Healing the Mind

By Peter Simons

E-Mail: simons@cryp.to
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama, Friendship
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Paramount, no infringement intended.

Summary: T'Pol wants to be friends with Trip. Naturally, he is not interested. But she simply doesn't leave him alone; she just is so persistent, so annoying, and so taxing, that he has no chance but to like her back.

Author's Note: The story is set in the third season, based on the events of »Rajiin«. Knowledge of the first season episode »Breaking the Ice« would also be useful, but not essential to understand it.

Beta Reader Acknowledgment: Once more I owe gratitude to Clicks for proof-reading this text and for making many helpful suggestions how to improve it. Thank you!

 

******** 

»Hi. Who are you?«

Trip was startled out of his thoughts: »Excuse me?«

»I have never seen your species before. I hope you don't mind my asking ... but I am curious. Who are you?«

»I'll tell you, if you tell me who you are first.«

»My name is Zaphie.«

The alien female extended her hand to Trip, exactly like a human woman would have done.

»Hi Zaphie.« Trip accepted the offered hand and shook it. »I am Charles Tucker.«

Trip studied the alien female for a moment. She had an unusual complexion, he noticed, it seemed as if her skin had several colors at once. He looked at her face and slowly turned his head left and right, keeping his gaze on the same spot on her face, and as he did, her skin color seemed to change!

She laughed warmly at his amazement.

»It appears, you have never seen my species either, Charles Tucker. I can tell by the strange look. I get this a lot.«

»I am sorry, but your skin is very interesting. It looks, as if it were a prism.«

»Yes, it does.« She paused to let her gaze wander over his face and body. »But you are very interesting too, Charles Tucker.«

Something in her voice told Trip, that she was not referring his skin color. But whatever she referred to, he had no time to find out.

»It's been nice meeting you, Zaphie, but I am on duty right now and I have some things to take ca-«

»You haven't told me what species you are.«

»Oh ... right. I am a human. We live on a planet called Earth.«

»Is that far from here, Charles Tucker?«

»I should really get going. It's been nice talking to you.«

»Perhaps you should make time and talk a bit more?«

»Look, I don't mean to be rude, really not. I have some important thin-«

»Like, finding information about the Xindi?«

»How the hell did you know that?«

»I am an unusually well-informed person, Charles Tucker.«

»And your vast knowledge does, by any chance, include information about the whereabouts of the Xindi?«

»Coincidently.«

»Then perhaps I should make time and talk a bit more.«

»Let's get off the market, though. I know a place where we can talk without being disturbed.«

»I bet you do. Would you mind if I invite my Captain and Armory Officer to the meeting?«

»Of course not.«

He took his communicator out of his arm pocket and switched it on.

»Tucker to Captain Archer.«

»Go on, Trip.«

»It appears I have run into someone who might be able to help us. Her name is Zaphie.«

All the while he spoke to the Captain, the alien before him smiled at him openly. She acted, as if they had known since childhood and had run into each other on a remote planet by chance.

»Send us the coordinates of the meeting point once you're there, Trip. We'll be finished here in a moment.«

»Aye, Captain.«

He switched the communicator to stand-by and put it back into his pocket.

»You heard my Captain, Zaphie. Let's go to the place you mentioned.«

»Follow me, Trip.«

She gave him one more smile before she turned around and lead the way.

 

********

 

Zaphie was very pleased with the prey she had discovered. He had an unusual mind, very enticing. Though his species did not appear to have any telepathic abilities, his mind had obviously been receiving telepathic contact frequently. It could not learn how to initiate telepathic contact, but it had learned how to reciprocate it. Their intimacy should be very intense, he would be much more receptive to her than unskilled prey usually was. She licked her lips in anticipation.

The only pity was that, because of it, manipulating him had been a bit too easy to be really fun.

 

********

 

»Alright, Trip. We'll be there in approximately 15 minutes. Archer out.«

»So ... Trip. While we wait for your friends, can I ask you for a favor?«

»Why don't you ask me, and then I'll tell you whether I'll do it?«

She laughed once more, then smiled and sat down before him, folding her legs under her.

»Have you always been this distrustful?«

»To be perfectly honest, no, not always. But after a while in space, you learn.«

»I know what you mean, Trip. I hope, I won't give you any reason to become more distrustful than you already are.«

»So do I, Zaphie.«

Trip eyed her cautiously. You didn't have to be Zefram Cochrane to figure out she had an agenda of her own. And now that she slowly moved her hand upwards to touch his face, it became increasingly clear what this agenda might be.

»Please trust me for only a minute, Trip. I am really just curious, I mean no harm.«

Her fingertips stroked carefully over his temples. And as they did, something weird happened. It felt, as if his body had been detached from his mind. It felt, as if his mind stood outside of him and watched the proceedings from a distance.

»You have a very skilled mind, Trip. How come you know how to reciprocate telepathic contact?«

He had no idea what she was talking about. And he wanted to say just that, but he didn't know how to move anymore. He had simply forgotten how to control his body, his lips wouldn't budge!

»Shhh. Don't resist, Trip. It will only hurt.«

By now, her hands were resting on both of his temples. Her fingers felt so hot on his skin, he thought she was welding them onto on his head! He tried to move, to shake them off, but it was useless. He couldn't even blink. His temples began to throb powerfully, and a fine but piercing pain radiated throughout his body. The pain wandered from his temples down his spine and through his bones, until it was everywhere, until every fiber of his body itched with pain.

»Don't resist, Trip.«

The pain began to increase, it grew even worse. He had no words to describe it. He had been injured before, he had been beaten up before, but at no time had he felt anything like this. This pain was encompassing. Any other sensation was just drowned out.

»How come you know how to reciprocate telepathic contact?«

It was unbearable. He wanted to yell, to cry, to beg; but he could do nothing!

»Where have you learned to reciprocate telepathic contact?«

He would have told her. He would have told her EVERYTHING. But he simply couldn't, he had no idea what she wanted!

»Fine, Trip. Then we'll do it the hard way.«

 

********

 

She had hoped, the intimacy of their minds would be consensual. It didn't really matter, though. She just wanted his emotions. Whether he would give them freely or not didn't make a difference.

She began to send him impressions. She knew, they would feel completely real to him. His mind could not distinguish what his body told him from what she sent him. The first impression was that of his thumbnail being ripped off his finger with pliers.

 

********

 

Trip had lost any sense of time. He had no idea where he was. He had no idea what was happening to him. All he knew was, that he wanted to die. He was in excruciating pain, and he was certain his body had been mutilated beyond recognition by now. He longed for death.

