The Talk

By Bluetiger

Rating: PG

Genres: challenge humour

Keywords: challenge

This story has been read by 963 people.
This story has been read 1482 times.

he Talk


By: bluetiger




Rating: PG

Genres: humor





Summary: Trip and T'Pol discuss beginning a sexual relationship.

Author's Note: This is a response to the 'Barefoot' challenge. The story begins one week after T'Pol asks Trip to marry her as shown in 'You Are Cordially Invited.' In my little universe we are ignoring 'Harbinger.' The forum discussion about Trip and T'Pol having a talk before sex was the thought behind this.




Charles Tucker the Third was sitting on a mat in the gym. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Trip was barefoot with his legs spread into a V shape. The woman that had proposed to him a week ago was in front of him. T'Pol was wearing a tank top and shorts. Trip could feel the heat of T'Pol's tiny little feet as they pressed against his much larger ones. They reached for each other's hands and began Trip's stretching exercise. The young engineer was having a heck of a time getting his leg back in optimal shape. His left leg had been severely broken in a motorcycle accident several weeks ago and even with Phlox's excellent care and the help of more than one bug and slug, he still had to have daily therapy. The fact that his beautiful wife-to-be volunteered to be his partner eased his aggravation somewhat. It was early in the morning and the couple had the room to themselves.

Trip groaned as T'Pol pulled him far forward, stretching his calf muscle. They proceeded through the prescribed routine that the doctor had laid out. T'Pol eventually signaled for her mate to roll over onto his stomach, and then sat on his behind as she worked his leg.

"You know, it sure didn't take me long to get used to waking up with your warm little body in my arms," Trip said with a wince as, he felt, she tried to re-break his leg.

"I likewise have become accustomed to the added heat that you provide me at night. It has been many years since my feet have stayed warm all night."

The two spent most nights together alternating between quarters. They had yet to make love however, as Trip wanted his leg fully healed first. It wasn't that they couldn't have sex and not reinjure his leg, but Trip really wanted to be able to put his best foot forward, so to speak. Trip was also of the mind that they needed to have a long talk about their relationship before anything physical occurred. T'Pol rose from straddling his bottom.

"Please proceed to the weight machine, Trip. I think fifty repetitions today."

"Are you trying to kill me?" Trip grumbled. However he dutifully began his leg lifts.

"T'Pol, may I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever had intimate relations with a man before?"

T'Pol tilted her head and looked Trip straight in the eyes. "You are my bondmate; there has been no man before you. It is not generally our way to engage in intimate relations with one who will not be your mate for life. Although I have heard that it has been known to happen infrequently."

"That's sorta what I thought, but I needed to ask."

"Does this bother you?"

"No... only it means we need to take things slowly and make sure you're ready."

"I have done research on the matter and believe I have an understanding of things."

Trip smiled, "Oh, been reading up have you?"

"The text was not informative enough so I watched a film called 'Debbie Does the Delta Quadrant'. I actually saw two things that had never occurred to me before."

The leg weight fell to the floor with a clank as Trip's face paled. "You watched bad porn to get information on sexual relations?!"

"As I said, the text was not informative enough."

Now Trip really began to sweat. "Darlin', I seriously doubt that what you saw was a very accurate representation of making love."

"Please resume your exercise; I realize that the film took some liberties with reality."

Trip gave a nervous chuckle, "Good."

"I knew it was not representative of reality when I noticed that the men were not as well endowed as you."

A sudden coughing fit seized Trip and a blush spread over his face. When he was able to draw breath again, he asked softly, "And how exactly would you know that?"

T'Pol looked at her bondmate and raised an eyebrow. Trip could swear she was laughing at him in her own Vulcan way. "You were never quite as clever at hiding your arousal during our more intense neuropressure sessions as you believed yourself to be."


T'Pol continued, "It is difficult to have such a larger thing pressed against you and not get a feel for its size."

