My Star Trek origins story idea

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Kevin Thomas Riley
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My Star Trek origins story idea

Postby Kevin Thomas Riley » Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:02 pm

I posted this on another board and thought I'd share it here as well.


It's no secret that I don't care for the Abrams Trek reboot at all. But what would I have done instead? Well, first of all I wouldn't have rebooted the franchise. I would stay true to the established continuity of the Trekverse. So in order to tell an origins story, I would adhere to what's been said in canon. There are still enough unexplored time periods (except in some of the non-canon novels) that could be used to fill in a story or two. However, once things get going with the five-year mission (say, after Where No Man Has Gone Before), there wouldn't be much new things to tell apart from self-contained aliens-of-the-week stories. So I'd essentially stop there, after the first adventure on Kirk's Enterprise or at the latest just prior to WNMHGB.

I've sketched two parts that could maybe be the first and second half of a movie, or two different movies depending on plot details and story. A third part would deal with the real first adventure just after Kirk has been made Captain of the Enterprise.

The first part essentially deals with the Academy years and the first assignments for Kirk and Spock. The second part (which has one tie to the first part) takes place ten years later and deals with the heroics that made Starfleet promote Kirk to Captain.

I researched both The Star Trek Encyclopedia and Memory Alpha (and Memory Beta) to get the dates right on important events, such as when people were born. Some is conjecture. I hated that everyone were roughly the same age in Abrams Trek. This means there will be no Sulu, Uhura or Chekov in this, except maybe in the third part, as they're approximately ten years younger than Kirk.

Notable years:

Ca. 2160 The Klingon Chang is born (conjecture)
2222 Montgomery Scott is born
2223 The Federation/Klingon Cold War begins after decades of disastrous hostilities (conjecture)
2227 Leonard McCoy is born
2230 Spock is born
2233 James T. Kirk is born
2235 Gary Mitchell is born (conjecture)
2245 Enterprise is launched with Robert April as CO, George Kirk as XO
2249 Spock enrolls in Starfleet Academy (19 years old)
2250 Kirk enrolls in the Academy (17 years old), later on training mission on the USS Republic
2251 Christopher Pike becomes CO of the Enterprise
2253 Spock graduates (23 years old), assigned USS Enterprise; Kirk is a student instructor; Mitchell enrolls in the Academy
2254 Kirk graduates (21 years old), assigned USS Farragut as Tactical Officer; Enterprise experiences the incident at Talos IV (The Cage)
2255 Kirk on the Farragut at Neural
2257 Farragut crew killed, Kirk survives
2264 Kirk becomes CO of Enterprise (31 years old)
2235 The first five-year mission begins; Mitchell is killed (WNMHGB)
2267 The Organian Peace Treaty (Errand of Mercy)
2293 The Khitomer Accords (The Undiscovered Country)

More to come...
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Re: My Star Trek origins story idea

Postby Kevin Thomas Riley » Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:06 pm

The story is divided in three parts but I haven't thought out the third part yet. For part one I've shamelessly stolen some of the plot from The Academy Years, a rejected movie treatment penned by Harve Bennett and David Loughery to follow Star Trek V.


Star Trek: Origins, Part 1
By Kevin Thomas Riley

In 2250, a 17-year old James T. Kirk enrolls in Starfleet, encouraged by his father George Kirk who had briefly served as Captain Robert April's first officer when the Enterprise NCC-1701 was launched five years earlier. A Starfleet Admiral named Mallory helped young Kirk gain admission to Starfleet Academy. Another sponsor was said Captain April.

At the Academy he meets Cadet Spock, who at 19 years of age had enrolled the year before, in part to escape the prejudices his half-human heritage caused back on Vulcan, and in part to seek his own destiny after having declined admittance to the Vulcan Science Academy, much to the chagrin and disappointment of his father, ambassador Sarek.

