Calling All Cooks

Just what it says on the tin.

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enterprikayak
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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby enterprikayak » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:53 am

WarpGirl wrote:It looks awful but I bet it really tastes good.


Apparently not so. :lol:

click here to read the whole thing.

Here's most of it:
When I started looking through my recipe books, I knew I'd have to try this one. Surely, no one would dare to combine ham, mustard, bananas, and cheese into one oddly phallic appetizer unless it was secretly delicious, right? Surely the Homemakers Research Institute would not be so cruel!

What if Homemaker Sally is hosting a dinner party and her husband, Bill, wants to invite his boss? Sally turns to her trusty Mary Margaret McBride Encyclopedia of Cooking from the Homemakers Research Institute and selects the Ham Banana Rolls to impress her guests. She lovingly bakes them and sets one before each of the dinner guests.

The ladies from the church sewing group giggle into their napkins.

The boss' wife gasps in horror.

Bill's boss stares at his plate and has sudden, intrusive thoughts about Ken, the strapping new fellow who works in the mail room.

This gaffe has just cost Bill the promotion he was shooting for! There is nothing left for Sally and Bill except a slow spiral into Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf -style loathing and alcoholism! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, MARY MARGARET MCBRIDE! YOU ARE THE DESTROYER OF DREAMS!!!

[Ahem] Moving on...

This recipe tastes exactly how you suspect it might taste: like a warm, mushy banana that, for reasons only Mary Margaret McBride can fathom, has been wrapped in mustard-covered ham, and smothered in a congealed cheese sauce. I'm guessing that the effect the author of this recipe was hoping for was for the sweetness of the banana to be a counterpoint to the savoury ham-mustard-cheese combo. It misses the mark. The flavour of the banana overpowers everything else and the texture is mushy and unappealing. I wouldn't recommend the Ham Banana Rolls for any use other than novelty food at a bachelorette party for very drunk ladies with no tastebuds.

You have been warned.


:lol: she kinda reminds me of me. and she's a cda named jennifer from canada. but other than that we're 2 totoally separate people. We call each other "Other Jen".
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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby Alelou » Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:04 am

It's the kind of cookbook that looks like it was written solely to take advantage of color photography. It might also have been written by some underpaid editorial hack instead of an actual cook. (Was it by any chance in a series of cookbooks published by TimeLife?)
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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby WarpGirl » Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:06 am

Yeah well I'm allergic to bananas so I can't try it. :lol:
Some of these people haven't taken their medication. Let's see what happens now...
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And by people WG had herself in mind, but then the quote would have been ruined.
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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby crystalswolf » Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:18 pm

This recipe is very rich!!! Never realized how much butter and cream went into it until I made it.

This was in the most legible form of the recipe I've found: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 637AAY98r5

What I changed:
- chicken was from a previously baked whole bird cooked in rosemary-heavy Herbes de Provence & skin buttered
- ignored the morel mushrooms. Used baby portabellas (surprisingly almost the same price as reg. mushroom @ CostCo.) and chicken broth separately
- mushrooms and cooked chicken is diced very finely. Almost like a meal texture.
- says to reserve 1 cup of cooked mushrooms for pastry but the two cups reduced to 1 so that was all of it. I just took a tablespoon from the cup for the roux
- substituted gruyere cheese with 3 parts parmesan (Trader Joe's has reasonable, near-deli prices for blocks of parmesan) & 1 part cheddar (I put in a whole cup in the roux and half cup in the pastries
- says to layer mushroom mix onto chicken before cheese. I combine the chicken and the mushroom mix and separated the whole thing into 8 equal portions on a tray
- the sauce will be fine for a long time on very low heat. Will not burn, bubble or break. Just give it a stir whenever you think about it.
- the ready-made puff pastry may stick together if allowed to thaw folded in box. It may be best to allow to thaw partially, lay out on tray, cover with parchment, and allow to continue to thaw.
- not sure how to fold triangles. Not exactly spanakopita, so I guessed. They were ugly but very much like the restaurant's.

