" hate "Humans" is because their parents died and said that "Humans" killed them. But who refers to people as "Humans"? Wouldn't they have said that "Earth" attacked them?

OK, Phlox has treated the old woman but the water supply underground is bad for them. However, the Novans aren't buying. Why does everyone always talk like the people in Mad Max? Mad Max isn't any fun without Master Blaster, though. Or at least Tina Turner.

Archer wants to evacuate everyone but nobody wants to go so he has a bitchfest with T'Pol. Not like there's any real rush but he has to get everything done now. T'Pol's answer is easy, stun 'em all and let God sort them out. But noooo, says Archer, we have to convince them.

Back to surface, in the shuttle pod, they land, the shuttle pod crashes into the tunnels and someone is stuck at the bottom of a well under a tree. Are you sure about that Lassie? Archer goes down to help the guy and do some bonding with the chief over phase pistoling the tree.

So the Novans let Enterprise relocate them to another part of the planet that's not contaminated and everyone's happy.

Sorry, this episode was boring. The mystery was not very mysterious, the new characters weren't engaging, the other characters didn't have any personal growth, nothing happened with the Suliban. So what was the reason for this episode?

Next time at least we have Andorians chewing the scenery.
Last edited by putaro on Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Alelou » Thu Apr 17, 2014 6:35 pm

I laughed out loud over the Malcolm flirting section.

My favorite part of this episode is the little concert, and honestly that's about it. At least it generated some nice gaffes for the blooper reel.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Eireann » Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:36 pm

Has to be one of the episodes where the fan base started to get discouraged... dreadfully forgettable I'm afraid.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby putaro » Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:03 pm

Again, I'm surprised because this is episode 5 (or 6 if you count Broken Bow as 2) but it comes across as something that was written by a team that's completely out of ideas. This episode was written by Berman and Braga and perhaps they were just burnt out on Star Trek by that time. It's a pity. There are lots of ways the episode could have been spiffed up with the same basic plot to make a much better episode. Just getting the clay off one of the Novans and showing them side by side with the Enterprise crew in a mirror would have been pretty powerful. Some snappier dialog between the main cast and doing a bit more to NOT show the Enterprise crew as complete idiots with T'Pol the only sane one amongst them.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby panyasan » Tue Apr 22, 2014 6:36 pm

Actually, I remember thinking during this episode "What a bad acting". In that way it made an impression on me.

Nice reviews, Putaro!
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The Andorian Incident

Postby putaro » Thu May 08, 2014 6:17 pm

OK, we open with hooded Vulcan monks and a bunch of Andorians bust the door in. Love the wiggling antennae!

And as long as I'm being positive, let me say that I actually like the opening credits. I know a lot of people don't like "Faith of the Heart" as the theme song but I don't mind it and I love the montage they put together.

OK, Trip and Archer are looking at the Vulcan star charts. T'Pol comes in and Archer starts pumping her for data on P'Jem. Alright, road trip!

T'Pol and Phlox are sharing a table in the mess and discussing T'Pol's misgiving about showing up at P'Jem with the Skipper and Gilligan in tow. Phlox nearly loses a hand when he starts stealing celery off her plate. Come on Doctor, she only had about a hundred calories on that plate. She needs all of it! Phlox tries to draw a parallel between Infinte Diversity in Infinite Combination and Enterprise's mission to Seek Out New Worlds and New Civilizations and Annoy the Bejeezus Out of Them but T'Pol's not buying. Or she's contemplating how to open Phlox up and retrieve that celery stick.

P'Jem does not have a telephone so they're just going to go down and ring the doorbell! T'Pol gives a briefing which is similar to the ones I give the kids before we go into a shop but she does skip "Look with your eyes, not your hands". How about, "Don't expose secret Vulcan bases" - oops, getting ahead of myself here.

No answer to the doorbell (which looks and sounds a lot like the prayer bells at a Shinto shrine). The monk inside informs them that they have arrived at the time of Kohlinar and can't come in. Oh, and we gave at the office. T'Pol requests the offering of the Jakah stone and while the monk is off getting it she observes that all the bric-a has been severely bracca'd.

Suspicions aroused, Archer noses around long enough to find our crouching AND hidden Andorian and just when they're ready to give him an atomic wedgie all of his buddies show up.