Trip interrupted her musings, "I get it!" Trying to ease away from the topic of his dimensions, he asked, "So according to your research are we going to be compatible?"

"Most humanoid species are sexually compatible which is why the Orions make so much profit from the trade of female slaves. However, it is not always the case. For instance, you would not be compatible with a Tellarite female."

T'Pol's mate laughed out loud, "So you're telling me that I should mark sex with a Tellarite woman off my 'List of Things to Do Before I Die'."

Moving in very close to Trip's face, T'Pol stated in no uncertain terms, "If having sex with any woman other than me is on your 'List of Things to Do Before You Die' it better be marked off or you may die sooner than you expect."

Trip leaned forward and gave his mate a quick kiss, "Yes ma'am. Truthfully, there are only three things on that list. Marry the most beautiful Vulcan woman in the world, have several highly intelligent children, and build a Warp 7 engine."

T'Pol pondered this for a moment, "As you are fond of saying that sounds doable." She began to make the proper setting on the next piece of equipment Trip would need to complete his therapy for the day. "So should we plan to have intercourse the day Phlox releases you?"

"No...I mean that's not something that you schedule like a haircut. We'll know when the time is right." Trip limped over to the woman he loved whole heartedly and took her in his arms. "I envision a dinner for two, candles, and soft music. A romantic night we will never forget."





As with most things in Trip Tucker's life, it rarely worked out as he imagined. Trip and T'Pol made love for the first time in a Starfleet issue sleeping bag, when the two were stranded in a dank little cave, on a grubby little planet, on an away mission gone awry. Both of them always remembered it as the most romantic and satisfying night of their lives.



Thanks for reading JT.

I imagine that guy got so much scorn when he told what he did for a living that he was totally gun-shy with people.:p



I have a way off-topic story to tell about porn. I work at an economics journal and we published an article relating to the economics of online porn. The bottom line was that Republican states, and Utah in particular, have the highest per capita hits on one particular adult site. Of course this got alot of attention! lol . . . Then at work I got a phone call from this guy who anxiously explained that he was a pornographer and makes very tasteful movies for married couples and to please not hang up on him! I said, it's fine, go ahead, so what do you have to say about the economics of porn? He made this really good point that the most "repressed" states have more online porn because they have less offline porn. The stores won't sell pornographic magazines and DVDs because of social pressures. And he knew this firsthand as a businessman.

It was kind of funny though at the beginning of the conversation to hear this guy anxiously introduce himself.





I liked it . that their first time was not planned but still was special because it expressed their love for each other:):):)


I am very glad that I was able to succeed in adding for you one more occasion to continue writing your wonderful stories.
'Slow Burn' is a movie where Jolene Blalock was starring. It is not a masterpiece. But I had enjoyed it and I am rewatching it from time to time. There is a offscreen voice in the end shot which called Jolene's character by a trick of the light because the predominant plot device there was her chameleonic ability to change her appearance.


lbekoj, Thank you so much for your review.

You are right, It slipped my mind that Trip had an excellent view of T'Pol in a cave once.

Sorry but I have not seen 'Slow Burn' so I don't know the connection.

My son is a teacher and I'm always telling him that he touches more lives than he will ever know. Today you made me feel that way. To be able to help you, help a child learn is an honor.

You mentioned so many stories and characters that I know you have really read them. Theresa Tucker is also one of my favorites. Thank you and please keep reading and reviewing.


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I had fun reading this new story. It was very light and humorous. I especially love T'Pol's joyful remark about her reaction to the possible appearance of an item about having sex with other women in Trip's 'List of Things to Do Before You Die' and the twist in the end. I hope that Trip's reminiscences the events (and especially the images) from a cave from your story "Trick or Treat" might mitigate his predicament and perception now. It is off topic, but whether the end sentence in that story was a nod to the end of the movie "Slow Burn" or not?

I like a strong companionship here with a help in mundane things.


