short fic challenge: How Mary Sue Saves Enterprise!

[Asso]

I think I begin to understand.
But I need more explanations.
Please, what exactly is "Mary Sue"?
What exactly all this means?
Or, in other words, what mean you with this locution?
Why: "Mary Sue"?

[Linda]

Mary Sue is the name given to a an original character that a writer used to be a super hero and out do the regular characters in a story which otherwise uses previously established characters. The name Mary Sue was given by story reviewers who think the writing is poor and the superhero character should not have been made to out do the regular characters. So we are each writing a parody for Enterprise stories, making fun of the Mary Sue type of character. She need not be named Mary Sue, and may not even have to be female.

Here is an explanation from Wikipedia that I cut and pasted:

Mary Sue
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article may contain original research or unverified claims.
Please improve the article by adding references. See the talk page for details. (October 2007)
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (October 2007)
This article is about the concept in modern literary criticism. For either part of the given name or real or fictional people named as such, see Mary and Sue.

Mary Sue, sometimes shortened simply to Sue, is a pejorative term used to describe a fictional character, either male or female (male characters are often dubbed "Gary Stu", "Marty Sam", or similar names), that exhibits some or most of the clichés common to much fan fiction. Such characters were originally labeled "Mary Sues" because they were portrayed in overly idealized ways, lacked noteworthy or realistic flaws, and primarily functioned as wish-fullfillment fantasies for their authors, often very young and unsophisticated. These authors are sometimes referred to as Suethors, a portmanteau of "Sue" and "author", though this usage is not universal within the fan fiction community. While characters labeled "Mary Sues" by readers are not generally intentionally written as such, some authors deliberately create "Mary Sues" (often described as just that by their own authors) as a form of parody.

While the term is generally limited to fan-created characters, and its most common usage today occurs within the fan fiction community or in reference to fan fiction, canon and original fiction characters are also sometimes criticized as being "Mary Sues." Wesley Crusher[1] is probably the best-known example. On the popular fan fiction site, Fanfiction.net, a story titled "My Immortal" uses the "Mary Sue" ideal to its absolute worst extent, overglorifying the story's main character to the overshadowing of all other characters. As of November 20, 2007 the fic has garnered over 7000 mostly critical reviews (more than any other on the site so far), and has become a reference on how "Mary Sues" can cripple a story and why to avoid writing one. In play-by-post role-playing games, many original characters are also criticized as being "Mary Sues" if they dominate the spotlight or can miraculously escape a near-impossible predicament, usually with an unlikely and previously unrevealed skill.

Identifying a character as a "Mary Sue" is naturally a subjective matter. Not all characters seemingly exhibiting "Mary Sue" traits would necessarily qualify by everyone's criteria. Indeed, well-known characters like Michael Moorcock's Elric, who is a fairly obvious idealized author surrogate,[2] are loved in spite of, or perhaps even because of, their relative "Sueness".

[Asso]

Oh good!
Thanks.
Now I understood.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

I think, what with your reviews and all, you should try one, KTR!

Oh nooo, please don't make me... I couldn't live with myself afterwards. I'd have nightmares!

[Emberchyld]

Okay, I'm game. I'm off the word count by 34 words, but, in true Mary-Sueness, was unable to cut back anymore. All misspellings are intentional (and if they weren't, they are now!):

Paradigm of the Heart (a Mary Sue Adventure)
By Emberchyld
Rating: G


Ensign Maree-Sioux Rayvenn pushed her waist-length firey red curls out of her face as she stood and surveyed Main Engineering with her deep lavender eyes. Tripp would be proud—at sixteen, she might be the youngest engineer in Starfleet history, but she could fix a plasma conduit in about five seconds flat without breaking a sweat.
“How’re ya doin’, Maree?”
Maree turned around and gave her cutest smile to her boss. “Great, Tripp.” She then bounced over to a panel. “I got done early, so I just did something to the warp engines. We’ll be able to reach warp 10 now.”
Tripp looked at his proti-jay with wonder in his eyes. “What’n would we do without ya? Ah think yah’re amazing.” He caught her eyes with his endless sapphire ones.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” Maree-Sioux leaned towards him, breathless. Their lips were about to touch, when…
The ship shook and the red alert siren went off. “The warp core is breaching!” Tripp yelled.
“I’ve got it!” Maree ran over to the core and pulled a chocolate bar out of her pocket. “I saw this on MacGuyver once!” She shoved the chocolate into the core, stopping the breach.
“Amazing!” Tripp swept her into his arms… and a kiss.
Out of the corner of her eye, Maree could see T’Poll backing away, nodding sadly. Even a Vulcan knew that she and Tripp were meant to be together.