Kirk and Spock become sort of rivals at the Academy. Kirk, while not a hell-raiser, is still cocky and impatient. Spock is this introverted and aloof genius. They're not exactly friends, although Spock intercedes when upperclassman Finnegan hazes Kirk too much. Kirk repays that later on when he intervenes to save Spock from an attack by a bullying cadet named Kalibar. Spock's Vulcan strength could've saved himself, but he held back for fear of hurting Kalibar. For that incident and others, Kalibar is expelled. This marks the beginning of a new trust and respect between Kirk and Spock.

Kalibar on the other hand gets angry. He's the son of the ruler of Azha (Eta Eridani), a non-Federation system and he had been attending the Academy as both a courtesy and as a means to forge a closer alliance between the UFP and Azha, which is strategically situated near the Klingon border.

Spock graduates in 2253 and is assigned the USS Enterprise under Captain Christopher Pike. Gary Mitchell enrolls at the Academy and befriends Kirk, who now serves as a cadet-instructor.

The following year Kirk graduates after having successfully won the infamous Kobayashi Maru training simulation. Kirk is assigned the USS Farragut under Captain Stephen Garrovick. Cadet Mitchell is temporarily assigned there too as part of a training mission similar to one that Kirk had as a Cadet on the USS Republic. The ship's junior medical officer is one Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, who, at 26 years of age, had signed up for Starfleet medical service the year before to escape some personal matters after earning his doctorate. He befriends Kirk. Suddenly there's a distress call from the USS Enterprise.

It turns out there is trouble on Azha, Kalibar's homeworld. His father, the Azharan Ruler, had tried to ally himself with the Klingons but had been overthrown in a coup. Former Azharan ambassador to the Federation Kodaris, who's been named the new First Minister and de facto ruler, is being transported from Earth back home on the Enterprise. That's when Kalibar, who leads a counter-revolt, attacks, taking advantage of what he learned while at Starfleet Academy. He demands that Kodaris be released into his custody or he will destroy the Enterprise, which has taken a severe beating.

Klingons under the command of the one-eyed Brigadier Chang is closing in to assist Kalibar while the Farragut races to aid the Enterprise. There is a bloody battle. A major war is averted when a Klingon warrior named K'Shia defects and spills Chang's battle plans to occupy Kalibar's homeworld to Starfleet. Kirk is the one who realises K'Shia's intention to defect and helps him cross over. Eventually, Kalibar is killed and his forces destroyed. The Klingons withdraw and Kodaris enters negotiations for Federation membership for Azha.
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Re: My Star Trek origins story idea

Postby Kevin Thomas Riley » Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:09 pm

And here is the second part. I stole shamelessly from a detailed synopsis of the Star Trek: Phase II episode "Kitumba". That one showed a different Klingon culture than the one we ended up with, so I had to tweak it. Kitumba was the title of the mostly ceremonial Klingon ruler. The real power was in the hands of the Warlord. This was supposed to resemble the Emperor/Shogun thing in Japanese history. In this story I use the name Kitumba for a Klingon planet.


Star Trek: Origins, Part 2
By Kevin Thomas Riley

Ten years later, the year 2264. Commander Kirk is the commanding officer of the destroyer-type vessel USS Bradley, with Lieutenant Commander Mitchell as his executive officer and his old friend McCoy as the chief medical officer.

Starfleet Intelligence has been getting disturbing reports that the Klingons are gearing up for war against the Federation again. Their only hope is to dissuade the young leader, 17-year old Dorath.

Klingons usually don't follow dynastic principles when selecting a leader of the High Council, but when Dorath's father unexpectedly died four years ago they picked his son in an effort to starve off a bloody internal conflict. An elderly warlord, Khali, was made Regent until Dorath could come of age. However, Khali has now been replaced with the belligerent General Chang who is now planning for war.

Luck would have it that K'Shia, who betrayed Chang's plans ten years ago and defected to the Federation, used to be Dorath's personal tutor and now Starfleet thinks K'Shia can convince Dorath to call off the attack. For that he must be smuggled back to Klingon space without being discovered by Chang, which is the mission given to Kirk. K'Shia trusts few people but has respect for Kirk since it was he who saved him and took care of him when he defected.

