Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby aadarshinah » Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:40 am

Silverbullet wrote:I agree with Alelou that T'Pol might not tell her Mother about the Drug addiction but she may have thought her Mother would be willing to listen to what T'Pol had to tell he about how she got the Syndrome and be sympathetic efen if she knew that Vulcans considered an abberation no matter that T'Pol hd been mind Raped and got the syndrome that way.


There have been times in Earth's history and still are places today where rape is considered the woman's fault - because she, of course, was "asking" for it. And admiting the pa'nar is admiting to the meld. Again, Vulcan may be different, but, T'Pol did ask to try the meld. Yes, she asked to end it too and Tolaris didn't listen, but given that V'Las' High Command kicked Soval out for doing a mind-meld, it's likely the only part that any Vulcan would latch onto there would be "she asked for the meld," which would be all the more reason to lock her away in a nice, safe marriage where she'd be away from annoying human influences and other melders.

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Rigil Kent » Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:30 am

aadarshinah wrote:Then add in the fact that T'Les is in this mess because of T'Pol

Really? I seem to recall Archer ordering T'Pol to give Shran the P'Jem data. She didn't volunteer it. Thus, technically, T'Les is in this mess because of the captain, not because of T'Pol.
Not only is T'Pol's marriage to Koss internally consistant (for the most part) with the charectors/cultures, ect of the Trekverse

Disagree. It clashes with what was established in season 1's "Breaking the Ice" wherein T'Pol is ordered home to marry within a certain timeframe or the marriage is off. Plus, there's the whole inconsistency with Koss apparently being in his 60s and not having had a pon farr, whereas Spock has one in his 30s but actually thought he managed to avoid it since he's half-human, thus implying male Vulcans have their first PF much earlier than 30, which is backed up by Genesis!Spock having his PF w/Saavik before he reached the physical (but not chronological) age of 20 or so. Ironically, most of those plot threads could have been resolved by dropping in a single line somewhere where we discover T'Pol had a husband/fiancee prior to Koss (perhaps the guy died before PF-1), and this ... arrangement between her & Koss is actually a new one (since Koss' 1st mate has died and his Time is approaching.) But alas, they actually didn't put that much thinking into the whole mess (and IMO? It showed.)

Me, I'm in the camp that the whole marriage plot was so obviously a "punt" move - throw in the sudden marriage so the writers can avoid an actual Human/Vulcan relationship in lieu of even more will-they-won't-they angst - that it kind of irks me more than it should now (and negatively affects my enjoyment of season 4.) Factor in their (the showrunner's) complete failure to develop any sort of internal logic for Koss & his family's actions (unless they are Syrannites, a plot twist that is never established at any point in the show's narrative or even implied in any fashion, there is no logical reason whatsoever for her family to want a single thing to do with T'Pol (not with her reputation as a renegade human-lover who apparently "went native"), and tying their family to her is patently illogical - what happens if she passes on these clear (to Vulcans) genetic "defects" (curiosity, intransigence, lack of appropriate emotional control, etc.) to any potential offspring she has with Koss?) - so the whole plot device was a failure in my eyes just like Trip's silly transfer to Columbia.)

Lord, how I longed to have seen a well thought out Vulcan/Human relationship that was just thrown together at the last minute. Maybe one that didn't rely on all of the usual (and inane) television tropes...

But alas...
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby aadarshinah » Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:33 am

Rigil Kent wrote:Really? I seem to recall Archer ordering T'Pol to give Shran the P'Jem data. She didn't volunteer it. Thus, technically, T'Les is in this mess because of the captain, not because of T'Pol.


T'Pol could have still refused the order, or, even better, never brought Enterprise to P'Jem in the first place. Not saying I agree witht the logic T'Pol is guilty, but you can certainly twist it to make it that way.

As for the internal consistancy, yes the details are all wrong based off of what we know from TOS, but big ticket items - Vulcans have arranged marriages that are hard to get out of, Vulcans are big on duty; Trip was never likely to actually do anything like interupt the wedding, however much he might want to - still apply.

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Alelou » Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:15 am

The age thing is the only issue that really rankles for me -- Koss in particular looks like in his 40's in human years. If they had to find a way to stretch out that the suspense in that relationship -- and they probably did, for fear of a further ratings fall-off -- I thought "Home" was a pretty interesting way to do it. (And, of course, I do subscribe to the Syrannite theory.)

I didn't mind Trip going to Columbia, either. It's the way they got him back that looked kind of stupid to me.

However, I had the very great luxury of not having to suffer through this thing in real time, week to week. I'm very thankful I wasn't a fan when the show was actually airing. I'm sure it was painful and frustrating.
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby aadarshinah » Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:42 am

Alelou wrote:It's the way they got him back that looked kind of stupid to me.


What, you didn't love the high-suspence transwarp personnel transfer? :lol:

Looking back over the transcripts for "Breaking the Ice," it only ever says T'Pol was a kid when the marriage was arranged. Nothing about how old Koss was:

T'POL: We haven't spoken in many years. Marriages on Vulcan are arranged during childhood. I've only met Koss four times.
TUCKER: How can you be in love with a guy you've only met four times?
T'POL: It's assumed that we'd eventually develop an affection for one another.
TUCKER: So his parents send you an ultimatum? He doesn't have a say?
T'POL: His parents planned the union. It's their decision.
TUCKER: Boy. Where I come from, arranged marriages went out with slavery.
T'POL: Are you going to give me advice or criticize my people's tradition.
TUCKER: I'm still a little fuzzy on why they threatened to call it off in the first place.
T'POL: The ceremony was supposed to take place next week. When I decided to remain on Enterprise I requested a postponement. Koss's parents were insulted that I would put off our plans to serve on a human vessel.
TUCKER: Well, Vanik can take you home. Why don't you go marry Koss, then come back?
T'POL: It's customary for a husband and wife to reside together for at least one Vulcan year.
TUCKER: Maybe he can come to Enterprise.
T'POL: He's an architect. It would be illogical for him to live aboard a starship.
TUCKER: This whole thing sounds illogical.
T'POL: Your advice, Commander.
TUCKER: What do you want to do?
T'POL: That is irrelevant.
TUCKER: No, it's not. It's very relevant. Do you want to go back and marry this guy, spend a year with him, ten years, a hundred years, or do you want to stay on Enterprise?
T'POL: I have an obligation.
TUCKER: You've got an obligation to yourself. You've spent the last year around humans. If there's one thing you should have learned it's that we're free to make our own decisions. There's a lot to be said for personal choice.
T'POL: If you'd spent the last year on Vulcan, you would have learned that our commitment to tradition outweighs personal choice.
TUCKER: I respect your customs, but this marriage was arranged when you were a kid. A lot's happened since then. People change.
T'POL: Vulcan's don't.
TUCKER: Really.
T'POL: My obligation is to my culture, my heritage. It has to take precedence.


In "Home," all it says is:

T'LES: I don't know why you're surprised. This was planned years ago. There's more to life than one's profession. Perhaps you'll learn that one day. It seems that I'm not the only one who knew you were coming. You received this yesterday.


I guess I might be nitpicking, but they never do come out and say how old Koss was during all of this. Perhaps, given this and how old he looked in "Home," he was older than T'Pol. Take that to mean he was previously married or survived at least one pon farr through meditation or whatever, but... it might be something for why Koss was so willing to negotiate the terms of their marriage in the first place.

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Rigil Kent » Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:38 pm

aadarshinah wrote:
Rigil Kent wrote:Really? I seem to recall Archer ordering T'Pol to give Shran the P'Jem data. She didn't volunteer it. Thus, technically, T'Les is in this mess because of the captain, not because of T'Pol.


T'Pol could have still refused the order

At a time when her commanding officer and the rest of the crew blatantly distrusted her, and they had just discovered evidence of Vulcan duplicity? I think not. Since she was the first officer of the ship (a position obviously agreed to by SFC and the VHC, otherwise she'd be listed as AWOL by the latter), she was required to obey her commander's orders or face court-martial. Could she have argued the point? Sure, but Archer never listened to her anyway and would have ignored any & all of her arguments (as he did before and would continue to do so, all the way into *the_abomination*) so her disobeying a direct order would have accomplished squat.
or, even better, never brought Enterprise to P'Jem in the first place.

I don't see how that can even be contorted to become her fault. Ultimately, where they went was Archer's decision (and Starfleet's), not hers.
aadarshinah wrote:Looking back over the transcripts for "Breaking the Ice," it only ever says T'Pol was a kid when the marriage was arranged. Nothing about how old Koss was:

Semantics. You'll note in your quoted dialogue that it states his parents arranged the union. If he was previously married, he would logically be considered an adult ... yet he needs his parents to arrange a new marriage? Illogical.