And we get the first of many "pinkskin"s out of Shran. As KTR observed, the Andorian makeup does not come off well in HD and does add to the hilarity of "pinkskin".

Some exposition on the Andorians and some bare-faced lying about spy bases.

Back on Enterprise Malcolm is getting a little antsy about them not checking in and the presence of another ship on the ground. He's also getting all pissy about the shuttle not noticing the Andorian ship and going on about how procedure needs to be changed. But hey, Mr. Pip Pip Cheerio, why didn't you scan before they went down if you think it's such a great idea? Hoshi thinks everything is fine and the jump cut from her to Archer getting slapped around is quite good. Some people pay to get smacked around by guys in leather so enjoy it while you're getting it Jon.

Andorian Intelligence is pretty poor if these guys haven't heard of Earth in the hundred years they've been hanging around with the Vulcans. I can't complain, though, I think it's more interesting when everyone doesn't know everything.

Archer's communicator goes off and earns him a beat down. Shran decides to take the call himself. Oh, and oops, we forgot about the language barrier, didn't we? That the monks could speak English is within the realm of possibility, but Shran sure shouldn't be able to. Oh well, down that path lies madness.

T'Pol and the head monk are bonding about stinky Humans when the door pops open and Archer gets chucked in. For some reason Archer wants to prevent Malcolm from coming down with a heavily armed landing party. Sounds to me like that's the best thing that could happen.

But the monks have an old transmitter tucked away somewhere. Bet there's an iPod hidden in every room too. Shifty monk breaks out the tiki torches and we're off to the catacombs! Shifty monk brings Trip to the transmitter and Trip shows his knowledge of bafflegab by instantly identifying the acrylide power cell. Which is probably deader than a door nail which begs the question of how they're going to power this thing given that the monastery doesn't appear to have electricity.

And cut to Andorians with flashlights doing a bed check. They leave and Trip's working so hard on the transmitter that he doesn't need a blankie. T'Pol's cold but she doesn't want to share a blankie with stinky Archer. However, Archer is very persuasive!

One thing I like about this episode is that Archer and T'Pol are clueless about what's really going on at this point. Although they have differing viewpoints, they are both trying to do what they think is best for both Earth and Vulcan. This is one of the first times in the series that we see Archer showing some concern for Vulcan interests

Trip has managed to funky up a transmitter and fills in Malcolm, basically telling him to sit tight. Next morning they're making maps on the tatami with some go pieces. Archer gets Shran to take him off by himself and starts mouthing off and gets himself another beat-down. Hmmm…beatings from a little blue man in black leather. Farscape has been described as "the story of one American getting swept up in Australia's bondage scene" - looks like Enterprise wanted to get in on some of that action too. Oh, and all this was so Archer could put something in the big face's mouth to find out if it goes where they think it goes. I'm sure there's a way he could have done it without the bruises but then no one has ever accused Archer of being smart.

Oh, my mistake, they must have told Malcolm to come down with some goons - via the transporter! There's now about fifty Vulcans, five Humans (armed) and four Andorians. Maybe it's time to quite sneaking around and just stun them already. Well, at least Malcolm gets to blow something up it looks like. Andorian number three is trying to flirt with T'Pol and offers to kill Archer for her. Just when it looks like she might take him up on the offer, Malcolm blows a nice big hole in the ancient monastery and it's time for some Enterprise rock'em sock'em. Element of surprise and all, Malcolm and his men can't manage to put down three Andorians. Maybe they knew what they were doing when they avoided the stand-up fight.

We get some Vulcan head monk disapproval of all the violence which he voices to Archer. I guess the Andorians didn't have anything to do with it. OK, we got two Vulcans and four Humans chasing down two Andorians. Shifty monk tries to stop Archer from going into the reliquary but Archer's going in anyway and they have a fun fire fight. And find the secret hatch. Is Desmond inside? Oh, no it's the hatch to the secret underground listening post. Full of Vulcans, not one of whom notices that a whole gaggle of aliens has come through the door. Shifty monk gets the drop on Archer but Archer is able to drop him with one swing across the jaw. They send Shran and the Andorians (what a great band name!) off with the info on the listening post and fade to that annoying end theme music.

