Older women, younger men

[WarpGirl]

[Alelou]

Could this old saying sound a little too much masculinist?
If she's older, you must fear her.
If she's younger, you must love her.

LOL. Maybe because older women often won't put up with shit the way younger women will?

I think it's mostly biological. Attraction is hard-wired into us as a function of the drive for procreation. Guys are not likely to be too attracted in a serious longterm way to a female who has passed or looks close to passing childbearing age. One guy in my writing group put it this way: "Why wouldn't you pick the one with the later expiration date?" And I also read about some research that shows men are definitely attracted by certain beautiful features -- so much so that over time women are becoming more beautiful, because those women are more likely to mate successfully.
Men don't have that same age restriction on reproduction, and it probably gets confused with their ability to provide for a family, though I think most women are going to at least want a man who's still spry enough to, say, lift their kids, or scare off a bear. That same research shows that wealth trumps looks in terms of success at mating for men. (And, as a result, men are not getting more beautiful.)

[WarpGirl]

All I know is that two of my mother's best friends are significantly older than their spouses and have lasting solid marriages. And my mother is 2 years older than my dad not significant in and of itself now, but they met when she was 16 and my father was 14.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

Honestly, as a man I must admit that physical attractiveness plays a big part in chosing a partner. That is probably due to the before mentioned childbearing thing biologically hardwired into our brains. So no, I don't think Trip would opt for a relationship with a T'Pol that looked 60 years old (in Human terms). Sorry if that offends.

The "cougar" thing will mostly only work if the cougar in question looks younger. Take Courtney Cox, who at 45 looks great, and can thus star in Cougar Town. Rosie O'Donnell couldn't. And I saw Jane Seymour playing a cougar in an episode of How I met your Mother. She looked amazing and I can't believe she's 59!

So maybe Trip would get hitched with a 60-year old T'Pol if she looked as got at that age as Jane Seymour does...

[WarpGirl]

You know I get intellectually that physical attractiveness in part of a biological function. Honestly I do. I don't think it's "wrong" or weird or anything like that. I do think however that sometimes it can be considered too important. What would people say if JB's T'Pol had been scarred, or not made up to be so glamerous? What if she had been made to look slightly more ordinary? Would Trip not have fallen for her because she didn't look like a Vulcan supermodel?

Now if she looked the human equivilent of her age, why does she have to be "perfect?" I mean Helen Mirran is also a beautiful woman, but there are flaws, and she looks her age, but quite honestly I think if she was "T'Pol" Trip could fall for her, despite not being "perfect" like JB. And I don't think she was "perfect" either too thin. But that's a requirement in the entertainment industry.

[Silverbullet]

I have been on both ends of it. I had an affair with an Older woman in England. She was 20 years older than me. Still attractive and certainly experienced. Nice thing, she wasn't looking for a husband or any ties at all. No tears wheen we stopped the affair. She had other fish to fry.

When I was 52 I could have had one night stands with women half my age had I not been married. They still looked and stil hung out the welcome sign.

As far as I am concerned Age doesn't matter. It is the person. Older women were very ineresting to me at times because they were interesting people. I was interesting to younger women when I was middle aged because I interested them.

Personaly I think cougars are a good thing for a young man. They can learn manhy things from an older woman and not have to worry about being stalked for the Altar.

[WarpGirl]

Some older women do want to get married. And they do too.

[Silverbullet]

WG, while that is true. I have known some who wanted their peace and quiet. They enjoyed having a dinner, Play or conceert and perhaps a little lovey after but then good night see you sometime.

Were I not married I would be that way. My own home with no one else around. No one to have to worry about, could run around as I wanted to instead of having to be shaved every day. I could be a bit of a slob.

Togetherness is fine but there is much to be said for being alone too.

[JadziaKathryn]

I am a man , and - usually - men watch, at first, and, ONLY successively (maybe), they think.
And, honestly, I think it will be forever like this.

Well put, Asso! And I'll try to remember this when I'm looking for one who does both simultaneously...

I know a few years ago the whole Aston Kutcher/Demi Moore relationship made a big splash. Interestingly, this is again a women who looks significantly younger than she is. And yet they seem to have outlasted a lot of Hollywood relationships. Anyway, I can only guess that it would be flattering to be pursued by a younger man, unless there was the gold-digger concern.

[Pegmumm]

Is this a trick question?

Hahaha...
It's a matter of mind over matter...
If you don't mind, it don't matter.

I have dated considerably younger men... nice place to visit but frankly I'd rather talk to someone that remembers the same history I do. That is if all we do is talk... mind you.

peg

[justTripn]

Must be my Calvinist upbringing, but I hate it when other people are having more fun than me. I mean . . . . good for you peg. I'm trying . . .

[Distracted]

Ummm... well, I haven't dated anyone but my husband in over 30 years, but I see college-aged men in my practice, and all I can say is unless you literally rob the cradle or find one that's been in the seminary, it's a game of Russian roulette to get intimate with anybody these days. I didn't get into it with Sehlra because this is fantasy, not reality, but I wouldn't touch a modern young man below the waist without gloves if my life depended on it. Or a young woman, for that matter. Maybe I was sheltered as a young person (I know I was, since I went to Catholic school and actually OBEYED the church's teachings on premarital relationships) but kids these days seem to think that sex is just a matter of physical recreation. And boy, are they recreatin'.

So don't feel bad, JT. There's "fun", and then there's being smart.

[justTripn]

You didn't get into with Selara??? Selara who?

OK, teasing!!!

[Pegmumm]

So don't feel bad, JT. There's "fun", and then there's being smart. [/quote]

I work in an inpatient crisis care facility. We deal with all manner of detentions for safety reasons and I agree... we really do need full body condoms when dealing with the opposite sex. You never know where they have been.

Thankfully I have been happily married for um... let me think... 17 years.

I grieve for the young people of today. When we were young all we had to worry about was pregnancy... now, it's an entirely different game.

But I can smile at the memories...

peg

[Distracted]

You didn't get into with Selara??? Selara who?

OK, teasing!!!

So, you're not reading Lertieran, I take it.

That's okay. It's not everybody's cup of tea.

To explain... this discussion started because BnB and I paired an older woman (Sehlra) with a younger man (Damin) in the last episode. Or at least I thought the controversy was about age. Now our primary critic says age isn't the issue. He doesn't like or trust Damin for other reasons which are unrelated to the age difference.

Anyway, the comments got me to thinking about the age difference between TnT and so I started this thread, which is now hopelessly off topic... as most of our threads tend to get eventually.