My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:42 pm

panyasan wrote:
Cogito wrote:Given the AU that many of your Archer/Trip stories are written in, I don't suppose a decade or two either way between Travis and Liz will worry you too much. :D

:? I always thought they were about the same age! Travis looks young, but what age is he? 25? And Liz is... late twenties, 30?



I thought the same thing. :dunno: I may be mistaken, but I don't think Cutler's age was ever established on the show ('Dead Stop' indicates that Travis was 26 at the time).
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Silverbullet » Wed Jul 04, 2012 2:16 pm

Hey, Travis has a Girlfriend. A Red Head if I remember right. Given hat Trav had little or nothing to do or say n the show his personal life was not covered until Terra Prime.

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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Thu Jul 05, 2012 1:41 pm

You mean Gannet? Well, it seemed like it was an 'on-again, off-again' thing. I'm pretty much ignoring canon here anyway (no offense intended). ;-)

Next:

Welcome Back
Summary: Archer returns to Enterprise. Missing scene 'Shockwave pt. 2'.
Rated PG. Beta'd by Tish.

Archer stepped out of the airlock, smiling when he saw Trip and T'Pol.

"Permission to come aboard?" he asked, with mock seriousness.

T'Pol raised her eyebrow, and then replied, "Granted, sir."

"This is going to make one hell of a report," Trip added.

"I must return to the bridge." T'Pol paused, and then added, "I am pleased that you have returned safely, Captain."

After T'Pol left, Archer and Trip faced each other, their silence speaking volumes.

*Protocol be damned,* Jon thought.

Jon engulfed Trip in a bear hug, which was eagerly returned. A feeling of warmth spread through Trip's chest.

"Welcome back, Cap'n."

"It's good to be back."

Jon patted Trip's back, then they turned and walked down the corridor.

"Looks like you got into a bit of trouble while I was gone," Jon said.

Trip shrugged. "Nothing we couldn't handle."

Archer smiled. It was good to be home.
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Distracted » Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:37 pm

A nice friendship moment.

I have one technical critique. You're head-hopping. You've got Archer's inner thoughts in one sentence and Trip's feelings in another, both in the same paragraph. I know it's just a drabble, but the concept will carry over to your longer pieces. It's customary to stick with only one POV per scene. There are exceptions, of course, but you have to be an exceptional writer to pull off a 3rd person omniscient POV. The "God" POV isn't good for generating an emotional response from the reader. It creates distance.
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Alelou » Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:43 pm

[quote="Hummingbird2"]I guess not. :lol:

Whatever Works
Summary: How did Malcolm know about Trip saving the ship in his underwear? Tag to 'Acquisition'.
Rated PG. Beta'd by Tishkajaku.


/quote]


Ha! Good one. I enjoyed Travis and Cutler too, though it felt like it needed development into a longer story.

Have to admit I'm also not really a fan of the tickling. From anyone. There was this family friend we all otherwise liked, but when he tickled us he never knew when to stop.
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:50 pm

Distracted wrote:A nice friendship moment.

I have one technical critique. You're head-hopping. You've got Archer's inner thoughts in one sentence and Trip's feelings in another, both in the same paragraph. I know it's just a drabble, but the concept will carry over to your longer pieces. It's customary to stick with only one POV per scene. There are exceptions, of course, but you have to be an exceptional writer to pull off a 3rd person omniscient POV. The "God" POV isn't good for generating an emotional response from the reader. It creates distance.


Thank you, Distracted. :) Yeah, I thought about that, but I wasn't sure how to fix it. :oops: Another problem I have (although I think I've managed to control it) is wandering tense.

Ha! Good one. I enjoyed Travis and Cutler too, though it felt like it needed development into a longer story.

Have to admit I'm also not really a fan of the tickling. From anyone. There was this family friend we all otherwise liked, but when he tickled us he never knew when to stop.


Thanks, Alelou! I would like to write longer stories, but I don't seem to be capable of it. I'm working on it, though.

