Expectations for T'Pol

[Dinah]

There are two common complaints we hear fairly frequently in regard to T'Pol: (1) she isn't Vulcan enough and (2) she behaves immaturely, especially in regard to Trip. I guess my question is are we being unfair to T'Pol?

Do we really know how a Vulcan female would behave if she had strong feelings for a human male? T'Pol is all alone on a ship with 80+ emotional humans and one overly-optimistic Denobulan. As far as we can tell, Vulcans and humans have very different mating rituals. Vulcans are betrothed as children, they generally mate for life, and the only intense emotions come with pon fahr. Humans date, they often get married and divorced multiple times, they sometimes have meaningless affairs, they have Dear Abby and other well-established support systems in place to provide help, and the successes and failures all seem to produce intense emotions -- continuously -- forever. Let's face it, humans even have trouble dealing with this hit or miss system.

Are we expecting T'Pol to behave like a mature HUMAN woman? She's completely out of her element when she tries to get closer to Trip. There are no rules for her to go by and basically no one to help her. She feels affection for him so she tries to keep him close to her, but she doesn't understand how to play the game. When he tries to get too close, she becomes frightened and pulls away. Doesn't it make sense that she would be afraid of being swallowed up by an alien culture and losing her heritage, her identity, everything that makes her who she is?

I suppose if she were the stereotypical stiff-upper-lip Vulcan, there would be no relationship with Trip or any other human. She would have gone home and married Koss. As a matter of fact, she probably wouldn't have lasted more than a couple days on the human ship before beating a hasty retreat, muttering as she went about irrational, over-emotional humans.

Are we being unfair to T'Pol? Are we expecting too much of her? Are we expecting her to behave like a mature human when she isn't human? Are we expecting her to assimilate herself into a alien culture, yet somehow remain above all those nasty human traits? Having been a fish out of water myself several times in my life, I'm beginning to think that T'Pol really did the best she could, given the circumstances. What do you think?

[Asso]

I think my next short story will have some answers for your questions.
Anyway... From your words T'Pol is the best romantic woman who has ever existed!
ABSOLUTELY... HUMAN!

[Alelou]

I think you make an excellent point, Dinah.

For me, a lot of it simply comes from sympathizing with Trip. I'm working on something with T'Pol's POV right now and it's a real stretch trying to work my way through the fourth season with her.

[Distracted]

Strangely enough (or maybe just scarily enough), I understand T'Pol's behavior, Dinah. Often I actually RECOGNIZE it as something I have done myself. (That's the scary part. )

I think your explanation for her on-again, off-again behavior regarding Trip is very reasonable. Emotions are frightening, and if you're not in sync with the rest of society regarding proper social responses (which I never seemed to be as a teen), then the world is a very scary place.

[Asso]

Well... a point is clear.
T'Pol is the better character of Enterprise!

[Lady Rainbow]

T'Pol's in uncharted territory, so to speak, as far as Trip is concerned. She's never had such strong feelings for ANYONE, Vulcan or Human. So she's basically trying to walk a fine line. Dinah, you're right in that if she was "completely Vulcan", she would've married Koss and wouldn't have lasted long on the Enterprise.

But she stayed. Why?

I think her mother mentioned that T'Pol had always had trouble with her emotional control. She also has some qualities that apply to both Vulcans and Humans: curiosity, loyalty, affection. Of course, she doesn't show it to the extent Humans do. (Plus the ENT Vulcans aren't exactly like the TOS Vulcans. At least, not until the Kir'Shara.)

As for her dealings with Trip...she's torn. She's supposed to be "a logical Vulcan" who would NEVER fall in love with a Human. On the other hand, her love is so strong, she can't ignore it. So what does she do? Try to avoid the source of the conflict, i.e. Trip. Yeah, it's hurting both of them. Yeah, from a Human POV, it's downright cruel. But T'Pol's NOT Human and we can't judge her by those values. She's unique.

[Asso]

She's unique.

She's... HUMAN!
And VULCAN!
A big problem!

[Alelou]

But the point is she's not human.

Except of course that we're all humans and the people who wrote and acted this show are humans and because we're all human we can't really make up a totally alien alien to save our lives.

[CX]

I don't think I've been too hard on her character, I've been pragmatic in how the writers destroyed her character. She should've been more mature than an adult human woman, and instead she came off like a teenaged girl. They had a really interesting opportunity to, in a way, reverse the traditional roles where Trip would've been the more openly emotional half of the couple and T'Pol could've been the more emotionally closed off half.

