One useful comment

Romulans, phase-inverters, friendships, OH MY!

Moderators: justTripn, Elessar, dark_rain

User avatar
Ulva
Lieutenant
Lieutenant
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:16 pm
Show On Map: No
Location: Lund, Sweden

Re: One useful comment

Postby Ulva » Sun Dec 26, 2010 6:43 pm

justTripn wrote:Guys, it has become increasingly difficult to monitor this board. People are leaving because of the conflicts. We are a very diverse group geographically and culturally and in terms of past experiences. PLEASE behave respectfully towards others or we will have no forum at all.


I know the discussion has gone on from this first post but I would like to address this. I haven't been around enough to know exactly what this is about, yet I am familiar with this phenomenon. It's not something specific to this board, but I quickly became aware of it the first time I stuck my nose in here after being silent on TrekBBS and HoT for years; the tendency to take the "my way or the highway" attitude. The smaller the community the harder it gets to "hide" from posters you don't agree with and have a tendency to end up in a conflict with and they stand out more. It's easier to leave when you're sure you will bump in to that individual every time you start reading a thread.

In my case it's been more my disease than anything else that has kept me from hanging around here. Plus, I lived through the 'shipper wars on TrekBBS and that was nasty. After a while I just wanted to grab a baseball bat and start swinging at the worst offenders on both sides shouting "It's just a bloody telly show, so get a grip!". In my case what happened was that I just stopped feeding the monster. Knowing when to just stop and not get too involved is an art, but having gone through that chaos taught me to not get drawn in.

Having said that, I definitely think everyone needs to think about how they put things. I'm personally not a fan of the open comments feature on written material. I have seen stories that have been dealing with difficult issues and what tend to happen is that some really hate what they read and spew it all over the place. It's not constructive. In fact it's plain rude. Don't like it? Take it to e-mail or PM and discuss your issues with the story. Or simply quit reading. There's always that option one click away. Just put yourself on the receiving end for a moment before hitting that submit button, and much will be won.

For the moderators on the board, if you are seeing issues with posters, just deal with it right away and talk to them. Don't let it drag on like I've seen on other boards. People need to know when they're out of line even if they haven't broken any rules per se. One or two posters can be enough to slow traffic considerably. It might seem presumptuous to say something like this, but I have as I have mentioned been around on plenty of boards for a while. I have never wanted to become a moderator because I know it's not easy, so you guys have my admiration for sticking it out. This was just a word of advice after watching events unfold over the years.
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. - Isaac Asimov

User avatar
Silverbullet
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 3507
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:38 pm
Show On Map: No
Location: Casa Grande , Arizona

Re: One useful comment

Postby Silverbullet » Sun Dec 26, 2010 8:24 pm

Ulva, I believe we have tried to be civil in this thread. Certainly Distracted, WG and Panysann have. I hope I have been too.

Don't beieve also that there has been any rants, tauntin, personal barbs at anyone by anybody. The subject is dicey that is for sure. But if handled with civility it can be discussed.

Distracted, Wg and myself agree that we do not like some of the items discussed such as torture, humilitation, or worse.

Your thoughts on this matter are appreciated.

SB
I am Retired. Having a good time IS my job


Image

Brandyjane
Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Commander
Posts: 179
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:41 pm
Location: Texas

Re: One useful comment

Postby Brandyjane » Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:15 pm

I think Ulva's comment was directed toward the original discussion ten pages back and not toward the way this particular thread has played out. I've been surprised by how civil this discussion has been, considering the subject matter and the strong opinions involved!

Years ago, when Ent was first airing, I posted for about a year over at TrekBBS, and I, too, was driven away by the "Shipper Wars." I think that when we communicate this way, without all the nonverbal cues you get from face-to-face communication, it is easy to misread each other. One person doesn't realize that another person is seriously getting upset, another person doesn't realize that someone else is blunt but really doesn't mean to be offensive, and the next thing you know it's been escalated to the point where people are saying genuinely rude things to each other. I've really enjoyed my time on this board, and I really don't ever want to see it get to the point where hanging out here is more stressful than enjoyable. Fortunately, most of the time things do cool down before they get really uncivil. I think in some ways it can even help a little when you're a member of a small community because you start to get a feel about which issues will set off other posters and you learn what to avoid, or, if it can't be avoided, you learn how to phrase things so that they aren't taken the wrong way. Of course, if you make an "enemy," it could ruin the whole experience since you really can't hide.

User avatar
Silverbullet
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 3507
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:38 pm
Show On Map: No
Location: Casa Grande , Arizona

Re: One useful comment

Postby Silverbullet » Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:08 pm

I believe that being Civil will lead to an honest, open, non-invasive conversation. People are more likely to responde to a civil discourse. Certainly it cannot hurt to be civil. The honey and viniger factor comes in to play.

I am enjoying this discussion. It is stimulating.

Thank you Brandyjane for your input too.

SB
I am Retired. Having a good time IS my job


Image

User avatar
justTripn
Consigliere
Posts: 3991
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 11:12 pm
Show On Map: No
Location: Pittsburgh

Re: One useful comment

Postby justTripn » Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:01 pm

Thanks, Ulva. You are right of course. In the particular case that prompted my warning (quoted above), the person who stepped out of line apologized profusely and has mentioned some extenuating circumstances, so . . . hopefully things will go better in the future. :(
I'm donating my body to science fiction.

User avatar
panyasan
Commodore
Commodore
Posts: 2435
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 12:14 pm
Location: Farel moon, Dosa system

Re: One useful comment

Postby panyasan » Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:08 pm

Silverbullet wrote:I believe that being Civil will lead to an honest, open, non-invasive conversation. People are more likely to responde to a civil discourse. Certainly it cannot hurt to be civil. The honey and viniger factor comes in to play.

I am enjoying this discussion. It is stimulating.
I agree, SB. I don't mind people having strong opinions, but part of the art of having a conversation is that you share and listen and some else come with his or her ideas and you get this bouncing off of ideas. If you are willing to listen to each other, you may be not change your mind, but you learn a lot and maybe get better ideas while you at it. :D
Love is a verb.

Chapter 17 of Word of Ice is up!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8522099/17/World-of-Ice

The Naked Truth and other necessities of life

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12056258/1 ... es-of-life


Return to “Non-Ship Fanfiction”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests