"The Understanding"

[crystalswolf]

Ah, my ears were burning. Now I know why.

Ezinma88, here's the deal. Aquarius put an end to a situation that I should have squashed much earlier! It was my fault that it came to this because I indulged those that were behaving against my wishes stated in the first post.

The only thing I asked was to respect everyone's opinions, more specifically to respect my opinions as I respect others. If you read my story, it's not your thing, and you want to voice why, that is respectful. If you read my story, it's not your thing, and you want to voice why over and over again, then it's disrespectful. If you want to pop into this thread just to say you don't want to read this story, disrespectful. If you want to pass your opinion as canon without anything other than opinion to back it up (thus saying your opinion is more important than mine), disrespectful.

BTW, I find when someone tries to pass their opinion as more important than mine, it's a personal attack. period.

I have to ask you how respectful is it to know it is chapter 1 of a story and expect everything to be explained in that first chapter. Now, if you read the entire story and don't think I adequately described their reasons or do not agree THEN say something, please. This first chapter was originally stand alone until others asked for more information. That information is in the next chapters. If you choose not to read the rest of the story, that's fine too, but then you give up the right to tell me how I could not explain their reasons adequately.

pdsldl did nothing wrong. Neither did you, until now (see paragraph above). And if it wasn't for Aquarius, I would have continued to indulge the misbehavior of a few... perhaps if it continued I might have been provoked enough to go against my own request of respecting all.

If you have a problem with any of this please PM me and I'll be more than happy to continue the discussion.

It was a hard lesson learned, but from here on I have to speak up if someone does not honor my first post. And from here on, I will.

[honeybee]

Well, I can say I'm enjoying the new section of "The Understanding" despite my inherent bias against Koss. I really enjoyed the goodbye scene in part 1, which is currently posted. I had the pleasure of helping beta it - and even though I don't agree with CW on everything in the story - she's really thought her premise through and that makes it a great read.

[crystalswolf]

This is in response to panyasan's comment. This is only to shed some light on the story as I see it. It won't change hearts and minds but just give a little more insight into the motivation that I see "behind-the-scenes"

The short version is that at the point before the marriage, T'Pol is hanging on by a thread. She's lost pretty much her world in the last six months (mother, daughter, and lover and if you think about it) and after learning Trip is alive only to have him leave just as quickly with little chance of coming back is very little comfort in her condition mentally and physically. Not to mention, the clock is ticking on what to do.

I guess my perception of T'Pol's connection with her people a little different. She never struck me as not caring what they thought but doing what she wished within the realm of plausible deniability. I always saw her loving her culture and her people very much as well as careful of what they thought of her (whether for personal benefit or for that of her extended family). There was conflict when she realized her people's serious flaws and wanted to take a stand.

In the story she wants to shelter the baby because she sees it as all she has left. She's lost her past completely, her present is shaky at best and she's holding on to her future with bloody fingernails. Not so much from being judged but for safety.

Koss is a tragic figure in this but not as much as you would think and not all is exactly as it seems. Remember this is T'Pol's POV and she chooses to focus on T'Mir and Trip.

As for Trip's acceptance of the situation, I can't really go into that just yet.

Edit: just remembered she did get to say goodbye to her mother.

[panyasan]

Thanks CW for your response. I agree with you that T'Pol cares a lot about Vulcan, Vulcan culture and being "a good Vulcan", but I find she is also able to make a stand against certain elements in Vulcan culture if she thinks they are injust and especially when it comes to Vulcan prejudices. You see this in Breaking the ice, in Stigma, in the P'Jem episode and in the Vulcan arc in season 4 to name a couple of episodes. So for me it is hard to understand why some one who has been against Vulcan prejudice her entire life would base a life changing decision merely on those prejudice or fear of prejudice.
As for protecting her child and her stress - I fully understand. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and pregnant at the same time. I only wonder if having a relationship with two husbands is a good (and logical) way to protect your child. It certainly complicates the life of the child and add difficuties T'Pol is trying to avoid, but I like that you have a whole background story to go with your story. And your T'Mir as I saw in the first chapter is just a child you can not help to love.

[honeybee]

Well, to diverge a little from the specifics of CWs story, I can say that plural marriage evolved in multiple cultures over the years - far more often to protect and strengthen the situation for the children. Too often, those original intentions were lost in misogyny, especially when it's a man with multiple wives.

But I recently spoke to a friend of my from India, and apparently plural marriage between a woman and two men has long been practiced in certain villages depending on what branch of Hinduism they practice. The British, though they had worked to ban polygamy in the Middle East, often didn't recognize what was going on because they were used to f/m/f plural marriages instead. Apparently, the m/f/m type plural marriage is still practiced - and the idea behind it is that if something happens to one husband - there will be another to step forward and care for both the wife and the children. Plus with two "breadwinners" - the family's finances become stronger.

Although, I'm suddenly thinking of Dale/Nancy/John Redcorn from "King of the Hill" -

In the Arab world, originally men were allowed to take to wives as a way of protecting widows - it was encouraged for a man, married or not, to marry is brother's widow and take care of the family.

Now, let me be clear, plural marriages don't often work the way they are intended - and didn't always manifest on the upside. I'm not advocating it - I'm just piping up that it was often designed to protect rather than harm families

Because, as I think we will see as CWs story progresses - you can't control your feelings and one on one marriage is complicated enough. Methinks this isn't going to work out too well.

[Aquarius]

My phone won't let me leave comments in the archive, so I thought I'd leave them here. Wow, what an emotional roller coaster! I got caught up on the 3 parts of T'Pol's chapter this morning and what strikes me most is the glimmer of hope amidst all the hard decisions that had to be made. I also really liked the touch of Trip and T'Mir having their secrets. Still wondering if you went a little soft on Koss, but I am enjoying the hell out of this so far and I'm hoping for another update soon. You know it's a good story when you have a hard time shifting back into the real world when you're done reading.

[honeybee]

Well. . .I'll get the last installment of Chapter 4 up in a bit. . .all for you Aquarius.

[Aquarius]

I feel so loved.

[crystalswolf]

Thanks CW for your response. I agree with you that T'Pol cares a lot about Vulcan, Vulcan culture and being "a good Vulcan", but I find she is also able to make a stand against certain elements in Vulcan culture if she thinks they are injust and especially when it comes to Vulcan prejudices. You see this in Breaking the ice, in Stigma, in the P'Jem episode and in the Vulcan arc in season 4 to name a couple of episodes. So for me it is hard to understand why some one who has been against Vulcan prejudice her entire life would base a life changing decision merely on those prejudice or fear of prejudice.

We so agree on this. Where I think I differ is to what extent that T'Pol will stand up for causes. I envision her ready to do what's right at the drop of a hat so long as she is the target of the possible consequences. When it may hurt someone else (especially someone she loves) she will back down. She gave up Trip and the freedom to choose her own path when marrying Koss (since this is my story's thread let me add "the first time around") to protect her mother. And that was only her mother's job.

As for protecting her child and her stress - I fully understand. I have been suffering from post traumtic stress and pregnant at the same time.

I'm sorry. I'll send positive thoughts your way! I remember what it was like to be completely stressed out and pregnant.

I only wonder if having a relationship with two husbands is a good (and logical) way to protect your child. It certainly complicates the life of the child and add difficuties T'Pol is trying to avoid, but I like that you have a whole background story to go with your story. And your T'Mir as I saw in the first chapter is just a child you can not help to love.

I'm actually drawing elements of the story from a f/m/m relationship I once knew. At its best, it was surprisingly the most nurturing environment ever for a child, but at its worst it was devastating for all. I take what made such a relationship work and what didn't then put into the mix what I think Koss, T'Pol, & Trip would do.

Dale/Nancy/John Redcorn

The next chapter (Trip's) is all in my head. It's going to be mostly "fill in the gaps" information that was not a priority in T'Pol's POV but would be in his. Things like why he changed his mind (so quickly), more details of the relationship Koss and Trip have (not sexual), T'Mir's reaction to her human heritage, etc.

The truth is that I'm not sure how I want to resolve the pon farr. I have two possible outcomes and a third possibility that's less likely but still in the running. Each has a complete story attached to it. My head's going to

[Alelou]

You could write one and then write an AU to your AU...

[crystalswolf]

Let's see...

2 DitL stories
2 non-TnT stories
Next chapter of tU
with 2 alternate story lines.

I suddenly have the image of me in one of the rooms with my laptop lighting up my zombie-like face.

[Alelou]

LOL. Invasion of the Alternative Universe Fanfic-Writing Zombies...

They take your straight-up romances and turn them into FREAKISH MONSTERS!!! ArghHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[crystalswolf]

more like

[Aquarius]

Awesome!

[Distracted]

LOL. Invasion of the Alternative Universe Fanfic-Writing Zombies...

They take your straight-up romances and turn them into FREAKISH MONSTERS!!! ArghHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Speaking of which... has anyone read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? I hear it's disturbing and hysterical. I haven't been able to bear the idea of reading it yet.