They were very inconsistent in the way they talked about money on various Treks. But let's move on to the second season, shall we...
Season Two2-01 The ChildIf I had any hopes that
The Next Generation would improve in its second season, that hope was immediately squashed in the first episode. How could anyone even think that
The Child would be a good season opener? I know that there was a persistent writers' strike in Hollywood still going on, and that made them dig out an old script from the aborted
Star Trek: Phase II series from the 70s, but couldn't they at least have picked another one?
The Child is effectively a rape story, but it's not treated as such. But that's what it is. An alien light being impregnates itself in Troi, and goes through an amazingly fast gestation period and continues growing at an alarming rate after its birth. But all Troi feels is motherly, and the creepy kid-alien was just curious, so it doesn't matter that it violated her. Then he's gone as quickly as he came when he accidentally threatens to have the whole ship infected with some virus they're transporting in the episode's uninteresting b-plot.
At least we see some much needed changes in crew assignments. LaForge is made chief engineer, Worf takes Tasha Yar's old job as head of security and Riker grows a beard. Dr. Crusher leaves off-screen to be replaced by grumpy Dr. Pulaski, who will only last one season. Alas, Wesley chooses not to accompany his mother and stays on the Enterprise. And we see a new ship's bar in Ten Forward, a nice addition, and the barkeeper Guinan, a less nice addition since I can rarely stand Whoopi Goldberg. If they already have a shrink, albeit a pretty useless one, in Troi, why the need for an ersatz shrink in Guinan?
There was a fan outcry when Gates McFadden left and I can understand that. While her Dr. Crusher wasn't that interesting, she was nice to look at (in fact I think she's the babe of
The Next Generation, not Deanna Troi even after Troi gets a much needed wardrobe upgrade here) and she has nice chemistry with Picard, although I never shipped for them. I'm torn about Katherine Pulaski. She does come off as abrasive, but that's the point and in fact makes her more human than the other humans. Still, Pulaski never integrates fully with the rest and that seals her fate when Beverly Crusher eventually returns for season three.
The silliness with the skin-tight uniforms for everyone is made evident when they have Pulaski wearing some kind of smock. Apparently her figure wasn't as suited for the unitards. In fact, most people would look dreadful in such outfits and it makes no sense to have them as uniforms. One wonders if only young and well-trained people exist in the future!
But I digress. In the end I cannot give
The Child anymore than a measly grade of
1+ on my 10-graded scale.
2-02 Where Silence Has LeaseThis episode started off good but the latter half was disappointing. There was the somewhat intriguing mystery about what that "hole" in space was, and the odd faux ship that Riker and Worf beamed onto. But the revelation was just another God-like Being™ and a sadistic one at that. Why must all beings like that be complete dicks?
I also found it unbelievable that a starship captain would just order the self-destruct like that, and then calmly retreating to his quarters to listen to some classical music. Another captain, like Kirk, would be livid, and I cannot believe that the crew would agree to that. In fact, faux Troi and faux Data made excellent points perfectly befitting what admittedly little we know of their characters, so I see no reason why Picard would think that would be out of character for them.
And I just knew that the poor redshirt at the helm would bite the dust. How transparent!
I'll give
Where Silence Has Lease a grade of
3+.
2-03 Elementary, Dear DataAs far as holodeck episodes go,
Elementary, Dear Data is not too bad. Data made a nice interpretation of Sherlock Holmes, especially once he learned what the point of such an adventure was. And the London sets were very well realised.
It is, however, also one of those Holodeck Malfunction™ episodes that will become such a tired staple of modern Trek. We saw it first in
The Big Goodbye and I suppose it would be difficult, not to mention boring, to have an episode dedicated to a perfectly functioning holodeck. Still, one has to wonder why these things are even allowed when they so easily can break down, and why there are no real safeties in place so they can be shut down from the outside, or why there even is a possibility to turn off the safeties so that people can actually be killed.