While not a perfect episode, this one is pretty good. This should have been Episode 2. Shran was the break-out character of the show and it's a pity we didn't get season five with him as a regular. Or maybe not, because a little Shran can go a long ways. We get a glimpse of the Vulcan duplicity that's going on regularly and we also see that both Archer and T'Pol are idealists, believing in their cultures as they're presented, not as they are. If all the episodes had been of this quality I think fans would have been much happier with the series.
Last edited by putaro on Fri May 09, 2014 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Cogito » Fri May 09, 2014 12:52 am

:)

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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Alelou » Fri May 09, 2014 2:10 am

Can't disagree with any of this. Yup, yup, yup.

I think this ep also marks the first time Trip gets laid out. That boy really should have been drooling from traumatic brain injuries by the end of the first season or two.
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Re: The Andorian Incident

Postby panyasan » Sat May 10, 2014 6:51 am

putaro wrote:No answer to the doorbell (which looks and sounds a lot like the prayer bells at a Shinto shrine).


LOL I thought the same thing.

putaro wrote:While not a perfect episode, this one is pretty good. This should have been Episode 2. Shran was the break-out character of the show and it's a pity we didn't get season five with him as a regular. Or maybe not, because a little Shran can go a long ways. We get a glimpse of the Vulcan duplicity that's going on regularly and we also see that both Archer and T'Pol are idealists, believing in their cultures as they're presented, not as they are. If all the episodes had been of this quality I think fans would have been much happier with the series.


I couldn't agree more. There are a lot of plot holes, but it's an episode that keeps your attention and the interaction between several characters is very nice. All the characters are play a part, are strong and not just Archer. You also get the beginning of Archers's friendship with Shran, which seems over time develops more than his old friendship with Trip.
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Cap'n Frances » Sat May 10, 2014 10:18 pm

Alelou wrote:
I think this ep also marks the first time Trip gets laid out. That boy really should have been drooling from traumatic brain injuries by the end of the first season or two.


I guess the treatment of traumatic brain injuries must have advanced a lot. I work with TBI patients; I wince a little when I see the amount of head trauma on the show and in fan fiction.

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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Cogito » Sun May 11, 2014 2:00 am

Alelou wrote:I think this ep also marks the first time Trip gets laid


For just a moment there, I was wondering whether the science officer had found an alternate source of shared bodily warmth ...
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Re: Putaro's Enterprise Rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest

Postby Alelou » Sun May 11, 2014 9:56 pm

When was the first time we saw Trip get some? I really need to watch this show over again. I have to watch all the Vulcan ones over again anyway because I just can't remember my Koss and Forge details well enough.

Cap'n Frances, God bless you for doing that work. It must be rough. One of my students this semester had worked with patients like that for awhile and she did her research paper arguing in favor of assisted suicide. I think it really traumatized her seeing how difficult life can be for TBI patients and their families.
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Breaking the Ice

Postby putaro » Sun May 18, 2014 4:22 pm

Trip and Phlox are in the galley going over some pictures from school kids back home. T'Pol makes the mistake of saying something almost complimentary about the drawings and is now required to take one with her. She doesn't even have a fridge in her quarters, give her a break guys! The drawings actually look like they were made by children, so +1 for that. The tentacle monster isn't cutting it so Trip finds a Vulcan portrait (crayon on construction paper, I'm opening the bidding at $.10) and T'Pol is saved by the tour guide…ahem..Captain…on the loud speaker announcing that they've found a comet. Scientifically speaking, they're not exactly rare and you won't get a tail unless you're pretty close to a star, about the orbit of Jupiter. OK, sorry, back to our Trek science…Archer seems to think this is the largest comet ever seen by Humans, so it is special, so there.

T'Pol has some squiggles from home to look at in her cabin and we cut to Trip in the galley snagging some pecan pie and milk. T'Pol comes in and informs us that Vulcans are not affected by caffeine. We get some TnT flirting going here. T'Pol has her disturbing letter on a PADD apparently and manages to elicit some sympathy from Trip while continuing to be mysterious.

OK, and now T'Pol's excited about the comet because it's full of balonium (I couldn't figure out how to spell what she was calling it) and everyone's ready for a road trip to the comet. And we have a ship full of Vulcans to annoy Archer show up. I guess their sensors aren't very good because they should be all excited about the balonium too.

