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I like to have a beer or a glass of wine with my fan fiction. How about some drinking rules?

Drink when:

A crew member gets captured
T'Pol raises an eyebrow
Trip rolls his tongue in his cheek
Archer does something stupid
TnT speak through the mating bond

What else?

Phlox grins.

I'm already drunk just thinking about it!

Trip and T'Pol tease lovingly each other.

Any time anyone says anything in Vulcan.
Any time Trip says "darlin'".
And when Travis says anything you get to drink twice.

Distracted wrote:And when Travis says anything you get to drink twice.

If there is any (humorous) reference to an Archer speech.
When osmotic eels are referred to.
Any mention of the name "Boss" if referring to Trip
Any mentioning of Trip's antipathy to deserts, double if he ends up in one....

When Shran's antennas take to move frantically because his sharp eyes and always on the alert have caught Trip and T'Pol while...

So this is what we have:

Drink when:
A crew member gets captured
T'Pol raises an eyebrow
Trip rolls his tongue in his cheek
Archer does something stupid
TnT speak through the mating bond
Phlox grins
Trip and T'Pol tease lovingly each other
anyone says anything in Vulcan.
Trip says "darlin'"
when Travis says anything you get to drink twice
any (humorous) reference to an Archer speech.
osmotic eels are referred to.
mention of the name "Boss" if referring to Trip
mentioning Trip's antipathy to deserts, double if he ends up in one....
When Shran's antennas take to move frantically...

To this I would add:
T'Pol calls Trip t'hy'la or ashayam
mention of Malcolm's fear of drowning

Goodness! If you apply all these rules, you'll be passed out in a drunken stupor on the very first page of any TnT fanfic ever written...

Yep. Doesn't sound very safe. T'Pol would advise that we drink chamomile tea instead.

How about:

When Soval looks dubious
When Hoshi touches her earpiece
When Porthos gets a lump of illicit cheese

?

(OK it's not safe but it looks like fun. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to alcohol, so I won't be giving it a go!)

Oh, definitely the cheese. I think you could add when Soval frowns. Those Ent Vulcans are always frowning.

Nice signature, Eireann!