Hello I'm Chakotay, I used to be a Starfleet officer who was a tactical instructor at Starfleet Academy. I taught some nice kids. On young girl was a Bajoran named Ro Laren, nice but with a huge chip on her shoulder. I hoped she'd work out but I didn't really believe it. She hated the Cardassians too much, let it influence EVERYTHING. Me? I didn't like them. Who did? They were a bunch of murdering space Nazi's, but duty first right. Well, that was before the Federation signed a treaty that gave them my homeworld, and they murdered daddy. So I left and joined the Maquis, Mr. Duty became a terrorist. Met Ro again still had the chip on her shoulder but mine was bigger. After all, Starfleet was full of cowards and losers and I lost my daddy. Met other women too, they made Ro look like a kitten. But of course since the I'm angry, wounded, warrior, they all flock to me. Seska yeah she was fun in a totally terrifying type of way. B'Elanna poor kid, had a crush on me and would still break my nose. Then one day I hire a pretty-boy pilot who happened to be an Admiral's kid and a drunk. Crazy? Maybe. But had to kill Cardies and teach those Starfleet morons a lesson. He didn't work out I wonder why. I thought I'd never see him again. WRONG! Pretty-boy ratted us out to Starfleet, and they came after us. JERK! Anyway while hiding out in the Badlands, this crazy alien Cartaker thingy rips uss across the galaxy. Adding insult to injury pretty-boy saves my life, and these crazy aliens with dreadlocks not from nature cripple my ship so I have to beam myself and my crew to the Starfleet ship with that sanctimonious maddeningly sexy red-headed Captain. She's scary like Seska only not like Seska this woman operates on a whole different level. So now I'm back in Starfleet WOO HOO!
I should be mad but I am all calm and wise, even more so than that Vulcan spy. See I talk to animals that aren't really there. They tell me everything I need to know, accept they forgot to mention Seska is a Cardi Space Nazi spy. BUMMER! Not only that they didn't tell me that she'd try to knock herself up with my DNA. Or come back from the dead in a holo-novel. Double Bummer. But still I am wiser and cooler than the Vulcan spy, only my sexy Captain won't admit it. Bummer. We were stranded on the planet my sexy Captain and I. I almost had her swooning with my angry warrior routine, but she sighted rules. Bummer. So I have moved on to Blond Borg chicks, the first one got into my head a bit, freaky. Too weird, and she didn't go for my angry warrior routine. Bummer. This new one she's cool, like a barbie. But if I tried my angry warrior routine on her she wouldn't get it. Bummer.
PS. At ST.com you find out Ro took Chakotay's tactical class at the Academy.