The Pegasus/*the_abomination* Parody Round Robin

[CoffeeCat]

OK. T'poptarts - I have the first segment with no real goal in mind except to rank on *the_abomination*. Sorry I had to sleep on it, but I just don't feel silly enough until first thing in the morning.

Anyone may add what they wish - who knows, we may end up with a plot.
__________________________________________________________________________

Counselor Deanna Troi had finally made up her mind. No backing down. She decided that she needed therapy. Of the Klingon kind, actually.

It wasn't that she really wanted Worf - it's just that her Imzadi, over the years, had turned into Pavarotti.

Dammit. If only he could sing. At least she'd make some money off his fat butt.

He was worse than Barclay with his damn holographic expoits. At least Barclay was addicted to holosex. Riker, on the other hand, had this stupid cooking show. And by some form of twisted logic, he actually started pan frying Starfleet historical figures.

She knew she was fortunate to never have witnessed first hand the warped moment when he actually ate the remains, but she often wondered if he swallowed the carcass whole. She had to get her mind off the horrible images that were coming from that train of thought so she quickly imagined Worf and his sexy Klingon ass. At least when he bites he only takes a small chunk out of the cheek!

She quickened her pace down the corridors on her way to find her Klingon hunka-chunka, when shuddenly, the Red Alert klaxon began to blare.

She groaned. This always happened. Riker probably got himself wedged in the corridor again.

Turning on her heels, she quickly headed for Ten Forward where Guinan had stashed the bucket of bacon grease. It was a nasty job but she was tired of counseling all the people who had done it before - so she assumed the role herself and was thus gifted with the reputation of being the most long suffering person on the ship. Hell, she even beat out the Captain after he was Borged and then tortured by Cardassians.

::Data to Counselor Troi::

She slapped her comm badge, "Go ahead, Data."

::Report to the bridge - it's not Commander Riker this time::

Troi breathed a sigh of relief feeling increadibly blessed to have been spared. "I'm on my way!"

[dark_rain]

HAHA! Nice one, If i could write, I'd join ya!

[blacknblue]

OK. T'poptarts - I have the first segment with no real goal in mind except to rank on *the_abomination*. Sorry I had to sleep on it, but I just don't feel silly enough until first thing in the morning.

Anyone may add what they wish - who knows, we may end up with a plot.
__________________________________________________________________________

Counselor Deanna Troi had finally made up her mind. No backing down. She decided that she needed therapy. Of the Klingon kind, actually.

It wasn't that she really wanted Worf - it's just that her Imzadi, over the years, had turned into Pavarotti.

Dammit. If only he could sing. At least she'd make some money off his fat butt.

He was worse than Barclay with his damn holographic expoits. At least Barclay was addicted to holosex. Riker, on the other hand, had this stupid cooking show. And by some form of twisted logic, he actually started pan frying Starfleet historical figures.

She knew she was fortunate to never have witnessed first hand the warped moment when he actually ate the remains, but she often wondered if he swallowed the carcass whole. She had to get her mind off the horrible images that were coming from that train of thought so she quickly imagined Worf and his sexy Klingon ass. At least when he bites he only takes a small chunk out of the cheek!

She quickened her pace down the corridors on her way to find her Klingon hunka-chunka, when shuddenly, the Red Alert klaxon began to blare.

She groaned. This always happened. Riker probably got himself wedged in the corridor again.

Turning on her heels, she quickly headed for Ten Forward where Guinan had stashed the bucket of bacon grease. It was a nasty job but she was tired of counseling all the people who had done it before - so she assumed the role herself and was thus gifted with the reputation of being the most long suffering person on the ship. Hell, she even beat out the Captain after he was Borged and then tortured by Cardassians.

::Data to Counselor Troi::

She slapped her comm badge, "Go ahead, Data."

::Report to the bridge - it's not Commander Riker this time::

Troi breathed a sigh of relief feeling increadibly blessed to have been spared. "I'm on my way!"

Thou art deeply troubled... nay. Dare I say it? Alas, my innate conditioning as a gentleman forbids it.

*sigh*

[CoffeeCat]

^ hmm. you think that's bad - you would never have survived my Voyager parodies...

[TPoptarts]

Okay I'm working on the next one gonna take a while though because of my stupid dyslexia.

[TPoptarts]

Okay... I'm a horrible writer so this... thing doesn't really have anything to do with either Pegasus or *the_abomination* or anything really, and it doesn't make much sense either (but that's like totally intentional), plus I haven't really watched a lot of TNG so I think I probably exhausted all my TNG jokes on this one. Anyway here goes

P.S. Romulan guy's name is from a Romulan name generator. Not mine.
_____________________________________________________

"Thank you for joining us, Counselor," greeted Captain Picard, cuing the instantaneous shift of everyone's gazes toward the bridge entrance, where she had remained standing as her incredibly puffy, bushy hair could no longer fit through the door.