As with the "he's in his 60s & still hasn't had a PF," you're having to plug gaping plot holes with wild speculation and contorted logic to make sense of the senseless, none of which is actually supported in any way by canon. That's a failing in the writing. A big failing.

And I didn't think Koss looked that much older than T'Pol myself.
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby honeybee » Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:36 pm

My sense was that T'Pol was blamed for the destruction of P'Jem because she was unable to stop Archer from telling the Andorians about the listening station, and that knowledge led the Andorians to destroy P'Jem. For whatever reason, the Vulcans thought T'Pol should have been able to stop Archer, which is just silly since nobody was ever able to stop Archer from doing anything.

This was, in fact, one of the few early times when I thought Archer was in the right. He did a huge diplomatic favor for a race that Earth had just met and had no qualms with. This was an expression of diplomatic independence from the Vulcans, which was in the long run a good thing for Earth. Archer's friendship with Shran served Earth's interests more than once.

It was made pretty clear that Vulcan was violating the treaty, and they were the ones using their sacred monastery for military/intelligence purposes. The Vulcans (I'm assuming the V'Shar) put the big, red target on P'Jem, not Archer or T'Pol. The Andorians knew what was up, Archer just gave them proof. It is complicated by the fact that Earth probably owed some loyalty to the Vulcans and intelligence can be a dirty business and sometimes lines need to be crossed, but the Vulcans didn't trust or make their case to the humans - they lied. Even T'Pol, a former V'Shar agent, was shocked at that they would not only lie but use a sacred monastery as cover.

In other words, the Vulcans were a-holes for blaming T'Pol. She and T'Les were scapegoats.
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Silverbullet » Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:55 pm

Enterprise was at P'Jen because Archer was captain and he ordered it.

T'Pol cCOULD have erased the PAAD before she handed it to Shran or simply dashed it on the floor breaking it so it would be useless. She could tell Archer that she would not betray her Planet or species by helping the Andorians and saying she would rather be tried for disobediance than for treason by her own people. Obviously the writers didn't want that to happen.

That damned letter. T'Les says "Obviously I am not the onl one who knew you were returning" How did Koss know? I am pretty sure from the dialogue in the Episode T'Pol would not have told him she was returning as she indicated she wanted nothing to do with him and did not want to see him again so it would be illogical for her to write to tell him she was returning. The only way he would know is that Mother told him. T'Pol probably told T'Les when she wrote to say she was rturning: "Don't say anything to Koss about my return." So the letter has always been a sticking point for me and an indication that Mother was in league with Koss and family to coerce T'Pol in to the marriage.
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby honeybee » Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:01 pm

Well, we're going to have to disagree. I say the Vulcans who turned P'Jem into a military installation and violated the treaty were the betrayers. Not T'Pol. By showing honesty in front of the Andorians, she sent a message that all Vulcans are not liars and would not support the violation of a treaty. In later episodes, Shran shows respect for her in this, and I believe that has value.

I don't think T'Pol betrayed anyone by allowing the truth to come to light. On the other hand, I think she was betrayed in that some of her people would violate an important treaty, lie to her about it and use a sacred religious space for military purposes.
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Brandyjane » Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:06 pm

Rigil Kent wrote:
Not only is T'Pol's marriage to Koss internally consistant (for the most part) with the charectors/cultures, ect of the Trekverse

Disagree. It clashes with what was established in season 1's "Breaking the Ice" wherein T'Pol is ordered home to marry within a certain timeframe or the marriage is off. Plus, there's the whole inconsistency with Koss apparently being in his 60s and not having had a pon farr, whereas Spock has one in his 30s but actually thought he managed to avoid it since he's half-human, thus implying male Vulcans have their first PF much earlier than 30, which is backed up by Genesis!Spock having his PF w/Saavik before he reached the physical (but not chronological) age of 20 or so.


I agree with you. Although I kind of like having T'Pol be the oldest one on the ship, there are times when I think they messed up when they decided she should be in her 60s. The whole marriage/pon farr thing in particular has always seemed off to me.