 

********

 

These humans were stronger than they appeared. Most of her victims had surrendered long before, but this one's will was determined not to give in. She liked that in a man. Perhaps deception was a more appropriate tool than pain?

 

********

 

»T'Pol?«

»Commander, I will help you. But you must trust me.«

»I am in so much pain, T'Pol!«

»I know. Trust me. Take my hand.«

 

********

 

Yes! Deception was indeed far more effective. Now she had him.

 

********

 

He desperately reached out for T'Pol - and when he touched her hand, the pain vanished. But it was immediately replaced by mortal fear. He felt threatened, weak, defenseless. He felt vulnerable like he had never felt in his life. T'Pol was gone. Everything was gone. He was alone in the dark void. And he was cold and completely naked.

 

********

 

Zaphie devoured his fear and desperation hungrily. Such powerful emotions! It was wonderful. She bathed in the energy of his mind. She reveled in his feelings for minutes, until she was sated. But she was curious, there still was time for a little extra.

She ripped his consciousness open and entered his mind with hers.

 

********

 

»Captain?«

»It turns out, our mission to save Earth has become a bit more difficult than before. Can you guess why?«

»John, please help me! I have no idea wh-«

»Your friends the Vissians have declared war.«

»What?«

»You remember the Cogenitor, don't you? The first attack wave has killed over 700,000 people. Star Fleet Command has been eradicated from the earth. Do you know who is responsible for that?«

»But I ...«

»Do you know, how many people have lost a sister because of your doing?«

 

********

 

She had erred. Now that his mind buzzed with all kinds of emotions, she realized she had not been sated at all.

 

********

 

»Malcolm? Please hel-«

»Do you know when I started to hate you, Trip?«

»What?«

»It was, when I had to shoot down Sim.«

»WHAT?«

»He tried to flee, he didn't want to die for you. Nor did I want him to. Everybody wanted Sim to live, only Phlox insisted on performing this sick procedure of his! I had to shoot Sim and drag him to the bio bed, so that you could live, you bastard!«

»I didn't know that Malcolm!«

»What difference does it make? Because of you, I had to kill my best friend, Trip!«

 

********

 

Oh, she hadn't felt so wonderful for a long time. She knew everything he knew, he could not keep any secret from her. And she used his secrets against him. She sucked every emotion out of him that she could find.

But there had to be more?

 

********

 

»T'Pol, you have to help me! Somet-«

»It would be illogical to help you, Commander.«

»What?«

»By helping you, I would only put myself into danger. The risk is not worth it.«

»T'Pol, PLEASE!«

»You simply don't understand, do you? I don't CARE! Live long and prosper, Commander.«

As she turned around and walked away, Trip began to cry out-of-control.

 

********

 

Zaphie was enthralled by his powerful emotions. But she knew she had to leave, his friends would arrive any moment now. It was a pity though, she hadn't enjoyed prey like this in a long time.

 

********

 

»I cannot detect any physical injuries, Captain. But Commander Tucker is not well, that much is clear. His nervous system has been over-strained severely.«

»How could this have happened?«

»Any number of reasons, Captain. The likeliest explanation would be some kind of torture - extreme pain and discomfort. Since there is no physical evidence of such methods however, I cannot say for certain.«

»Could this have been caused by invasive mental abilities? Like Rajiin was capable of?«

»Maybe. Telepathy would be one possible explanation. A violation of his mind, so to speak. It would explain why his body has not been harmed. But like I said, I cannot be certain.«

»Has his brain been damaged?«

»It doesn't appear so. There is no physical damage, but it is hard to tell how the experience that caused this state has affected his mind.«

»Any idea when he might wake up?«

»I could probably wake him up with a hypospray, but I wouldn't recommend it. Whatever has happened, he has been through extreme stress. Rest is definitely a good idea right now.«

»Keep me posted, Doctor.«

 

********

 

Phlox had developed some gruesome memories during his career as a surgeon. He had worked directly behind the front-line in an extremely violent war, and in those times, he had witnessed things no living being is supposed to see. Now he had made one more memory he would not be able to forget: The look in Commander Tucker's eyes when he woke up. His expression was so pained and frightened, it almost tore Phlox's heart apart.

»Commander Tucker? You are safe. You are on ENTERPRISE, in Sickbay.«

The Commander jerked his face into Phlox's direction and his eyes were wide in fear. Phlox could literally see the panic grab him as his body tensed up, and then he jumped off the bed in an explosive movement, only to break down on the floor, unable to support his own weight.

»Mister Tucker.« Phlox said softly to him as he approached slowly. »You are safe. Captain Archer and Lieutenant Reed found you on the planet. You are back on ENTERPRISE.«

The Commander just snapped his face in random directions, as if he was expecting to be ambushed at any second. Then his eyes rolled back and he passed out again.

 

********

 

»Wh... What... Where am I?«

»You are on ENTERPRISE, Commander. You are safe. Don't be alarmed, I have given you a sedative, that's why you might feel a little strange.«

»Phlox?«

»Yes, Commander. I am glad you are back.«

»Just get it over with. What have I done?«

»I was hoping you could tell me, Commander. The Captain found you at the agreed coordinates, but you were unconscious. We couldn't determine what has happened do you. Do you remember anything?«

The Commanders face distorted into a mask of anguish again, and Phlox immediately regretted having asked that question so soon.

»I am sorry, Commander. You need to rest. Please be calm, you are safe now.«

»This is real?«

»Of course it is, Commander. You are on ENTERPRISE.«

»Has Earth been attacked?«

»You can't remember?«

»I am not sure what I remember ...«

»We are in the Expanse. Do you remember why?«

»Have the Vissians attacked Earth?«

»Not to my knowledge, Commander.«

»Then I have just had the most real and the most horrific nightmare of my life.«

»Do you remember what happened after you spoke to the Captain? He said, you were with an alien?«

»Yes. Zaphie ... her name was Zaphie. Her skin shone in so many different colors.«

»I'm not sure I follow?«

Once more Trip's face displayed an expression of mortal fear, and his breathing became erratic. Phlox was certain the Commander would lose consciousness again, so he injected him with another dose of the sedative. All he could do right now was to give him was rest.