Troi's eyes widened in an unsuccessful attempt at a so-called emotional expression never taught in self-respecting acting schools. "I sense great danger," she whispered in a shivering voice to the sight of a Romulan commander on the viewscreen.

Why do every time people see a Romulan they sense danger, Commander Parthok grimaced for a moment, but quickly regained his composure as he said, "we come in peace."

"Oh. Oops," Counselor Troi's eyes quickly searched around the room in embarrassment, until finally resting on no other than her Klingon hunka-chunka. Worf flashed a grin at the already blushing counselor, then gulped down two more Imodium Extra-Strength pills with his prune juice.

Picard let out an irritated sigh. Had he not needed that useless counselor to un-wedge Riker so frequently, he would have had her thrown out of an airlock a long time ago. Sense that, he thought.

"The Romulan Star Empire has sent us here to request the Federation's assistance in bringing a defector to justice," Parthok continued. "The results from the genetic samples we had transported to you should be ready by now to confirm it."

Conveniently, at that very exact moment the voice of Doctor Crusher was heard from outside. "It's true," she said while slowly, and probably quite painfully, squeezing past Counselor Troi until finally entering the bridge. She held a padd out to the captain and continued, "the samples prove it. Admiral Pressman is..." she took a dramatic pause, clearing her throat as the entire crew watched her in anticipation, "a genetically-altered Romulan!"

The moment she said the word "Romulan", loud, ominous music began blaring, sending the startled crew jumping in the air in horror and triggering the ship's Red Alert like a car's alarm in a thunder storm.

Why does every time someone says "Romulan"... ah, forget it, Commander Parthok sighed in exasperation as he lowered the shields again, then proceeded to calm his frightened crew.

Worry shot through Picard’s eyes as he looked at his first officer, then back to Commander Parthok. "You will have our full cooperation," he assured him. Parthok nodded and the viewscreen went blank.

Picard turned back to Riker. "My ready room," he said as they both rose and headed off the bridge.

As he walked past her, Doctor Crusher noticed a large stain on the back of Riker's uniform, which for an unknown reason bore uncanny similarity to her son. Where is that twit anyway? She thought. It's long past his bed time.

Oh well, she shrugged. Time is relative in space.

[CoffeeCat]

I love it
I'm going away from the for the next two days - Be back monday or tuesday to add more.

[TPoptarts]

Gah. I don't know. My obscene attempt at prose just doesn't sound right I think I should put it through the "Proper English to Modern T'Poptarts Spoken English" translator module

So finally Troi drags her own fat butt up to the bridge, but stays outside because her big hair won't fit through the door. (Yeah it's even bigger than her ass) Then she sees that Romulan guy on the screen and goes all "boo-hoo, I sense danger" like some Jean Grey right before she faints for the who-knows-what time, with that weird-ass puppy look on her face. Kinda makes one wonder what the frell those TNG casting directors were on.

So anyway poor Commander Parthok (the Romulan guy) goes all like, what did I do then explains her they're peaceful. So she's like "oops", looks at her hunka-chunka as if that's gonna help her patheticness any, but he's too busy popping Imodium pills. And Picard's all like, why am I keeping her here again??

Then Doctor Crusher has to squeeze herself into the bridge because naturally Troi's big hair and fat butt are blocking the way, and announces "guess what, Admiral Pressman is a Romulan!" cuing the loud ominous music which of course like totally freaks the dren out of everybody (including the Romulans), and poor Commander Parthok goes all like, WHAT DID I DO??

And Picard looks at Parthok like this and goes like, "dude, that's like the lamest attempt at plot development ever." And Parthok's like, "well at least it's consistent with the show", so Picard's like, "touche, but it's still lame." So Parthok's like "well it's either this or just sitting around making fun of Fat Riker (TM) for the whole fic." And I'm like, "what's wrong with that??" and CoffeeCat's like "nothing."

So then Fat Riker (TM) gets up to show off the Wesley-blob splattered on his big fat ass to prove the point that making fun of Fat Riker (TM) really is a good direction to go with the fic, and also to ensure that, unless he's like being served as an appetizer in Riker's stupid cooking show or having holosex with Barclay, we will be spared from the Wesley Crusher nuisance.

Ahh. Much better

[Distracted]

Okaaay....THAT was interesting.

[TPoptarts]

^ Hey here's a crazy idea... why don't you join the fun?