Ironically, most of those plot threads could have been resolved by dropping in a single line somewhere where we discover T'Pol had a husband/fiancee prior to Koss (perhaps the guy died before PF-1), and this ... arrangement between her & Koss is actually a new one (since Koss' 1st mate has died and his Time is approaching.) But alas, they actually didn't put that much thinking into the whole mess (and IMO? It showed.)


Again, I totally agree with you. In fact, if T'Pol had been previously married and had a bad experience, it could explain why she is so reluctant to go back home to marry Koss. I still say that at the point "Breaking the Ice" takes place she would need more reason than just liking her job to go against her culture and stay aboard Enterprise. In that episode she says, "Marriages on Vulcan are arranged during childhood." Isn't it possible that she was speaking in very general terms about what usually takes place? She is reluctant to share her problem with anyone, even Trip, and she might not want to volunteer her whole life story. Even though they're both adults, I can see how in a very conservative culture, Koss and T'Pol's parents might still be in charge of arranging new marriages for them if their spouses died.

Me, I'm in the camp that the whole marriage plot was so obviously a "punt" move - throw in the sudden marriage so the writers can avoid an actual Human/Vulcan relationship in lieu of even more will-they-won't-they angst - that it kind of irks me more than it should now (and negatively affects my enjoyment of season 4.) Factor in their (the showrunner's) complete failure to develop any sort of internal logic for Koss & his family's actions (unless they are Syrannites, a plot twist that is never established at any point in the show's narrative or even implied in any fashion, there is no logical reason whatsoever for her family to want a single thing to do with T'Pol (not with her reputation as a renegade human-lover who apparently "went native"), and tying their family to her is patently illogical - what happens if she passes on these clear (to Vulcans) genetic "defects" (curiosity, intransigence, lack of appropriate emotional control, etc.) to any potential offspring she has with Koss?) - so the whole plot device was a failure in my eyes just like Trip's silly transfer to Columbia.)


I don't think Koss's parents did want him to marry T'Pol. (I have nothing in cannon to back that up, though.) I think Koss and T'Les were the only ones pushing it. Perhaps Koss's parents decided to go along with it since she was there on Vulcan and Koss wanted it, but weren't enthusiastic about their future daughter-in-law. T'Les wanted her daughter to settle down and be "normal." I'll give T'Les the benefit of the doubt and assume that she really did want what was best for her daughter, though I really don't like the woman that much. I finally saw "Awakening" yesterday and I couldn't believe my ears when, as she was dying, she pretty much seemed to say, "You're a screwup who can't keep her emotions in check. I joined this crazy cult to help you and now I'm dying. Oh, yeah, I am proud of you." I really did not like Koss at all in "Home" - he was too cold - but after seeing "Kirshara," I feel bad for the guy. For a supposedly emotionless Vulcan, he seemed sad as he left her. I think he really did want T'Pol to be his wife. They should have killed him off in some noble, horribly tragic way that would make all of us feel bad for despising him so much after "Home." :twisted:

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Rigil Kent » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:45 pm

honeybee wrote:This was, in fact, one of the few early times when I thought Archer was in the right. He did a huge diplomatic favor for a race that Earth had just met and had no qualms with.

We'll definitely have to disagree there. It was a listening post, not a forward assault base or resupply cache or anything like that, and given the Andorian clear belligerence in pretty much everything, it frankly seems both logical and intelligent to want to keep an eye on them and what they were doing. Could they have picked a better spot? Probably, but a listening post is not a precursor for invasion, but can be legitimately argued as a defensive installation. Earth & Vulcan were allies at the time, the humans had just met the Andorians and knew exactly squat about them, so Archer's decision to turn over intel like that to a completely unknown element (the Andorians) not only should have resulted in major Human/Vulcan fallout back on Earth, it should have also resulted in him being court-martialed. It doesn't matter that the Vulcans were violating a treaty there - and does anyone seriously believe that the Andorians weren't doing the same? - he screwed over an Earth ally (once again, his anti-Vulcan bigotry seemed to overrule his common sense) and should have been punished for it no matter that it ultimately paid positive dividends down the road. But, since crap never stuck to him on the show thanks to substandard writing, T'Pol was the one who suffered the fallout (several times, if I recall correctly.)
Brandyjane wrote:I agree with you. Although I kind of like having T'Pol be the oldest one on the ship, there are times when I think they messed up when they decided she should be in her 60s. The whole marriage/pon farr thing in particular has always seemed off to me.