 

********

 

»Captain, please tell the Doctor I am fit for duty!«

»It's his decision, Trip.«

»Phlox, listen. Nothing good will come out of me lying in Sickbay the entire time. You've said it yourself, my body is okay. So please let me do something, it is boring as hell down here.«

»You may have no physical injuries, Commander, but I don't think it is wise for you to go back on duty just yet.«

»I need something to do, Phlox. I have had nightmares before, I'll deal with it. It will be easier once I am back in Engineering. - Captain, the ship needs me.«

»You are right, Trip. We do need you.«

»Then let me get back to work.«

»What do you say, Phlox?«

»A single six hour shift per day, Commander. Not a minute more.«

»But I can go on working in my quarters?«

»Commander, if you don't value your physical and mental health, then you may of course do just that. But your brain needs to recover. If you don't rest, then you will quite simply go insane.«

»I'll be careful, Doc.«

 

********

 

Had Trip been in the mood for laughter, he would have laughed when Phlox had warned him he would go insane. For all he knew, he was insane already. Getting back to work had been the right decision. He was alright whenever he was distracted. But once his thoughts had time to wander, nothing was right anymore.

The nightmares about Lizzy's death had been unsettling, but the nightmares he had now were so terrible, he simply refused to go to sleep. He tried to stay awake for as long as he could. For hours he sat in his quarters and watched the stars pass by. He kept the room dark. He didn't want any light. All he wanted to do was to forget.

Out of nowhere the pain returned. The feeling of helplessness returned. And he was scared to death. There was such an immense sense of danger around him, he didn't even dare to exhale. Suddenly, something shifted in the shadows. Strange colors twinkled in the corners of the room, they lurked in the dark, they just waited to attack him. And there was nothing he could do. He could just sit there with his legs pulled up to his chest, and wait for the inevitable to happen. And when they attacked him, he would cry out because of the excruciating pain - but no sound could be heard. And then he woke up in his chair, drenched in sweat, and shook like a leaf.

He had withdrawn from the social life on board, but he kept up a cheerful facade. Whenever someone told him he wouldn't look good, he tried to look solemn and replied, that he was fine, maybe a little stressed out ... work, you know? He had some experience doing this. He had lived this way ever since Lizzy had died. So his life hadn't really changed much. It had just reached a new quantity of isolation, not a new quality.

He just couldn't bear to have people around him. He couldn't bear the way they looked at him with this pitied expression. He just didn't want to go through that, he had had enough. He needed peace to deal with these nightmares. And he had no idea how to do it. He felt vulnerable in a way he hadn't thought possible: his mind felt vulnerable.

But so what? Everyone on the ship had problems. He was not special in any way. He just needed time.

Suddenly a voice startled him out of his thoughts.

»Commander? Are you alright?«

»Do you want to give me a heart attack, Subcommander? Have you ever heard of a door bell?«

»I rang it five times.«

Did she?

»So when I don't answer, you just enter and invade into my privacy?«

»I didn't mean to pry, Commander. Please excuse me. I was simply concerned you were in distress.«

»I am fine.«

»Why are you sitting in the dark?«

»What can I do for you, Subcommander?«

»The crew is worried because they hardly see you anymore, Commander. It's Tuesday, I'm sure you remember Movie Night?«

»I am not in the mood.«

»Have you eaten already?«

»Yes.«

»What did you have?«

»Why are you interrogating me, T'Pol?«

»I am concerned for you as well.«

»I am fine! I just need some time for myself, okay?«

»It would be beneficial, if you -«

»T'Pol, you don't seem to understand, do you? I don't CARE!«

Ever since he had woken up after the ordeal on the planet, he had seen T'Pol with different eyes. She was menacing. There was something about her that frightened him. He had no idea what it was, but now was not a good time to find out. He only knew she she was dangerous! And the feeling increased the closer she got. He eyed her suspiciously while she slowly approached him.

»On the contrary, Commander. It's very likely that I am the only one who understands. My mind has been violated twice.«

For the first time, he really looked at her. She stood next to his chair by now, less than half a meter away. Her face seemed softer than usual. She really was concerned.

»I am sorry, T'Pol. I am not myself at the moment, I didn't mean to be rude.«

She accepted his apology with a nod, then slowly crouched down next to his chair, and gently laid her hand over his in a gesture of sympathy. But it was not! The moment her fingers touched him, the pain returned with force - she meant to hurt him! He felt her ice-cold menace creeping up his spine, and he was too terrified to react at first. Then he pulled his hand away as if he had touched fire, he jumped out of his chair, knocking it over in the process, and withdrew to the corner farthest away from her.

»Get out, T'Pol! Just leave me alone.«

»Commander, I can explain your reac-«

»GET OUT!«

It was almost half-an-hour after she had left, before he dared to leave the corner he had backed himself into.

 

********

 

T'Pol was very concerned. A week had passed, but Commander Tucker didn't seem to get any better. Whatever had happened to him, it had changed the man she knew into a shadow of his former self. It was quite obvious, he didn't know how to deal with such a harrowing experience. He had been completely unprepared for a violation of this kind. She understood him well.

She had had the benefit of superior mental discipline, her whole life she had been doing nothing but suppressing her unwelcome emotions. And it had been difficult. It still was. She knew she had not really dealt with her horrible experiences either, she had just pushed them out of her consciousness. It was the only way she knew how to deal with them.

But this was not right for Commander Tucker. He tried to ignore his pain, and it wouldn't work. Humans were not meant to exist that way. It had taken the Vulcan species centuries to develop the proper techniques to the degree that they now used. No matter how much he wanted to do the same, it was bound to fail. And it concerned her.

She was astonished that nobody else seemed to realize how Commander Tucker was on the verge of losing his sanity. Two and a half years ago, when she came aboard the ENTERPRISE, she had had incredible problems handling the emotions her colleagues spread around them, she had almost constantly been assaulted by the friendship and warmth they felt for each other. Especially Commander Tucker. It was ironic, but now she missed that time. Now, the humans controlled their emotions almost constantly, they were guarded. Tense. They didn't allow themselves to feel warmth anymore. And the emotions they did feel were not warm at all.

»Captain, I am concerned about Commander Tucker.«

»Why are you concerned?«

There were moments when she wished she could allow herself to shout at her commanding officer. Was he blind?

»He displays many symptoms of severe emotional distress, Captain. And I am not certain, whether he is able to handle it.«

»Everybody on this ship is under emotional distress, T'Pol.«

»But not everybody on this ship has been subjected to the kind of abuse Commander Tucker has been subjected to recently.«

»I have spent some time with him, and he seemed to handle it surprisingly well, actually.«

»He doesn't handle it at all, Captain.«

»We have a mission to accomplish, T'Pol. We can't spend time fishing in the dark about whether Trip might or might not handle his emotional distress right. Frankly, I am surprised about your concern. I would have thought, you of all people would appreciate how much control he has over himself.«

It was hopeless. The well-being of an individual had simply stopped being important on this ship. Captain Archer had known Commander Tucker much longer and far better than she. If he wanted to, he would be able to see his friend's pain. But he had stopped looking.