Instead, the writers systematically destroyed her character. Rigil would be better at discussing how in more detail than I can, but the major points are that she was made to be really stupid in Fusion by suddenly trusting Tolaris with something as intimate as a meld when it was pretty clear earlier in the episode that he creeped her out, she was shown to have cracked in the past under pressure and did it once again in The Seventh, she started using a substance that she saw first hand would destroy the Vulcan mind like it was heroin, and she continually gave Trip mixed signals (come here/go away).

Trip is a saint to have stuck around like he did - most guys would've taken off and stayed gone after she pushed him away yet again after the Kir'shara arc. I personally would've been pretty damn hurt and pissed after the stupid morning after conversation they had in Harbinger.

[blacknblue]

That's the flip side of the coin. Whether the expectations for T'Pol are too high or not, the expectations for Trip were not high enough. On screen, Trip acted like a gelded wimp.There is no kinder way of putting it. Frankly, any man who permits someone to use and abuse him the way he allowed T'Pol to yank him around deserves neither respect nor consideration. Honestly, I can't really blame T'Pol on screen for treating Trip with contempt the way she did. Contempt is all he had earned. It wasn't until he left for Columbia that he started acting like something resembling a man. Prior to that, he showed all the dignity, pride, and self-respect of an altered poodle.

[Distracted]

CX's comment highlights a common theme, IMO. Many fans, males especially (for understandable reasons) but some women, too, tend to put themselves in Trip's shoes and judge T'Pol the way they'd judge a human woman. (ie: How would I feel if a woman acted that way toward me? I'd be pissed!) Most of these same fans find it impossible to see things from T'Pol's POV because Trip's POV is just so much more familiar to them.

Believe me, guys. Speaking as a woman who has felt like a fish out of water for virtually her whole life in nearly every social situation, even for us human females sometimes the idea of emotional or physical intimacy with one of the mysterious alien creatures called men sends us screaming in the opposite direction. It's been my experience that it can be TERRIFYING to risk "joining" with a man, either legally or even just socially, and risk losing one's individuality, to risk becoming "Mrs." instead of one's own person. (The whole "take my husband's name" thing gave me fits when I was 19. ) And T'Pol is still a very young woman by Vulcan standards. If we use social maturity as a measuring stick, she ought to behave like any other young virgin when faced with the idea of a serious relationship. Running in the opposite direction, changing her mind and running back, and then changing her mind AGAIN... this is all perfectly understandable behavior.

But men don't think like us, ladies. Don't for a second even consider the possibility that they do. One of the things I really like about writing this relationship is that we have the prototype of alien interaction here and now to draw on... in the human male/female dynamic... that, admittedly, the authors could have explored in a better way... like by not making her a drug addict, for Pete's sake.

[Alelou]

I agree, they did screw up their characters on a regular basis in the short-term interest of the plot. I've never understood why she suddenly went for Tolaris after being wisely wary of him. But I can forgive some of the other stuff. People who are genuinely uncertain and conflicted do give mixed signals. Cracking under pressure happens. (However, it doesn't conveniently disappear by the next episode.) Drug addiction happens.

I agree that Trip has a patience for T'Pol that defies belief, but I think that's because at some level he really 'gets' her -- even the denial and the inner conflict. I think at some level he probably recognizes it because it's what he does himself. He's not really that open emotionally -- he pushes and nags and tries to provoke something, but he's very protective of himself too. Sim put it all out there because he had nothing to lose, but Trip never comes right out and says exactly what it is in his heart, except perhaps to T'Les of all people, and that's only because she directly confronts him. And he gets downright mean to T'Pol at the end when he's hurting badly. It's understandable -- she has certainly made him nuts with her behavior -- but I don't think it's particularly manly of him.

[Elessar]

Strangely enough (or maybe just scarily enough), I understand T'Pol's behavior, Dinah. Often I actually RECOGNIZE it as something I have done myself. (That's the scary part. )

I think your explanation for her on-again, off-again behavior regarding Trip is very reasonable. Emotions are frightening, and if you're not in sync with the rest of society regarding proper social responses (which I never seemed to be as a teen), then the world is a very scary place.

And you called my YMAM2 T'Pol emotionally immature!

[Asso]

At last, it seems to me that T'Po is great because she's a metaphor of the research. "Research of the Humanity".
Of Trip.

[JadziaKathryn]

I think you make an excellent point, Dinah.

Indeed. Especially with Trip's obvious taste for flings with alien women. Hmm.