It also annoyed me that she was the oldest one (unless Phlox was older, which is never really established - I know in my Endeavour stuff, I stated that he was but that's just 'cause I liked the idea) yet was consistently written as less mature than a teenager at times.
Again, I totally agree with you. In fact, if T'Pol had been previously married and had a bad experience, it could explain why she is so reluctant to go back home to marry Koss.

It could also go a long way toward explaining why she's so weird around Trip in regards to a relationship. In my ideal world, she married her first mate when he went into pon farr for the first time (before they were twenty), and they were together for at least one or two more mating cycles. Being a more emotional than normal Vulcan, she loved him more than was entirely appropriate in her culture, and when he died, it hit her hard. As ENT begins, she's only just getting over it, and knowing how badly this hurt, it explains why she's so reticent about getting involved with a short-lived human.

And just to be ironic, I'd have her first mate have died exactly nine months to the day before Trip was born. :)
I still say that at the point "Breaking the Ice" takes place she would need more reason than just liking her job to go against her culture and stay aboard Enterprise.

Indisputably. The rest of the crew are still being jackasses to her (albeit less so than before), so I maintain she simply didn't want to marry Koss. And given how he later blackmailed her into the marriage, I can see why.
In that episode she says, "Marriages on Vulcan are arranged during childhood." Isn't it possible that she was speaking in very general terms about what usually takes place? She is reluctant to share her problem with anyone, even Trip, and she might not want to volunteer her whole life story. Even though they're both adults, I can see how in a very conservative culture, Koss and T'Pol's parents might still be in charge of arranging new marriages for them if their spouses died.

I seem to recall them later having a line or two somewhere ("Home"?) that confirms she's been engaged to Koss since 7, but I could be mistaken. It's been a while since I even bothered watching an episode (any episode.)
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Brandyjane » Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:53 pm

I like the way you think, Rigil.

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Rigil Kent » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:22 pm

Whoa ... you like hot, Israeli women too? :mrgreen:
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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Brandyjane » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:33 pm

Rigil Kent wrote:Whoa ... you like hot, Israeli women too? :mrgreen:


Who doesn't? Of course, I like my husband more! :lol:

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Re: Arranged marriages and Vulcan arranged marriages

Postby Silverbullet » Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:07 pm

Honeybee, What Treaty? In the beginning of the episode Archer says he doesn't kow anything about Vulcans/andorians. So how does he know about a Treaty. Damned writers threw that in.

Okay, Rigel is right. The thing was a listening post on the Vulcan side of the border. What was in it is none of Andorias business. Doubt very much if Vulcans would tie thier hands by making a treaty banning a listening post anywhere.

There probably were listening posts all along both sides of the common border. It is sound military logic to have listening post. To monitor troop movements, ship movements, building of things like logistic bases. Plus (big pplus) getting copies of the other sides Encrypted messages. Your cryptographic analyists can attempt to break the other sides Crypto systems that way. The Andorians would undooutedly have a listening ppost in a building as valuable to them as the monestary is to the Vulcans. Shran was a Rogue. If he had gone to his Intelligence and said he thought the Vulcans had a listening post in the Monnestary he would have been told, yes they do. We know about it. Leave it alone better one we know about than one we don't. There is no way that Either the Vulcans or the andorias would tie thier hands by such a treaty. It would be very stupid. Listening posts are a valuable military tool and both Vulcan and Andoria were watching one another closely and were militarily waiting. Listening post also can give a slight early warning of an attack.

Aside: U.S and the Soviet Union had listening posts all along the common borders all over the world. No way would either have signed a treaty banning them.

The writers of the Series either did not do thier research or ignored it.

The vulcan swere not being dishonorable by having a listening post in the Monestary they were being smart and no way would the sign a treaty banning it. Archer not knowing anything at the beginning of the Episode could not know about a treaty at the end of the Episode. Another example of sloppy writing and jamming in something to suit the writers.

T'Pol was not upholding the honor of Vulcan by giving Shran that PAAd she was betraying her planet. there was no evidence except what Archer all of a sudden come up with about a Treaty. Shran certaintly didn't mention it at any time in the Episode and that would have given him a legimitate excuse for what he was doing.
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