»Lieutenant Reed, do you have a minute?«

»Certainly, Subcommander. What can I do for you?«

»This is a private matter, Lieutenant. I can count on your discretion?«

»Of course.«

»I understand that you and Commander Tucker are friends?«

»I tend to think so. Why do you ask?«

»I am concerned about the Commanders well-being, Lieutenant. He appears to be under a lot of stress.«

»We all are.«

»Of course, Lieutenant. I was just wondering, whether it wouldn't be beneficial for Commander Tucker to have some companionship. He seems to withdraw from the social activities on the ship. And since you are his friend ...«

»I know what you mean, Subcommander. But I am not certain what I - or anyone, for that matter - can really do. Nobody is in the mood for celebrations right now. The social life has quietened down, everybody is focused 100 percent on the mission. That's not unusual for humans.«

»But still, it seems -«

»Have you talked to Commander Tucker about this? I understand, you and he are friends as well?«

»I tend to think so.«

»Then you are really talking to the wrong person, Subcommander.«

»You are right, Lieutenant. Thank you for your advice.«

Of course she was talking to the wrong person. She knew that! But Commander Tucker had been avoiding her as much as he could. He simply refused to talk to her unless it was ship's business, and even then he was very terse. He rarely even looked at her. When she asked him for some data, he wouldn't bring it to her in person, like he used to, now he would upload it to her station. During the briefings for the senior staff, he always stood as far away from her as he could. When she was in the same room with him, he would keep his back to the wall all the time!

It distressed her. She was loathe to admit it, but she had grown accustomed to his attention. She had never realized, how much her own well-being seemed to depend on Commander Tucker's presence, until it was suddenly gone. But what distressed her the most was, that she knew exactly why he avoided her. She knew exactly, why he no longer appreciated her company. And it was her fault. She had violated his trust, she had violated him the same way this alien woman did. And if there was any chance of ever making things right again, she would have to tell him. She would have to tell him soon. But how?

»Doctor, I need your advice.«

»What can I do for you, Subcommander?«

»You seem to understand humans better than I do, and ... Well, I do have a matter to discuss with Commander Tucker. Unfortunately, it is something that will most likely unsettle him. Given his current condition, I would prefer to avoid unnecessary discomfort and wondered, whether you could advice me on how to best approach him.«

»Am I correct in guessing, that you will not share the details of the matter he will find unsettling, Subcommander?«

»Right, Doctor. I will not.«

»Then there is not much I can tell you, T'Pol.«

»But you know a great deal about humans, Doctor. Surely you must have some idea, how to convey this kind of information without hurting his feelings unnecessarily.«

»T'Pol, I have no idea what you are talking about. How would I be able to advice you?«

»Perhaps I should ask the question differently. When you have to tell a human patient unpleasant news about his health, how do you put it?«

»Directly.«

»You think that's wise?«

»I wouldn't know any other way, T'Pol.«

»Thank you, Doctor.«

All this hadn't helped her at all. But no matter how long she analyzed the problem, the fact would remain: she had to tell him. And the longer she waited, the more painful it would be for him. This hadn't happened to her before. There was something she understood perfectly, but she had no idea how to explain it.

 

********

 

Trip knew T'Pol was coming to see him over a minute before the door bell rang. He had become hyper-sensitive to her presence. He had hoped, the discomfort would subside over time. He knew T'Pol was not dangerous to him. But this knowledge went straight out of the window the moment she appeared. Because when she did, all he felt was panic. A cold shiver went through him before he even saw her.

He ignored the chime and hoped, she would just go away. But of course she didn't. Of course not.

»Come in.«

»Commander. Am I disturbing you?«

»Well, I am rather busy right now ...«

»Shall I return later?«

Trip sighed heavily. It was pointless. Whatever it was that she wanted from him, she would not give up. He knew that. So he might as well get over it. He forced himself to calm down. He was a professional. She was his superior officer. If he wanted to regain anything resembling a normal life, he would have to deal with this.

»No, T'Pol. That is not necessary. Actually, I am not busy at all, I was just thinking. Sorry. What can I do for you?«

»I need to speak with you. I have wanted to do so for a while, but the occasion never really arose.«

»It is not your fault, T'Pol. I guess, I have been avoiding you, and I am sorry about it. I don't know why I did it either, it's just that ...«

But he couldn't go on. How do you tell a friend you hated her presence?

»There is no need to apologize, Commander. I know why you have been avoiding me. You feel uncomfortable in my presence. It is my fault.«

Her words baffled him so completely, that he even forgot to be afraid of her for a moment.

»Commander, do you remember when you - due to a misunderstanding - read the private letter I had received from Vulcan?«

»Of course. I am still sorry about that.«

»There is no need to. You will probably not appreciate the irony in the fact, but this time, it is me who has to apologize.«

»For what?«

»I have made a somewhat similar mistake, Commander. And I do regret it very much! But ... My point is ... The reason why you feel uncomfortable in my presence is because your mind is extremely over-sensitive to telepathic contact at the moment.«

»I am not sure I understand?«

»Your mind had a very disturbing experience caused by telepathic contact. And now, any kind of psychic contact triggers the memory of the violation - and the sensations your mind associates with it.«

»This is why I feel uncomfortable in your presence?«

»Yes.«

»How come we have telepathic cont...«

Suddenly everything became perfectly clear.

