So I wanna high five from all o' y'alls

[WarpGirl]

They were in his house.

[Silverbullet]

She could just be visiting a friend. An innocent platonic visit. Hell you would have the landscape filled with bodies by suspicious husbands killing innocent men.

SB

[WarpGirl]

Hence why they want to change the law. Not that anyone had taken advantage of it in over 100 years. But this someone did. In his legal defense, he did have evidence of adultry lots of it. However like I said I'm not advocating this. I just understand the emotions behind it. My brother's ex-wife comitted bigamy. And other relatives have cheated or been cheated on. I have very little tolorence for people who cheat.

[enterprikayak]

I have very little tolorence for people who cheat.

↑ True story.

[WarpGirl]

Oh I'd cheerfully kill my ex-sister-in-law if she dared showed her face in the state again. But I'm not proud of that.

[Distracted]

And yet, some women (and rarely men, in my experience) are able to forgive their spouses for cheating and stay married to them. Sometimes multiple times. I think that given the right circumstances I would probably be able to forgive my spouse once. Dunno if I could do it more than once. Once might just be stupid or drunk. More than once is a habit that I don't think I could tolerate. Too risky. I know too much about all the crap I could catch that way.

My husband, on the other hand, is like you, WG. He's flat out told me that even though he loves me more than anyone on the planet, if I ever cheated on him our marriage would be over. Not that I'd ever do something like that, mind you. But I really think men are hardwired to be more intolerant of infidelity in their partners than women are. At the same time they are more likely to expect to be forgiven if they stray. I guess it could be cultural rather than biologic, but it seems to me that the attitude is an integral part of being male. Admittedly, my data is limited since my husband's my one and only partner ever. It could also just be him. He can be pretty rigid in matters of morality. It's one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place. You don't meet too many people these days who stick by their moral code without compromise.

[WarpGirl]

Oh I know people who can and do forgive their spouses. And I applaud them (I never claimed to be a wonderful person) they should be held up as role models. And I can't say with certainty that there are absolutely no circumstances where I might be induced to forgive a cheating partner. That said, knowing myself, and my nasty flaws I highly doubt I could. To anyone who can and has, you are better people than I could ever hope to be.

[Elessar]

Well, you can have one from me if you insist!

[enterprikayak]

Thanks!

[panyasan]

Hi dear, just wanted to say you moved on with courage and optismism, Ek. After a time that no doubt has to been hurtfull (I think cheating is the most painfull, foolish thing to do to your partner and it's sure destroys a marriage), you seem to stay positive and trying to make the best of it. Big hug for you.

[justTripn]

Silverbullet, we're going to keep this discussion rated PG. You strayed into PG-13. Not to mention, this isn't a discussion. It's a high-fives for ek.

[Distracted]

Oops. Sorry. I think I started it. Shame on me.

Hugs for EK. Hang in there, sweetie. You're an awesome woman.

Reproving finger shakes for Priso. Get your act together, dude! She's an amazing woman and the mother of your children! (But you get a supportive hug, too, just because I'm inspired by EK's attitude. You can do it! You can change! )

You guys are blowing my mind with your peaceful coexistence philosophy. If only the rest of the world could be so forgiving.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

Oh my, this is quite the surprise. You guys felt like an institution, eK....

Anyway, best of luck for the future!

[enterprikayak]

Our marriage WAS an institution! And now so is our DIVORCE! lol We're bantering back and forth over the idea of writing a book about our success in this field and going on a talk circuit. lol

[Distracted]

Somehow I don't see most people being able to learn to do what you two are doing, even after the expert seminar that I'm sure you two could deliver. It would require actually being best friends with the person you married. You'd be surprised how rare that is. At least, that's my opinion. If it weren't so rare we'd have a much lower divorce rate. Romantic love and physical desire wax and wane. Couples who like each other even when they don't feel like sleeping with each other are much more likely to stay together and get through the rough times. And when it doesn't work out, couples who are best friends are the only ones who can stay friends. I don't think most married couples are really friends. There's a difference, in my opinion, between loving someone in a romantic sense and being their best friend.