I agree that a porn viewing might be a good start for T'Pol in researching the mechanics of sexual relations of another species. But Trip does point out that the concept "making love" is much different. And I am fond of romantic Trip and pragmatic T'Pol here (particularly, when she suggests to start the quick realization of Trip's plan to "have several highly intelligent children").


Sorry, that I did not review your excellent stories before, but I am slowly learning to do it well, gradually increasing the number of the reviewed authors. Thank you, Bluetiger, for your wonderful writing! I am very appreciating your capability of creating the believable (and very real) world of a happy family. I had not met a happy family in a real life. I know many good and solid families but their problems and friction are frequently outweighing the light moments. Of course, it is only a question of the standpoint (the glass is more often half-empty in that case). And your stories usually do not give a chance to wake up my pessimism in this respect. Because I am an optimist in the most areas of life, I am very happy to read your happy stories. And you are including the wise thoughts in the easy manner and with a great humor. Theresa Tucker is my favorite among your original characters. I also like T'Resa and T'Ana with Thomas Sullivan. Your first story "Love Languages" is amongst my favorite fanfiction stories. My friend was going to come to me with visit for celebration of 2009 year or this summer and take her 14 year old son. I had a plan to print "Love Languages" and give it to a boy for the translation under my tutelage in our native language and retelling it to his mother. Unfortunately, "it rarely worked out as we imagined". They changed their plans both times. But a boy is not off the hook yet. If we'll meet in the next 1-2 years, he might not evade my task. I arrange usually for my guests (or for my host in my trips) many interesting (for them and me) activities, but my small whims (or not big wishes) are executing always. I know my limitations and I may use only one story for this plan without teen's rebelling. Thank you for inspiring that idea! I tried before to read with him some TnT fanfictions when I visited them in the countryside and took reading material for me. But I took with me in that time unread stories and only one was G rating. And a boy had easily earned the right for gaming at my laptop.

And thanks for giving occasion to reread tonight your amazing "'You Are Cordially Invited"!


My sides are still aching from laughing. I can just see this conversation occurring in T'Pol's matter of fact tone. to Trip's embarrassment . My favorite part the "if having sex with any other female is on your list to do before you may die sooner than you think". True to everything Trip planning has little to do with realiity. I agre with others ,this demands.... er begs a sequel.  You write them, we'll read them. Thanks


Not so long ago I was complaining that there aren't enough humorous TnT fics and here you come! My saviour :D

I love it. It's honest and funny and has a twist at the end.

"I knew it was not representative of reality when I noticed that the men were not as well endowed as you." Way to boost a man's ego, T'Pol!

"Debbie does the Delta Quadrant" BWAHAHAHAHA! It's just too hilarious. It reminds me of "Sex Toy Story II" and "Phoebe Buffay the Vampire Layer." :D :D :D

And I agree that since "sex" it's the most searched word in google, porn has a lot of future in the galaxy.


"Debbie does the Delta Quadrant" :D:D:D That's hilarious. Nice little story and funny, too. Please, Sir, can we have some more ?


Porn will never go away.  Even Doctor Ruth says that it's a healthy release as long as it's not abused.

And seriously, the whole "mating habits of the Delta Quadrant" quibble is mountains out of molehills.  Porn and its plots (and I use the term very, very loosely) is generally a work of fiction, so as they were shooting the thing in some futuristic hotel room (or the director's basement) somewhere, I'm sure they weren't too concerned with accuracy.  Anyone who's ever seen a porn knows that when they make these things, the priority is obviously the sex, and things like plot, dialogue, acting skills, etc. are just details, shmetails.

As for the "demand" for alien-on-human porn, believe it or not, even in our here and now, if there's a kink out there, there's a porn for it.  It would be the same in Trip's century.  They make porn for even the smallest, weirdest niches.

Seriously, this is a lot of attention given to an element that was such a small part of the actual story.  I just found it charming that T'Pol even watched one...not to get off, but to see it in action in order to make sure she'd be able to please Trip when the time came.