»You are a telepath?«

»Yes.«

»You have telepathic contact to my mind?«

»Yes.«

»You have been reading my mind, T'Pol?«

»That is probably not the best way to put it, Comm-«

»How long have you been doing this?«

»I did not exactly read your mind, Commander. I ju-«

»This is bullshit! There is one thing about my time with this woman I remember perfectly clear, T'Pol. She asked me one question at least a dozen times: How come my mind knows how to reciprocate telepathic contact? The way she asked it is kind of hard to forget, believe me!«

»You misunderstand-«

»Do I? How the hell DOES my mind know how to reciprocate telepathic contact then?«

»Most members of my species have touch-telepathic abilities, Commander. It appears, that during our neuro-pressure sessions your mind grew accust-«

»You read my mind while we did neuro-pressure? Are you INSANE? You call this a mistake? The word you are looking for is rape!«

»Commander, please let me explain. I deeply regret that I did not tell you this earlier, but -«

»I don't give a damn about your explanations, T'Pol. YOU are the one who is obsessed with her privacy! YOU are the one who never shares anything intimate. And all the while, you spy on ME?«

»I apologize sincerely, Commander. Please let me explain. I never read any thoughts, I just shared your emotions, becaus-«

»That is wonderful, Subcommander, but it doesn't make any difference at all! Zaphie wasn't interested in my intellect either, she also just shared my emotions. But you know what the difference between you and her is? She did it once and it lasted fifteen minutes!«

»I understand your anger, Commander. You have every right to be angry with me. But -«

»I am not angry, T'Pol. The word doesn't even begin to describe how I feel ... Would you like a little more time, perhaps?«

»I am very sorry, Commander.«

»So am I. And now you better get your freaky mind out of my quarters, and stay out of them. And stay out of my mind as well! You are NOT WELCOME, do you read that?«

 

********

 

Trip had never been so humiliated in his life. He was afraid to combust in shame. T'Pol had played him like an idiot! He had been attracted to her for so long, and he had tried to hide it, because he dared not to molest her with his feelings for her. And all the while she had KNOWN how he felt? Had she manipulated him to amuse herself? Such cruelty was beyond anything he could comprehend.

How long would she have gone on playing that little game with him? How long would she have gone on laughing about him? And why the hell had she been doing this in the first place? The stupid bitch couldn't even laugh!

Only god knew what other little surprises she still had up her sleeve. He couldn't even begin to imagine, what she had all found out about him, how many of his secrets she knew. She could look right into his brain the minute she entered the room!

How was he supposed to handle all this? Knowing THIS was even worse than his experience with Zaphie ever could be - at least he didn't have to face her every single day after what she did to him. At least she was gone now! But T'Pol would not go away, and he could not hide from her either. He could do nothing at all! He would have to spend the next months of his life on the same ship with her, and he would never be able to relax, he would never be able to let his guard down, he would constantly have to run away from her!

An painful mixture of shame, humiliation, and naked panic washed over him - but he could do nothing at all. He could just sit in his dark room and watch the stars pass by.

 

********

 

Subcommander T'Pol sat in her quarters and looked at the meditation candle before her. She had looked at it for hours, but no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn't find peace. She struggled for control, she fought against a powerful feeling of loss, but there was no way to win the fight. Under the most unlikely circumstances, she had found something, someone, who was important to her. And what had she done?

The conversation kept replaying in her mind, and she could do nothing to stop it. She could not tear her focus away from the conversation they had had two years ago.

»Did you ever do anything totally by mistake that you weren't very proud of?«

»No.«

She could no longer answer no to this question. She didn't even have the benefit of an honest mistake. Commander Tucker was right. There was a different word for what she had done.

»Did you ever come across something that you thought was one thing, so you react in a certain way, but then it turned out to be something completely different?«

»Your point, Commander?«

She remember the moment vividly. She had been impatient with him. She had not been willing to really listen to him.

»You read my letter?«

»Believe me, I don't feel very good about it.«

And she hadn't believed him for a second. It simply hadn't mattered, what his reasons had been. All that had mattered was, how she had felt in that moment. And she had felt humiliated.

»I have more letters in my quarters. Would you like to read those as well?«

What had she done?

 

********

 

The words living hell didn't even come close to what the last three days had been. He hadn't thought it was possible, but the terror he felt when T'Pol was near had become even worse. And there was no way of avoiding her. There just wasn't. The emotions he felt, when she was near, almost surpassed the terror of his nightmares. He had no idea how long he could go on like this.

But no matter how bad things were, they could always get worse. Because of a single, little, stupid mistake in the computer software, a valve had malfunctioned. And this had caused a plasma conduit to overheat. And this had caused the conduit to rupture. Five meters away from the computer core responsible for the sensor array. And now, all sensors were down to 20 percent efficiency. And who was responsible for fixing this?

»Trip, the sensors are first priority. I would like you to take care of it yourself.«

»It's gonna take a while, Captain. Just putting together the spare parts for the new computer core will take at least 12 hours. And I have no idea, how difficult getting the system back up and running will be.«

»I know. That's why I want my best man to do it, Trip. I have asked T'Pol to help you. She knows the software better than anyone else on the ship.«

Trip felt a painful knot in his stomach.

»Come on, Captain! It won't go any faster when two people do it. She can't even help before the computer core is assembled, I'm sure she has better things to do than sit around and watch me work.«

»With sensors down to 20 percent, the Science Officer of the ship doesn't have anything better to do than to help fix them, Trip.«

 

********

 

She could feel his presence. He had been standing outside for over a minute now. She could feel how disturbed he was, how afraid he was. And she had no idea what to do. Logic didn't provide any answers for a situation like this. There really were no answers, it was not in her hands anymore.

What worried her, was no so much her own distress, it was the distress Commander Tucker felt. She knew, he had barely eaten in three days. She knew, he probably hadn't slept either. She knew that his mind was in turmoil, that he was hurt, that he was in grave danger. And she knew, she could help him. But it required trust. And if he was unwilling to trust her, then there was simply nothing she could do. And he had every reason not to trust her.

 

********

 

Trip willed himself to open the door and to enter the machine room. He knew she was inside: his hand shook when he reached for the door opener. But he would not let down his people, he would not let down the Captain. He would do this.

 

********

 

»Do you get a signal from the aft sensors?«

»No, Commander. Nothing.«

»Great. Then some part of the wiring has been fried as well.«

»I will run a diagnosis. I will be back once I have the results.«

»Take your time.«

 

********

 

»The wiring has been damaged, Commander. According to the diagnosis, panels 3 and 4 do not operate within expected parameters.«

»Do we try to fix them, or do we just replace them?«

»I will replace them. Meanwhile, why don't you take a break? You must be hungry.«

»I'd rather get this done as soon as possible.«

»I have brought food from the mess hall.«

Trip looked at her for the first time in hours. She was indeed carrying a tray with several dishes.

»I am not hungry.«

»I have brought pie as well.«

»I am really not hungry.«

»You once told me that pie would be good for the soul, Commander. Perhaps you should allow yourself the pleasure, even if you are not hungry?«

»Why don't we keep our attention to the job?«

T'Pol said nothing. She simply put the tray down, staying several meters away from him all the time. Then she walked to the other end of the room, sat down in the corner, and began to eat the piece of pie she had brought for herself.

»Didn't you want to replace the panels?«

»I will in just a moment, Commander.«

»And I thought you Vulcans didn't appreciate sweets.«

He had muttered the words to himself, but of course T'Pol had heard him.