As for 'Ticklish', well, that's just me, I guess. :lol: :archer: :trip:
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:32 pm

Double post.

This next batch of drabbles takes place in my Father & Son AU. All TnT related.

A Little Surprise
Summary: Trip and T'Pol have a surprise for Archer.
Rated G.

Trip walked into Archer's ready room carrying a small wrapped box. T'Pol followed him inside.

Jon was puzzled. "What's the occasion?" He asked.

Trip glanced at T'Pol, and then replied, "We've got a little surprise for you."

Jon took the box from Trip, wondering if he was pulling a prank. Then again, would T'Pol go along with that?

"Go ahead, open it," Trip said, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smirk.

Archer carefully opened the package, keeping a wary eye on Trip. He pulled out a gray t-shirt, with lettering on the front:

Grandpa

The Man

The Myth

The Legend

He looked at Trip, whose grin would've made Phlox envious. T'Pol was expressionless, yet her eyes conveyed amusement.

"Oh, boy..."
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Distracted » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:45 pm

Love the Quantum Leap reference. :lol:
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Alelou » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:52 pm

We're debating fraternization in another thread, but this raises the question of nepotism.

That's honestly the main reason I have trouble with this idea of Trip being Archer's son. It's charming but ... really problematic.
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:59 pm

Distracted wrote:Love the Quantum Leap reference. :lol:


Thank you! I just couldn't resist. :D

Alelou wrote:We're debating fraternization in another thread, but this raises the question of nepotism.

That's honestly the main reason I have trouble with this idea of Trip being Archer's son. It's charming but ... really problematic.


Yeah, I really fudged that one, didn't I? :duh: I guess the rules are a bit more relaxed in my AU, but you make a good point there.

I do have a vague idea that explains it, but I'm not sure if it will ever pan out (knowing me, it probably won't :roll: ).
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Thu Jul 12, 2012 1:38 pm

A Nose Is A Nose
Written for The Delphic Expanse Drabble Game prompt: 'Nose.'
Rated G.

After seven hours of labor, T'Pol gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Grinning widely, Phlox handed the baby to Trip.

Trip carefully held the bundle in his arms, counted all his fingers and toes, gently stroked the tiny pointed ears, looked into his little face...

And breathed a sigh of relief.

"Trip?" T'Pol asked.

Trip smiled. "He doesn't have my nose."
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Alelou » Thu Jul 12, 2012 3:02 pm

LOL. I think I enjoyed this one at ff.net, too, didn't I? Though personally I think Trip's nose is cute... or at least I do now. Early on I can't say I found him particularly attractive. Not that he isn't a good looking guy, but really his attraction is all about his personality (okay, and also his shoulders... and his glutes... and those really nice forearms... oh hell, I even like his Adam's apple). LOL.
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Distracted » Thu Jul 12, 2012 3:33 pm

I can't say that I've ever found anything objectionable about his nose, either, but maybe that's just me. ;-)
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Hummingbird2 » Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:42 pm

Thank you, Alelou and Distracted! I don't object to the 'ski slope' either (not my words). :mrgreen: Once again, I just couldn't help myself.
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Re: My Mixed Bag O'Drabbles

Postby Asso » Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:39 pm

Hummingbird2 wrote:A Nose Is A Nose


After seven hours of labor, T'Pol gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Grinning widely, Phlox handed the baby to Trip.

Trip carefully held the bundle in his arms, counted all his fingers and toes, gently stroked the tiny pointed ears, looked into his little face...

And breathed a sigh of relief.

"Trip?" T'Pol asked.

Trip smiled. "He doesn't have my nose."


:D :thumbsup: :D
Well yes. I continue to write. And on Fanfiction.Net, for those who want, it is possible to cast a glance at my latest efforts. We arrived to
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And here is the beginning of the whole story.
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But, I must say, you could also find something else on Fanfiction.net written by me. If you want.


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