I don't want to run this in the ground since it was a minor part of the story but even in Broken Bow there seemed to be quite a bit of prostitution on Rigel X , the woman Trip heard scream when T'Pol would not let him interfere and the butterfly girls. And then in the Expanse we see a female slave market in Rajin. As sad as it is VCR'S became popular first because of Porn. I cannot imagine that the demand would disappear in the future. It would probably be a big part of Orion profit margine.


Well that makes sense but for this time period I am not sure how many aliens and humans are engaging in sexual relations to make any demand for such "entertainment" probably not many.


Unless things really change in the future most Porn films seem to lean toward catchy titles. I have actually seen a sci fi porn film that had no real aliens in it.:D.  I am going to assume that the actors used in the film T'Pol saw were from known planets at the time. And no I don't watch a lot of porn but someone did show me a star trek inspired film, It was terrible, bad acting, horrible sets, and very boring.


Bluetiger, Just one question because I am slightly confused. If T'Pol was researching "the mechanics of interspecies sexual relations" how have any humans researched the mating habits of the Delta Quadrent? I mean they haven't even gotten to Betazed yet, and that's near Vulcan. So I am very confused.:s


That was outstanding, as usual. It was hilarious, sweet and romantic. Now, that paragraph at the end, that's the summary for the next story? Please?


I liked it.   The porn thing was interesting.  I guess porn being so generic that it is boring as Alelou said would give her a better understanding of the mechanics of the act.  It sure gives you more info than any of the prepared text would have given her.  They tend to be technical and beyond boring. Personally didn't need the cave scene.  My imagination can take over where you left off.  Thanks




Well they do say life is what happens while you're making other plans.  A romantic dinner would have been nice, but somehow sex in a sleeping bag doesn't sound so bad, etiher.  And yes -- it would be nice to know what actually happened.  ;)

They're both trying so hard to do the right thing.  If two people were ever destined to be together, it's these two.  Outstanding story! 


Love "bug and slug"!  :D

"Debbie Does the Delta Quadrant"!!  BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!  :p

As with most things in Trip Tucker's life, it rarely worked out as he imagined. Trip and T'Pol made love for the first time in a Starfleet issue sleeping bag, when the two were stranded in a dank little cave, on a grubby little planet, on an away mission gone awry. Both of them always remembered it as the most romantic and satisfying night of their lives.

THAT'S a story I wanna read!  Any plans???

Honestly, this was cute.  Thanks for taking up my challenge!  :)




I'm with the majority here, I think, when I say that I want your next story to be about "a dank little cave, on a grubby little planet, on an away mission gone awry."  :D


There were many good and funny lines in this fic, but I loved the last one. Because it so truth: you can plan all you want, but with your loved one even a crappy planet can be fun.


I loved Harbinger.


Bluetiger... how your touch is light!

What a delicious innocence transpires out from your words!:p


This is cute.  My favorite line: "If having sex with any woman other than me is on your 'List of Things to Do Before You Die' it better be marked off or you may die sooner than you expect."  Also enjoyed Debbie Does the Delta Quadrant.  With all due respect, WG, I have to say that although my first exposure to porn came well into my marriage, I was a little taken aback that once you get past the hysterically awful set-ups that seem to be the rule, the sex is pretty much just sex (with a couple of odd little cliches I won't get into here).  Which is perhaps why most porn is so freakin' dull.

Bluetiger, that last paragraph certainly suggests there's another story that ought to be told. 


WarpGirl, she wasn't researching procreation or love. She was researching the mechanics of interspecies sexual relations.


That was cute. And honestly just enough, although a little more kissing never hurt anything. I don't understand the facination with T'Pol using "porn" for reaserch. Honestly, I can't see any scientist of any speices thinking pornography would provide any real conclusive data on the subject. Since it has nothing to do with procreation and nothing to do with love either. But I guess people don't see it that way.


Adorable, and since I never liked the way things we handled in Harbinger, I'm fully aboard your AU. But I want a sequel. 

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