»We Vulcans don't, but I do. It reminds me of the day I listened to your advice for the first time.«

»In the name of the lord, T'Pol, please do NOT play any mind games with me right now!«

»I have never played any games with you, Commander.«

»Listen. I know what you are trying to do. I appreciate the effort. But just drop it, okay?«

»I find it very difficult to suppress these thoughts, Commander. I feel regret because of the mistake I have made, and I don't know how to deal with the knowledge.«

»And now what? Do you expect me to care?«

»Only a few days ago, we used to help each other dealing with the experiences we have made.«

»But a lot of things have happened since a few days ago. And it cannot be unmade.«

»When you told me how you had read my letter, it was very difficult for me to deal with the fact, that my privacy had been violated. There were many different emotions I had to overcome. But in the end, this strange incident has been very important for my life. This was the day, when I trusted you for the first time. Now I realize, I may have lost your trust, because of a mistake of the exact same nature. I am unprepared to accept, that the outcome has to be so different this time. I wish, I had a chance to return what you have given me.«

»It is hardly possible, T'Pol. For all I know, I have given you intimate knowledge about my thoughts and emotions!«

»It is possible, if you are willing to listen.«

She could feel his conflict. She could feel how he struggled for control. And she had no idea what to do. She knew, would she get up and take a single step in his direction, she would push him away. She could only hope, he took a step towards her.

But he did not.

 

********

 

Trip sat in his quarters and watched the stars pass by. He was exhausted beyond description. He had spent the whole day in the same room with T'Pol, and they weren't even finished with the repairs yet. For a minute, he considered going back there and trying to get the repairs done alone over the night, so he wouldn't have to face her tomorrow. But it was pointless. He couldn't avoid her anyway, and he certainly couldn't concentrate anymore.

He knew he needed to sleep. Nightmares or not, there simply was no alternative. So he pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and rested his chin on his knees. He watched the stars while waiting for the inevitable to happen.

»T'Pol?«

»Commander, I will help you. But you must trust me.«

»I am in so much pain, T'Pol!«

»I know. Trust me. Take my hand.«

Trip woke up drenched in sweat. With a sudden movement he tried to get away from the menace that threatened him, but he only succeeded in toppling over with the chair he had fallen asleep in. And for the longest time, he just lay on the floor and fought for control.

 

********

 

»Commander?«

»Are you still willing to talk, T'Pol?«

»Of course. Please, come in.«

Trip noticed how she backed off, how she tried to stay at a distance from him. Every fiber of his body yelled at him to run away, but he had no idea where else to go. It didn't matter, what she had done to him. She had been right, of all the people on this ship, she was the only one who understood.

He entered her quarters cautiously and slumped down on the wall, right next to the door. T'Pol lightened several of the meditation candles and sat down too. She sat at the other end of the room. To say the situation was awkward would have been an understatement. For several minutes, they just sat there in silence.

»I believe, I am far from being your first choice to talk to?«

»That's right.«

»But since I already know of your problem, it is only logical to speak to me. It means, fewer people will know of it.«

Trip couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, and it almost shattered T'Pol's control on the spot. She had had no idea, how much she had missed this sound.

»Did you have nightmares after ... after your mind was violated, T'Pol?«

»Vulcans don't dream, but meditation serves the same purpose your dreams do. So in a way, I did have nightmares. It was very disturbing.«

»Your meditation helped you handle the experience?«

»No, not really. I was unable to focus, my mind was in great unrest. The attempts to meditate only brought back the painful memories. After several days, I was unable to meditate at all. Very much like you are unable to sleep.«

»But how did you handle it?«

»I found relief in the presence of a mind I trusted.«

That was not what he had wanted to hear.

»After Rajiin had forced my mind open, the emotions overwhelmed me. I was very afraid all the time, I was scared of the Humans around me. So I withdrew. But it didn't help, the pain only became worse. I felt isolated, alone. And I was afraid, that I would never be able to control these feelings, that I would feel like this for the rest of my life. But your presence comforted me. It still does.«

»And it didn't occur to you, that you were invading into my privacy in the process?«

»I know it must be almost impossible for you to believe me, Commander. But you should not think of it like this. I simply accepted what you were giving me, I didn't ever force you.«

»But I didn't know my mind was giving you anything, T'Pol. You took advantage of me.«

»I know, and I do regret it deeply.«

»Then why did you do it?«

»I was afraid, that if I told you, you would withdraw.«

»I would have.«

»I would not have known how to deal with my emotions without your presence, Commander. I was scared. I know it was a mistake, but at the time, I thought I didn't have a choice.«

»You could have asked me for help.«

»I am Vulcan. I am not supposed to need help with my emotions. I am not supposed to feel any emotion at all. For my whole life, this is what I have been taught, what was expected of me. As you will remember, I used to deny I even had emotions. I would rather have died than admit to weakness.«

»And now you do?«

»I have changed.«

»I have noticed.«

»I realized, it is illogical to deny facts I know are true. I realized, admitting to weakness is necessary before it can be overcome.«

»You sound like a human, T'Pol.«

»There is no need to insult me, Commander.«

He smiled at her response, and she felt this wonderful emotion in him again. She had had no idea, how much she had missed him.

»Do you think there still is pie left, T'Pol?«

»We could go and look.«

 

********

 

»I wish, I could just suppress my emotions, T'Pol. I would have never thought I would say this, but lately, I don't enjoy feeling them anymore.«

»Perhaps you feel like this because you do try to suppress them, Commander? Not long ago, you used to be very open with your emotions, and you seemed to be much more content at the time.«

»Sure. Back then, there was no need to suppress anything. But things have changed. I have changed.«

»I have noticed.«

»I have no idea when this has happened, T'Pol. Somewhere along the road, something went terribly wrong.«

»Sometimes, I believe everything has gone terribly wrong ever since Earth has been attacked. None of this is right. None of this should have happened. But I try to remind myself, that good things have happened as well.«

»Such as?«

»If I could choose between my former life and I my life now, I wouldn't hesitate to stay on ENTERPRISE again. I have become a much more logical person since I have been aboard this ship.«

»I doubt Ambassador Soval would agree.«

»I am sure he wouldn't. He is not willing to see beyond his preconceptions. He is afraid of everything he cannot control. Almost all of my people are.«

»Believe it or not, but Humans and Vulcans aren't very different in that regard. We fear things we don't understand as well.«

»Still Humanity has evolved at a much quicker pace than Vulcans did. You are more willing to embrace change than we are. Vulcans need a logical explanation for everything. We cannot exist without it. For the longest time I thought, that made us superior to other species. But in fact, it is our greatest weakness.«

»I can't believe you have just said that.«

»Not long ago, I would not have.«

While they sat in silence for a moment, Trip studied T'Pol. He looked her straight in the face for the first time in days. She looked far too fragile to be dangerous, he thought. She was far too gentle to be a threat to him. So why did it feel like she was?