The concept of sentient holograms is indeed intriguing, and will come to its fullest realisation in the Emergency Medical Hologram on
Voyager, but really defies belief. The EMH I can accept since he gains self-awareness by virtue of being turned on for a prolonged stretch of time. But Holo-Moriarty gains sentience almost immediately. He even appears to notice the computer arch
before LaForge tells it to create an adversary that can even beat Data. Even if we accept that it was LaForge's choice of words that "created" Moriarty, it defies belief that a non-sentient computer could make a holographic character sentient. (Maybe it was just the Bynars' fault?)
It was pretty obvious that the writers were trying to re-create the old Spock-McCoy dynamic with Data and Dr. Pulaski. But it failed. Pulaski just came across as bigoted against artificial life forms like Data, and that isn't an endearing quality.
But I rather enjoyed this episode, even if I found it hard that Picard would allow such a threat to the safety of his ship to remain "alive" even if Moriarty was just stored in the computer's memory banks.
Elementary, Dear Data receives a grade of
6 out of 10 from me.
2-04 The Outrageous OkonaThe only outrageous thing about
The Outrageous Okona is how outrageously bad it is. The rogue freighter captain with a heart of gold is an unsuccessful attempt at creating a Han Solo-like character, bedding women left and right (including a young Teri Hatcher). And I can't even begin to care one iota about the star-crossed lovers he's been shuffling back and forth.
Mildly better was the b-plot with Data trying to learn what humour is with the aid of Guinan and the holodeck. But why this need right now when we've seen him struggling with humour before? Just because of a chat with Okona? In the end it felt rather sad to see Data realise he still doesn't get humour, and probably never will.
It earns its grade of
1+ just for that.
2-05 The Schizoid ManThere is nothing new or remarkable about
The Schizoid Man. We have all seen numerous Trek episodes were characters get possessed by other beings. This time it is Data who becomes the lifeline of the terminally ill but brilliant scientist Ira Graves (wonderfully played by W. Morgan Sheppard). While Spiner did a good, end creepy, interpretation of Graves, I missed Sheppard, who has certain mannerisms and especially a very distinct voice.
It was also way to obvious what had happened and Picard and the rest of the crew looked like morons for not figuring it out earlier. Graves-Data wasn't exactly discreet and they knew Graves was a molecular cyberneticist.
It was also odd that there was very little seen of Dr. Pulaski, as she has questioned whether Data is more machine than man, a question the episode deals with since Dr. Graves obviously thinks he has the right to use Data's artificial body. But at least we got to see the hot Vulcan doctor Selar (Suzie Plakson, who comes to play Worf's wife later on).
I'll give it an average grade of
5- on my 10-graded scale.
2-06 Loud as a WhisperA legendary deaf-mute peace negotiator arrives to settle a centuries long war only to find himself hampered when his creepy team of interpreters are killed. It could have been interesting, but
Loud as a Whisper is excruciatingly dull. The pacing is glacial with too much exposition. If Riva is so well-known (even Worf has heard of him) then how come no one knows that he has this "chorus"? Well, they have to explain this to the audience, that's why - for half an episode.
The other half isn't any better. Now Riva throws a tantrum that it will take a lot of effort to convince he can still be a peacemaker after all. He just has to learn the natives sign language. Colour me unimpressed. Those people don't look like they'd have the patience to do that just so they could speak to a mediator.
I can give no more than a
2- out of 10.
2-07 Unnatural SelectionI suppose every sci-fi show has to feature the Rapid Aging Syndrome™ in some form or another, and this is
The Next Generation attempt. But the problem is that it has become a cliché and an excuse to put people in bad aging makeup. At least there's just Pulaski that has to suffer through it.
Unnatural Selection is, alas, not that interesting. There is a lot of medicobabble and even more technobabble, especially towards the end when they wave the magic transporter wand to purge all infected DNA and return Pulaski to the status quo ante. That's much too convenient and one wonders why someone never thought up such a procedure before for any number of diseases, including aging. Save some DNA from when you're in your prime to use as a filter when you're old and voilà, young again. That's virtual immortality.
Another thing that wasn't even mentioned was that the genetically enhanced children they had created on the ironically named Darwin Station were superhuman, even moreso than Khan and his ilk. But that kind of genetic engineering has been outlawed in the Trekverse ever since Khan and the Eugenics Wars, and for good reason. I guess the writers just forgot that when they wrote this episode.
I'll give this a generous grade of
3.