I have to admit, I'm slightly scared but as I'm going away until monday I think I'm safe...
OK without giving to much of my story away I'll say my views on this are complicated. Let me start with the daddy's girl question, do I think T'Pol is a daddy's girl? Yes, in a way I think she is. However, I'm not sure she was a daddy's girl while he was alive. You see how old she was when he died would shape her outlook of him. I don't think there is any canonical information about when he died (correct me if I'm wrong) but in my imagination it was in pre-adolencence. Roughly the human equivilant of 8-10. Young enough for the "rose colored glasses" to be in full effect, but about the time when they start shattering.
A lot of people like the idea that T'Pol's father was more sympathetic to her emotions being close to the surface, and while I have no objections to the idea, for me its just too easy to use it as an explanation for the conflict with T'Les. I prefer more layered reasons. If T'Pol was child when her father died, than we really wouldn't know how he would view her struggles as an adult. Vulcan children aren't born with perfect control, so both T'Les and her husband would have had to have been very tolorent of their daughter. I do have the sense that T'Les might have let T'Pol know she was more concerned about how much she had to srtuggle then her father did. But that doesn't automatically mean he didn't worry himself.
Personally, I always thought T'Les and T'Pol were very much alike. Not that T'Pol would have taken the same actions as her mother. But I saw a lot of fundemental characteristics that were the same. That probably caused conflict, because most parents find it hard to accept their child's qirks, especially if those quirks are traits they do not like about themselves. Indeed, that can cause more conflicts than a child who is radically different from the parent.
I think when dad died, T'Les was hurt badly by the broken bond. It's possible that after that she could not relate to T'Pol anymore simply because her bonding abilities were impaired. I kind of have the idea she went for Kolinahr to save her own sanity and lost some of the connection to T'Pol that T'Pol desperately needed. With all of that I'm sure T'Pol must have felt doubly abandoned and started clinging to her father's memory and becoming a "daddy's girl" believing that,
"Father would have treated me differently".
As to who Dad is... Well, in my head he's Soval's son. And he worked for the Ministry of Security, because I can't figure out why T'Pol would have chosen to get into the profession, when as a girl she idolized V'Lar, and is drawn to exploration, science, and curiosity. All of which I think must come from BOTH of her parents. After all, T'Mir is
T'Les' grandmother, not dad's. However I don't think dad chased down fugitives like T'Pol. But I'm not telling what I think he did you'll all have to read the fic to find out.
As to how he died... The VHC, and the Rommies that's all I'll say. Want details, read the story. Not that that part is written yet.
What kind of man was he? Unselfish, loving family man all of his family, loyal to a superlative degree, kind of a Vulcan's man's man, well educated, not given to a strictly black and white outlook on things, a definite follower of Surak's true teachings. Very much a "needs of the many" guy. I think he's the type to abhore corruption, anything unjust, or immoral. Slow to any use of force, yet more than capable of carrying it out if there is no other option. Very willing to fight for and die for doing the right thing.
As for the Rommie thing... I don't like it for two reasons 1. We've already had one in Saavik. I ADORE Saavik, but one of the things that got me really excited about ENT (in the begining) was a fully Vulcan female lead. It had never been done, I didn't want to see that screwed up. 2. Too many explanations (excuses) as to why T'Pol is so "different" she had the Pa'nar, she did TD, oops she did all those things because she's half Rommie...
Please enough already. Can't we just put it down to Vulcans are individuals, not Borg?
To me its a massive case of overkill, I just don't see the need.
Awww you're sweet, Aquarius. 
Now that would be a guilty pleasure late night flight of fancy I could get into with a glass of wine and some chocolate. However, I am not the one to write it. 
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