»Why are you so open to me now, T'Pol? Why are you telling me these things?«

»I have to ... I simply have to share these thoughts and emotions. It is the only way I know, how to make them subside. They are too strong to be controlled, I cannot do it alone.«

»Wait - did I get that right? You cannot control your emotions?«

»Yes.«

»You feel emotions, in this very moment?«

»Yes. It is unsettling.«

»What do you feel?«

»I am sorry.«

Trip had heard these words a million times, he had said them himself only god knew how often, but he never understood before, what they really meant. It had required a Vulcan to show it to him. Now that she said it, it wasn't just an apology, just a phrase you use, it was the most intimate and honest thing anyone had ever said to him. And he had no idea what to answer to that.

 

********

 

»T'Pol, you have to help me! Somet-«

»It would be illogical to help you, Commander.«

»What?«

»By helping you, I would only put myself into danger. The risk is not worth it.«

»T'Pol, PLEASE!«

»You simply don't understand, do you? I don't CARE!

»No. That is not true.«

Trip woke up in his bed. For a moment, he was disoriented, so he switched on the lights. He had slept for three hours. He certainly didn't feel rested; he still was sore, exhausted, and frightened. But he knew he had begun to heal.

 

********

 

»The starboard sensors are still not fully operational, Commander. We must have missed something.«

»I think, I have an idea. There is a safety mechanism in Engineering, which protects the sensor array against overloads. The damage to the computer core may have triggered it. I'll go take a look.«

 

********

 

»I guess that was it, T'Pol.«

»Yes, sensors are at 100 percent now.«

»Then we have earned a break, I'd say. I came by the mess hall on my way back. I brought pie.«

T'Pol looked first at him, then at the two pieces of pie he was carrying.

»May I have the blueberry?«

 

********

 

Trip sat in his quarters and watched the stars. The repairs had progressed better than he had expected, the Captain was very pleased. He wasn't sure what he felt, though. He was pleased too, but it felt wrong to be pleased. He realized, he had almost forgotten what it felt like! Over the last weeks, his work had been a chore. Something, he had to get through somehow. He wasn't prepared for the satisfaction he suddenly felt. He remembered, that it used to be like this, he used to be satisfied by his work. But when was the last time it had been like this? It felt like decades ago ... but that could not be right?

An unexpected, cold shiver startled him out of his thoughts. It took only a moment before he heard the soft chime.

»Come in, Subcommander.«

She entered the room and waited, until the door had closed, but she did not approach him. She remained standing next to the door.

»How did you know it was me?«

»I can feel it.«

»I apologize, Commander. I try to shield my mind in your presence, but I am not entirely successful, and you seem to be very sensitive.«

Trip wondered what she felt in his presence. She had said, she shared his emotions? His emotions were in turmoil, so she would feel a turmoil of emotions. That had to be horrible for her. Why did she seem to seek for his presence then?

He nodded towards the meditation candles she was carrying.

»You wanted to bring me these?«

»You should not sit in the dark.«

»Thank you, Subcommander.«

She shifted slightly, but remained standing by the door.

»You will need permission from the Captain before you can use them however, Commander.«

»Of course.«

There was an uncomfortable silence between them. Neither seemed to know what to say next.

»He gave you special permission, right?«

»Yes.«

»Do you think it would fall within your authority to ... well, supervise the use of the candles?«

»I think it does.«

»In that case, why don't you stay here for a while? I wouldn't have to bother the Captain at this hour.«

»That would be logical, Commander.«

For another moment they were silent. T'Pol still stood at the door and held the candles awkwardly.

Trip got out of his chair, stepped over to his bed, and sat down on the floor in front of it, resting his back against it.

»Would you like to sit down and talk?«

She just nodded. Then she turned slightly, studied the floor around her, and sat down next to the door. It felt incredibly awkward.

»You said, you cannot shield your mind entirely, T'Pol. Do you share my emotions right now?«

»Yes. To a certain degree.«

»Is that why you stay at a distance?«

»Yes.«

»It bothers you?«

»Yes.«

»I am sorry, T'Pol. I wish, I would know how to shield my mind too.«

»You misunderstand. The distance bothers me.«

She was right. He did not understand.

»You don't mind the emotions?«

»I don't wish to intrude.«

»You already have!«

Trip regretted his words immediately, it was a pointless accusation. But he couldn't help it, he was still hurt. He just couldn't let it go.

»I don't wish to repeat the mistake.«

»You are right, T'Pol. I do not understand. Why did you do it? I simply cannot believe you did not realize how wrong it was.«

»For quite a while, I didn't even consciously recognize that the emotions I felt were yours, Commander. I expected there to be telepathic contact during the neuro-pressure. It is an intimate procedure. But your emotions were so similar to mine, it was hardly noticeable at first. So I concluded, that you were not receptive to telepathy. It was a mistake.«

»You didn't notice?«

»Not at first.«

»And when did you notice?«

»After I was abused by Rajiin.«

Why did it always sound like she was the victim when they talked? Why was he listening to this? He was the victim!

»That was the first time your emotions felt very different from mine. I was in distress, and when I touched you, there was so much warmth! You cared for me. It soothed me. I couldn't let go, I couldn't stop myself. I consumed your emotions, I allowed myself to feel them.«

Trip just couldn't understand it. Why was he no longer angry at her? Why did he feel for her, when he was in so much pain? It was illogical!

»But that was several weeks ago, T'Pol! You should have told me. I had no idea how intimate this was for you. I had a right to know.«

»I had grown accustomed to your affection, Commander. It had become part of my routine. Suddenly, I needed it. I couldn't let it go. I was afraid to be alone again. I still am.«

Trip just looked at her and said nothing. What right had he to accuse her? He had felt the same way about her, and he hadn't told her either! But now she had told him. And he had no idea how to answer. What did he feel? What could he tell her?

»I am sorry, T'Pol.«

Trip fought hard to hold the tears back. There was no way he would allow himself to cry now, NO WAY! He blinked furiously and wiped his face with the ball of his thumb. It took a while, before his vision had cleared up, before he could really see again. But when he saw T'Pol, the tears began to fall.

