Cogito wrote:I agree absolutely that is so, but I also maintain that relationships do exist between people and it is impossible and silly to try to prevent them completely.
Goodness! When did I EVER suggest that?! Neither I (or the US military) tries to completely prevent relationships. That would be absurd.
Please, if that is what you believe I am arguing, stop reading this right now and go back and re-read all my earlier posts. Go on, off with you! I'll wait for you here.
Back so soon? Sorry, I said re-read ALL my posts. Yes, I know the thread is eight pages long, but we must be clear about these things.
Okay, now that we're all on the same sheet of music, here (in a nutshell) is what the Army's reg says:
Relationships between soldiers of different rank are prohibited if they:
(1) Compromise, or appear to compromise, the integrity of supervisory authority or the chain of command.
(2) Cause actual or perceived partiality or unfairness.
(3) Involve, or appear to involve, the improper use of rank or position for personal gain.
(4) Are, or are perceived to be, exploitative or coercive in nature.
(5) Create an actual or clearly predictable adverse impact on discipline, authority, morale, or the ability of the command to accomplish its mission.
I'm having a hard time understanding why so many people seem to have an objection to this. You must remember that in the military (unlike the civilian workforce), the needs of the unit come before the needs of the individual. The first priority is to accomplish the mission. If a leader puts his own needs first then he is not a fit leader, and any leader that enters into an intimate relationship with a subordinate is putting his OWN needs above that of his unit. Am I really the only one on this board who can see this?
Cogito wrote:no matter how fairly and reasonably you act, there will always be people who think the world is out to get them, or are willing to jump up and claim unfair treatment when it benefits them.
That is true. But even further, no matter how fairly and reasonably you act, you will sometimes have to make decisions that even *reasonable* people would conclude are unfair. It's unavoidable. Quick example: You have two soldiers in your command who are eligible for promotion but there is only one position to fill. Both soldiers have similar qualifications, but one of them is your lover. Who do you pick? If you pick the lover, isn't everyone in the world going to suspect favoritism? And if you pick the other guy to avoid that scenario, haven't you just done an injustice to the soldier who happens to share your bed? Either way you are causing a problem, and that's why I think it's best to avoid such relationships in the first place.