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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby WarpGirl » Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:37 pm

Thank you, thank you!
Some of these people haven't taken their medication. Let's see what happens now...
Donna Moss: The West Wing


And by people WG had herself in mind, but then the quote would have been ruined.
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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby crystalswolf » Sun Aug 22, 2010 9:01 pm

You're welcome :D

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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby evcake » Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:26 pm

Gonna make pico de gallo for the first time. Anybody got a favorite recipe?

Cabbage or not?
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It's flavored with passionfruit
an appropriate ingredient, don't you think?


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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby crystalswolf » Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:09 am

I've stopped measuring so I can't really give specific amounts. We could live on this stuff if we had tomatoes year-round!

1 part chopped cilantro
1 part diced peppers (bell for sweet or jalapeno for a kick)
1 part diced onion
1 part diced tomato
1 whole lime (some people like more, some like less)
1 clove minced garlic (optional)
salt to taste

Allow to sit in fridge for an hour or two.

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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby WarpGirl » Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:16 am

YUM! Ditch the onions add more hot peppers, and I could live on it too.
Some of these people haven't taken their medication. Let's see what happens now...
Donna Moss: The West Wing


And by people WG had herself in mind, but then the quote would have been ruined.
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May We Together Become Greater Than The Sum Of Us
*Rights,* Wrongs, and Choices

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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby evcake » Mon Aug 30, 2010 5:24 am

:D thanks! :D
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It's flavored with passionfruit
an appropriate ingredient, don't you think?


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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby evcake » Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:43 am

would it keep for a couple of days?
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It's flavored with passionfruit
an appropriate ingredient, don't you think?


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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby crystalswolf » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:35 am

You're welcome and yes. The lime preserves everything for a while and you can usually tell when it's ready to toss. The veggies will soften to the point where you think it's definitely on it's way to becoming a gazpacho some time around the third or fourth day. I think the change in texture comes before it actually goes bad, though, and also depends on how much lime you put in (slowly "cooks" the veggies so a small amount preserves and more will make tangy but will turn to mush faster).

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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby WarpGirl » Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:29 pm

OK not technically a "food" but still interesting... I bought this tea for joint health in the organic section of my market. I have CP, and 7 screws in my hip joint. So it seemed like a good idea. I'm just not sure how much I have to drink before I start feeling good. Anyway now that you all have the pointless background this tea is really interesting. First of all it has tumeric in it, which is new for me. I thought I was pretty well aquainted with the different varieties of "spice teas" at my local mega-mart. (specialty stores are hours from me) But tumeric is one I have missed until now. I was afraid the tea would be really yellow, it looked like pollen in the tea bag. And the thought of drinking "yellow water" wasn't appealing if you get my drift...

But it wasn't too yellow, and it tastes REALLY REALLY good. Very floral almost like chamomile, but not as cloying. With a hint of spice not heat. I think T'Pol would love this stuff! :vulcan:
Some of these people haven't taken their medication. Let's see what happens now...
Donna Moss: The West Wing


And by people WG had herself in mind, but then the quote would have been ruined.
Fics
May We Together Become Greater Than The Sum Of Us
*Rights,* Wrongs, and Choices

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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby Alelou » Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:31 pm

Turmeric is a big spice in Indian cooking, and it's supposed to be quite good for your health.

If it works, let us know. Personally, I think that's quite a claim for a tea to make.
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Re: Calling All Cooks

Postby WarpGirl » Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:55 pm

I will... the box says Yogi joint comfort, eases joint movement. I know about Turmeric because I'm the only person in my family that likes curry.
Some of these people haven't taken their medication. Let's see what happens now...
Donna Moss: The West Wing


And by people WG had herself in mind, but then the quote would have been ruined.
Fics
May We Together Become Greater Than The Sum Of Us
*Rights,* Wrongs, and Choices


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