Archer is upset that the Vulcans have been showing up all over the place. And I finished my beer already - BRB. OK, gotta move this along. Malcolm and Travis are off to the comet and Malcolm seems a little too excited about spending some time alone with Travis.

Spacesuit time. And the standard Hollywood internally lighted helmets - probably not very good for actual use. Back on Enterprise, Trip has found an encrypted transmission that went straight to T'Pol from the Vulcans.

Now, Archer is making videos for school kids back on Earth (in Ireland!). Chef can make anything "from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to a turkey with all the trimmings"?? Man, Chef is going to tear Archer a new one when he hears that. How about some actually challenging foods? Ooh, and here's some fodder - "Is dating allowed?" "Well, it's not discouraged, but there isn't a lot of privacy on a starship. Most of our crew share quarters with at least one other person, so it wouldn't exactly be practical. But if two crewmembers decide that they really like each other there are a lot of places they can go to look at the stars." So Starfleet has not discovered the hanger on the door system? Guess without doorknobs that one doesn't work so well. Sounds like a green light for TnT :-).

Trip is not happy with his "poop question" - and according to Trip, recycling of "waste" goes into boots and cargo containers. Must be a whole shipload of Imelda Marcoses to handle all the boots that the recycler would be pumping out.

Back on the comet, Travis has made a snowman. And Malcolm and Travis are on NSA-vision, with a fine view back on Enterprise of their hijinks and Archer reminds them the Vulcans are probably watching too. Good thing they didn't put any ears on that snowman.

Hoshi has decrypted T'Pol's message but didn't read it, passing the buck to Trip to open her mail. Which, of course, is the letter about coming back to Vulcan to get married or else. And Trip is upset that the Vulcans encrypted her personal mail forcing him and Hoshi to decrypt. Must be a whole planet of tinfoil hat wearing crypto-hippies - though they could get some better ciphers. Just sayin'

Alright, having read T'Pol's personal letter, Trip is determined to tell T'Pol that he read it. T'Pol is not cutting him any slack as he tries to apologize for reading her mail. And we get T'Pol all getting up in Trip's face. Just kiss her already! Oh, sorry, we have to wait another two seasons for that…

Archer is planning dinner with Vanik and wants wine suggestions from T'Pol. Just put some carrots on a plate with a glass of water and be done with it already.

Now, T'Pol is visiting Phlox about her tension headache and lack of sleep. Take two hyposprays and see me in the morning…

Back on the comet Malcolm is ready to block something up and does.

Now is it My Dinner with Vanik. Vanik is not hungry because he ate before he came to dinner. Should have put some bacon on his plate - everyone loves bacon! After a rather testy exchange between Archer and Vanik, Vanik says something in Vulcan that is not well received by T'Pol and exits, stage left.

Archer calls Reed up to teach him how to suck eggs, ummm…position the camp so it doesn't get crispified by the sun. Thanks Dad!

Trip is making his first visit to T'Pol's quarters. He has to twit her about her lit candles and she explains that it's allowed because…meditation - yah, that's the ticket. So T'Pol wants some advice on her wedding plans. Trip has some difficulties understand the concept of "arranged marriage" - I guess he doesn't get out a lot. T'Pol feels duty-bound to go home but Trip argues she should do what she wants. We end up with a typically annoyed Vulcan.

OK and back to the comet, where Travis manages to fall in a hole. Except, ummm, the comet is maybe a couple of miles across and would have gravity measured in microgees. Their main problem would be not floating off into space, not falling.

After a commercial break, Malcolm and Travis make it back to the shuttlepod and try to head back to Enterprise but fall through the ice and get stuck somewhere. And now Archer is going to show off his hot piloting skills as Enterprise heads down to retrieve the shuttlepod with the grappler. Archer and T'Pol have a pissing contest about grappler versus Vanik's tractor beam but Archer eventually gives in and has Vanik rescue the shuttlepod.

We wrap up with T'Pol going to tell Koss to kiss off and she has a slice of pecan pie instead of getting married. Foreshadowing?

Science-wise, this episode gets a big F. It's not terribly exciting, Archer and crew are idiots as usual but the TnT interactions do help. I'd rate it as OK overall.
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