 

********

 

T'Pol struggled for control. She would NOT allow herself to cry! If there had ever been a moment in her life where she had to be strong, it was now. She tried to calm herself, she recited the appropriate chapters from Surak's writings in her mind furiously. And just when she had thought she would succeed, she saw Commander Tucker's tears, and all control was gone.

 

********

 

Trip was embarrassed as hell. He wiped his face once more, he blinked, he tried to hide. But he could not hide from her anyway. He felt her presence in his mind. She knew exactly how he felt.

»Subcommander ...« He had to clear this throat before he could go on. »... why don't you lighten the meditation candles?«

»I forgot the lighter.«

»Wait, I think I have one.«

He got up and rummaged in several drawers. He was thankful for the chance to compose himself. When he found the lighter, he wondered what to do next. He stood there, with the lighter in his hand, and looked at T'Pol. She had remained sitting by the door. For the longest time, they looked at each other.

He had no idea what to say. So he went back to his spot by the bed and sat down again. He hoped, she would just understand.

T'Pol didn't move for several moments. Then she slowly raised to her feet and walked over to him. She moved, as if she were walking on eggshells. She gingerly sat down next to him, resting with her back against the bed like he did. Without looking at him, she held out a candle for him to lighten it, and he did not look at her either. As he lightened it, they both looked at the flame. But their hands where within centimeters of each other. They did not move for an eternity.

 

********

 

»How does it feel to have telepathic contact with me, T'Pol? Do you know what I think?«

»It is difficult to explain. I don't actively know or see your thoughts or emotions. I share them. They are hardly distinguishable from my own. Your mind reciprocates the contact, Commander, you share my thoughts and emotions as well, and you didn't notice it either. It is not a conscious process.«

»Don't my emotions threaten your control?«

»On the contrary, Commander. They soothe me.«

»You are kidding?«

»The knowledge that we share them soothes me. The knowledge, that I am not alone.«

»Your presence soothes me as well, T'Pol.«

»Thank you, Commander.«

In this moment, T'Pol longed for his presence. She knew, he would feel warmth in this moment. She knew, it would feel wonderful to be close to him in this moment. But she did not dare to ask. She feared, she would push him away if she took a single step in his direction. She could do nothing at all. She could only hope, he took a step towards her.

»You still shield your mind, T'Pol.«

»Yes.«

»Why?«

»If I opened my mind, I would put myself into danger.«

Trip swallowed hard, and his voice was coarse when he asked her:

»Why would it put you into danger?«

Because his feelings would powerfully remind her of her own experiences. It was impossible that she could deal with these feelings alone. She could not take, she could only share. She would need to give him back. And would he be unwilling to care about her feelings in return, unwilling to help her with them, then they would overwhelm her. They would destroy her control, they would destroy her sanity, they would destroy her mind.

»You feel so much pain.«

»Please help me, T'Pol.«

She would not make the same mistake twice.

»I will help you. Take my hand.«

She would have to trust him.

 

********

 

Trip looked at her offered hand. He hesitated briefly, but then he laid his hand into hers, just like he did in his nightmares. Instantly, he felt the encompassing pain, the fear, the desperation, the helplessness, just like he had before. But there was nothing he could do. He allowed it. He gave in. He gave it all to her.

 

********

 

T'Pol took everything in, she accepted every sensation he gave her. She experienced his nightmares and focused on them with intensity; she desperately tried to understand his pain, she tried to find a way to help him. She re-lived her own experiences, she compared his feelings with her own, she searched for clues what she might do, what she could tell him. There had to be something he had missed, something she could point out to help him understand. Something she could do to ease his pain.

But she realized: there just wasn't anything she could say. She could do nothing at all! And naked panic crept up her spine, as her control began to slip.

 

********

 

For a split-second, he felt relieved. Then panic hit him again, powerful helplessness washed over him, images came to him, memories and emotions just crashed into his mind. But they were not his, they were hers! And he understood exactly how she felt, because she felt exactly like he did.

For the first time in so long, he was not alone!

He pulled her closer, desperately afraid she would leave him now. He embraced her and pressed her against himself, he kissed her face and nuzzled it with his own. He wanted nothing but to be close to her. He wanted to share.

 

********

 

When the meditation candles expunged, T'Pol realized, how much time had passed already. She looked at his face and studied it. He looked peaceful. He had fallen asleep long ago, but she refused to release him from her arms. She would not let go until she absolutely had to. For the first time in so long, she was not alone.

When she had lost control, he had not pushed her away - he had hungered for her pain! He had taken everything in, he had accepted every sensation she gave him, and now, all pain was gone. She had wanted to help him, but he had helped her instead! How was this possible?

She stroked his face tenderly, careful not to wake him up. She focused on his emotions. They were strong. And he felt exactly like she did. She fought for control, she tried to resist the powerful sensation, she battled for composture until she had no strength left, and finally she gave in ... and smiled.

 

********

 

»Good morning, Commander.«

Trip blinked several times.

»Is this real?«

»Of course it is.«

He looked around the room in disbelief. It certainly seemed real, but the thought of waking up in the arms of Subcommander T'Pol was too bizarre to accept.

»I fell asleep? Like this?«

»You were very exhausted.«

»How long have I been sleeping?«

»It is almost 0700 hours.«

»The whole night?«

»Yes.«

»Like this?«

»Yes.«

She had held him in her arms the entire night? This couldn't be real.

»What about you? You were exhausted as well.«

»I didn't want to leave.«

»You would have missed me, wouldn't you?«

»No. I just didn't want to wake you up.«

»Of course!«

»You needed to rest.«

»Right.«

»You hadn't slept in days!«

»I hadn't.«

»Commander, it falls within the duties of the First Officer to be concerned about the well-being of the crew.«

»You were performing your duties?«

»Of course.«

»Admirable.«

»There is no need to grin, Commander.«

»Why are you still holding me?«

»I will release you, if you wish.«

»Please, go ahead.«

Nothing happened.

»Why don't you get up, Commander?«

»You are still holding me.«

»I will release you, just get up.«

»It is hard to do so, when you're holding me.«

»You still feel weak?«

»Yeah, I have to admit I do.«

»Just allow yourself to rest for a moment longer, Commander. There is still time.«

»I hope you don't mind?«

»I will ignore the discomfort.«

»Good thing you are so disciplined, T'Pol.«

T'Pol pulled herself together. She would NOT smile!

»You know, T'Pol, it's time for breakfast ... and I am quite hungry. Would you care to accompany me?«

»Do you think there still is pie left?«

»Let's go and look.«

---