Valentine's Jokes

Rating: For everyone

Summary: Eh! Is it possible to resist?

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Enterprise is owned by Paramount, not me. (DAMN!) No infringement intended, no profit made.

AND . . .

Thanks, justTripn. Once again you wanted to help me.

“Inconceivable!”

“Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.”

“Absolutely inconceivable!”

“Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.”

“I have to leave the ship for important, intransgressible, top secret affairs and no one – NO ONE! – not ONE of my officers is available to great the Admiral on his unforeseen visit!”

“Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.” “Yes, Sir.”

“Commander T’Pol.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“What does my First Officer have to say for herself?” “Sir . . .”

“Captain, she’s not at fault. I . . .”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Commander Tucker. So, T’Pol?”

“I was . . . engaged in demanding business with Commander Tucker, Sir.”

“Engaged, T’Pol? Demanding?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“To the extent that you didn’t notice the Admiral arrival?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I don’t believe I’m hearing this from you, Commander. I think Commander Tucker’s proximity has a detrimental effect on you.”

“As for that, you are absolutely correct, Sir."

“Hey, T’Pol!”

“Shut up, Commander Tucker! So, I have to guess you were the bad advisor?”

“Yes, Sir. It was my fault. I . . ."

“Commander Tucker is trying to protect me, Captain. The demanding business he and I were engaged in requires two persons … together, Sir.”

“Damn, T’Pol!

“I said silence Commander Tucker! I prefer not to delve any further into this matter. Lieutenant Reed!”

“S . . . Sir?”

“"Since when do you stammer, Mister Reed?”

“Captain . . . I . . .”

“What do you say, Mister Reed?”

“Sir . . .”

“Where were you, Mister Reed, while Commander T’Pol and Commander Tucker were unavailable?”

“Captain . . . I”

“And you’re our Security Officer, Mister Reed. You are aware of Starfleet regulations?”

“Of course, Captain . . .”

"So, what can you say in your defence?"

"Captain, I . . ."

“Captain, it’s not his fault. I . . . ”

“You too, Ensign Sato? I wasn’t talking to you. Your turn will arrive shortly. So, Mister Reed?”

“Sir . . .”

“Please, Captain. The fact is that Lieutenant Reed and I . . . were engaged in . . .

“physical . . . “

“translation . . .”

“training . . .”

“And I take it that this physical translation training is a two-person activity.”

“Sir. . .” “Captain . . .”

"OH DAMN!"

“Computer, high security channel. Priorty, top secret communication.”

Buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . .

“Erika? It’s me. Darling, are you sure nobody noticed anything when I boarded your ship?”

The End - Oopssss!