[tennisgirl]

Gah. I don't know. My obscene attempt at prose just doesn't sound right I think I should put it through the "Proper English to Modern T'Poptarts Spoken English" translator module

So finally Troi drags her own fat butt up to the bridge, but stays outside because her big hair won't fit through the door. (Yeah it's even bigger than her ass) Then she sees that Romulan guy on the screen and goes all "boo-hoo, I sense danger" like some Jean Grey right before she faints for the who-knows-what time, with that weird-ass puppy look on her face. Kinda makes one wonder what the frell those TNG casting directors were on.

So anyway poor Commander Parthok (the Romulan guy) goes all like, what did I do then explains her they're peaceful. So she's like "oops", looks at her hunka-chunka as if that's gonna help her patheticness any, but he's too busy popping Imodium pills. And Picard's all like, why am I keeping her here again??

Then Doctor Crusher has to squeeze herself into the bridge because naturally Troi's big hair and fat butt are blocking the way, and announces "guess what, Admiral Pressman is a Romulan!" cuing the loud ominous music which of course like totally freaks the dren out of everybody (including the Romulans), and poor Commander Parthok goes all like, WHAT DID I DO??

And Picard looks at Parthok like this and goes like, "dude, that's like the lamest attempt at plot development ever." And Parthok's like, "well at least it's consistent with the show", so Picard's like, "touche, but it's still lame." So Parthok's like "well it's either this or just sitting around making fun of Fat Riker (TM) for the whole fic." And I'm like, "what's wrong with that??" and CoffeeCat's like "nothing."

So then Fat Riker (TM) gets up to show off the Wesley-blob splattered on his big fat ass to prove the point that making fun of Fat Riker (TM) really is a good direction to go with the fic, and also to ensure that, unless he's like being served as an appetizer in Riker's stupid cooking show or having holosex with Barclay, we will be spared from the Wesley Crusher nuisance.

Ahh. Much better

I've never watched Pegasus or the horrible thing that was screened after Terra Prime aka *the_abomination*, but that was so funny...

[TPoptarts]

See?? I knew Modern T'Poptarts Spoken English was better. Prose is like so totally overrated.

[Distracted]

^ Hey here's a crazy idea... why don't you join the fun?

Ummm...believe it or not, I've never seen the Pegasus episode. I own it on VHS. I own the entire series, still in their plastic wrappers, most of them, but I lost interest in TNG a really long time ago and am really not motivated to go back and watch enough of it to do a decent job with a parody. That, and I'm married to a man who has fought obesity his entire life, and I really don't think that "Fat Riker" is all that funny. Sorry.

[JadziaKathryn]

Ummm...believe it or not, I've never seen the Pegasus episode. I own it on VHS. I own the entire series, still in their plastic wrappers, most of them, but I lost interest in TNG a really long time ago and am really not motivated to go back and watch enough of it to do a decent job with a parody. That, and I'm married to a man who has fought obesity his entire life, and I really don't think that "Fat Riker" is all that funny. Sorry.

It's not just me! I don't think "Fat Riker" is all that funny either. Several close family members struggle with being overweight, and I just don't find this amusing. And seriously, I don't see why people make such a big deal out of the fact that Jonathan Frakes gained a few pounds. It was not that much, and honestly, with everything else terrible in *the_abomination*, I didn't even notice.

[TPoptarts]

Honestly? Um tell you a little secret... Fat Riker (TM) really isn't that funny. (For me at least) I just drew that caricature once for a TrekBBS challenge, just didn't expect it to become like so popular. The later installments of him were more like a sarcastic remark directed at the whole situation. Well I don't know if you watch South Park but it's like when they have like Arab people speaking in some ridiculous "derka derka" gibberish. What's being made fun of isn't Arab people but the way [many] Americans see them.

Now the reason I still use Fat Riker (TM) in like art and fics is because he's pretty much evolved into like a more or less "character" status for me (that's why he's "Fat Riker (TM)" and not any canon "Riker" character) and I get inspired by this character like by any canon character. And I make fun of him like any canon character. (Or pretty much anything in the universe actually ) Only thing is, he evolved from a caricature.

Oh and I'm like totally not trying to convince you to join the round robin or anything. Just trying to explain Fat Riker (TM) out. Sorry if I ruined the fun for anyone who thinks Fat Riker (TM) is funny. Well I suck at explaining myself but I'll try anyway - I guess doing more "parody" stuff than like "serious" stuff it puts my work in that kinda spot, but for me anything can be as funny or as serious as I want it to be... I don't know if what I'm trying to say makes sense to anyone

Personally though I didn't even notice Frakes gained any weight at all in *the_abomination*, the inspiration actually came from a fic I read like on Trip/T'Polers or somewhere. I mean alas the dude's not even fat like at all. Hell my own ass is at least twice as big (but then again I do like to make fun of my big fat ass or my big hair, tiny feet, needle phobia, painful experiences... you name it gah and just to think how boring it would be if I was like "perfect" with no "flaws" to make fun of )