Using stealthy maneuvers the USS Bradley sneaks across the border and heads for the remote Kitumba sanctuary, a planet where Dorath spends a lot of his time away from the politics and back-stabbings that goes on on Kronos, where General Chang is Regent. They manage to make contact with Dorath, who at first is very sceptical. He's been rather indoctrinated these past ten years. But there is also a Klingon "party of peace" that fears the consequences of an all-out war. They remember what happened in the decades prior to 2223 when hostilities with the Federation became more of a cold war.

A lot of cloak-and-dagger stuff happens on Kitumba as Kirk & Co. engages Dorath and the "peace party". Khali now serves with Dorath and seems to be the leader of the peace faction. K'Shia manages to awake his former pupil's natural instincts and Dorath starts to waver. A female Klingon officer and advisor, Meral, remains unconvinced and she kills K'Shia. Meral then makes contact with Chang, who tells her to kill the interfering humans. She hesitates since Kirk is officially a prisoner and under the protection of Dorath.

Chang arrives on Kitumba and confronts Dorath, demanding that he signs the proclamation of war. When Dorath says he'll think about it, Chang realises he must act. He takes Dorath's younger brother Klunn hostage and has him brought back to Kronos. If the unspoken blackmail doesn't work, he can always kill Dorath and have him replaced with his brother. Chang, or his henchmen, makes an attempt at Dorath's life and that convinces Meral to switch sides. Chang, thinking Dorath is dead, takes off to rendezvous with his fleet and imposes a communications blackout of the Kitumba system. Despite Meral's help, Kirk isn't able to deliver Dorath's message to the rest of the Klingon Empire.

Meanwhile, Starfleet brass is becoming impatient and amasses a fleet of their own, but it's apparent that would there be war, they'd be heavily out-numbered. The Enterprise, under Fleet Captain Christopher Pike and with Spock serving as science officer and Montgomery Scott as chief engineer, leads a minor task force across the border in an attempt to outflank Chang's forces. This will also take them near the Kitumba sector.

There are some skirmishes and while Pike's task force makes one of Chang's squadrons busy, Kirk undertakes a daring warp maneuver that lands his vessel smack down in the middle of it so they can beam Dorath on board the flagship. From there Dorath orders the squadron to stand down, which comes just in the nick of time as Kirk's vessel has been crippled.

But back on Kronos, Chang has already made Klunn leader and prepares his main force for the attack on the Federation. Dorath doesn't want Starfleet forces getting involved in an internal Klingon matter, so he tells them not to follow him as he and his now loyal squadron races to the homeworld to confront Chang. But he allows Kirk, Mitchell and Spock to accompany him.

As the Klingon fleets clash Dorath, Kirk & Co are beamed down. There is some ground fighting and eventually they reach the High Council chamber. Dorath is mortally wounded by Chang but before he dies the High Council is persuaded to call off the war. Chang escapes and is removed as Regent. However, he still has enough support as to not be brought to justice. He goes into self-imposed exile to bide his time. Klunn is recognised as leader with Meral as Regent after the elderly Khali declines. An uneasy peace between the Federation and the Klingon Empire is recognised, but the fact still remains that there is little trust between the parties. The cold war continues.

Kirk & Co are picked up by the Enterprise and are escorted back into Federation space. Pike's promotion to Fleet Captain (more of a position than an actual rank) is confirmed and he steps down as Captain of the Enterprise. Starfleet recognises the value of young Kirk and at 31 years of age he's made the youngest Starfleet Captain ever as he assumes command of the Enterprise. McCoy and Mitchell follow him aboard. Starfleet declines Kirk's request of Mitchell as the XO, believing they think too much alike, and opts for Spock to fill that position while Mitchell becomes third-in-command. Chief Engineer Scott, who had been very loyal to Pike, is at first rather resentful of the new hotshot Captain.
She's got an awfully nice bum!
-Malcolm Reed on T'Pol, in Shuttlepod One

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Eian Flannagan
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Re: My Star Trek origins story idea

Postby Eian Flannagan » Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:32 am

:thumbsup: Though I did enjoy Abrams movie, this is also a great origins story in the making! :thumbsup:
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