Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay

[justTripn]

Here is my favorite:

"He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."

http://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_fun_ ... ogies.html

There are a couple extras in this list:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/AYas21/ww ... logies.htm

[Cogito]

[Kotik]

Here is my favorite:

"He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."

http://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_fun_ ... ogies.html

There are a couple extras in this list:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/AYas21/ww ... logies.htm

LOL, what the hell How in the name of all that's holy have you guys survived since 1776

"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30."

How do these people find their way home without help

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

How romantic!

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

Do I smell irony?

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man'."

That's actually rather clever!

[justTripn]

I know. Some of these are so bad, they are really good. I also suspect ironic genius behind some of these.

[Kotik]

Hell, I just came bvack from the pub. I had 25 beer and it still deóesn't make semnse to me

[Snorpenbass]

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

Do I smell irony?

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man'."

That's actually rather clever!

...sometimes I think people nominate pieces of prose that they personally just didn't get the joke on. These two are pretty obviously *meant* to be funny.

It's much like those Hollywood executives who, when faced with Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's pitch for a movie version of their novel "Good Omens" asked if Death had to be so...Death-y. Some people actually do read "A Modest Proposal" with growing horror about how the writer is apparently suggesting that people should eat the babies of the poor...

[Kotik]

...sometimes I think people nominate pieces of prose that they personally just didn't get the joke on. These two are pretty obviously *meant* to be funny.

Oh damn! I'm getting too old for a good ol' fashioned pub crawl . Well looking at those soberly still leaves me with the "second tall man" thing as the only one that I'd call clever. Most of them are just epicly bad