The End (a sequel in 500 parts will follow, where Maree-Sioux Tucker becomes the first female captain of the Enterprise and defeats the Borg while giving birth to identical twin girls with sapphire-eyes and firey red hair)

[CX]

*snerk*

[blacknblue]

[evcake]

[JadziaKathryn]

at sixteen, she might be the youngest engineer in Starfleet history

Ha! I'd forgotten that part! The spelling errors are also a nice touch.

Okay, guys, we need a Gary Stu here! *nudge nudge*

[CX]

It's more than 200 words, but oh well:


Finish the Fight

Koss stood ready on the ancestral grounds that had been passed down through his father’s family for generations. His family stood behind him, outside the sacred ring where he would fight this stranger for the right to marry his betrothed, T’Pol.

T’Pol stood with Trip and her mother behind her new champion, who had appeared out of thin air just as T’Pol had threatened to call the kal-if-fee. He had stepped forward, and she had accepted the stranger’s offer to help.

Lirpa at the ready, Koss waited for the gong to be sounded that would begin this death-match. His green-clad, faceless enemy crouched, ready to leap into action.

BONG!

Master Chief leapt to the side as his opponent charged him, his genetic enhancements working in synch with his mjolnir armor. Reaching into his holster, he pulled out a plasma grenade and activated it. While his opponent recovered from his charge, the chief threw the grenade, sticking it to Koss’s right arm.

The Vulcan did an admirable job of keeping the confusion and fear from his face, but he still flailed his arm about uselessly, until the grenade exploded four seconds later.

The chief watched as Koss’s life ended, his right arm being blown free and sent in the opposite direction as what was left of his corpse.

All eyes were on him.

“What?” he asked. “You said it was a fight to the death.”

He pointed at the scorched remains of his opponent. “I’d say he’s dead.”

Koss’s father finally managed to speak up, “but you used a forbidden weapon!”

“You said I couldn’t use my rifle or my sidearm, you didn’t say anything about plasma grenades.”

When the Vulcans continued to stare, he simply shouldered his lirpa and strode toward T’Pol.

“I release you to the one named ‘Trip’.”

And they lived happily ever after, except for Koss, who died a horrible and painful death.

The End.

[Asso]

More than 200 words?
I don't care!

I enjoied the little story very much!

[JadziaKathryn]

"You didn't say anything about plasma grenades." This is why, when explaining a fight to the death, the rules should be expoundeded on in explicit detail.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

Paradigm of the Heart (a Mary Sue Adventure))

This has got to be the worst yet, which means it's the best!

Excellent!

[JadziaKathryn]

Well, as most Mary Sues do, this has a squick factor for age-inappriopriate pairings. And a lot of other things to boot. Here's round 2 for me. Spelling errors deliberate, as much as it pained me.

How Mary Sue Saved the Enterprise, Broke Two Hearts, Earned a Starfleet Commission, and Won Her Man

“The key was,” explained Mary Sue Ablely, “we had to make sure we sent the message at exactly the right time, or Enterprise would’ve gone to warp.”

“An’ been blown to smithereens,” added a very impressed Tripp.

Malcolm Reid’s gaze hadn’t left her sky-blue eyes. “I still want to know how you broke me out of prison.”

“I shorted out the electronic lock with a hairpin.”

“Amazing! I’m going to talk to Admiral Forest about you joining the crew as a lieutenant.” Captain Archer was clearly impressed.

“A wise choice,” conceded Commander T’pol. That was quite the turnaround, as two days before she had adamantly opposed allowing a seventeen-year old from 2007 access to restricted systems.

After the others had left, Ensign Maywether approached. “Um, if you’re free, Titanic is tonight’s movie.”

May Sue suppressed a sigh. At home she had always wished for more attention from boys, but this was starting to get old. First Lieutenant Reid, now Maywether. “I’m sorry, but I already have plans with Commander Tucker.”

“Oh. Well, see you around.”

Tripp was, in fact, waiting for her by the turbolift. “So, you’ve probly seen Titanic before, huh? I guess I’ll just have to make it memorable somehow.”

[Emberchyld]

“A wise choice,” conceded Commander T’pol. That was quite the turnaround, as two days before she had adamantly opposed allowing a seventeen-year old from 2007 access to restricted systems.

I had forgotten about the "time travelling genius from now" Mary Sue! Love it!

These are all so painful and so much fun! (And I particularly over Linda's leg-spreading Ms. Fixitall!)

Okay, so now we need a telepathic human teenager from now who just so happens to fulfill some sort of Vulcan prophecy with her arrival and saves the universe, despite her evil identical twin's machinations.