By Asso

Rating: R

Genres: humour romance

Keywords: bond

This story has been read by 525 people.
This story has been read 822 times.

Rating: PG-13, I think. (LOL, let’s call it ‘R”, Asso ;) – Elessar)

Genre: Romance, be sure. But there’s also humour, here. Well! I hope.

Summary: You have to think this story takes place after Bound. “Guess we got a lot of work to do.” Trip said. OK. Our couple is doing this work.

Spoilers: No. Surely not.

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Enterprise is owned by Paramount, not me. (DAMN!) No infringement intended, no profit made.


A great, great, great thank to Aquarius, who literally took me by the hand.



"Wrecked? What are you getting at, with that… wrecked?"

“Wrecked, T’Pol! Nothing else than wrecked! W– r – e – c – k –… ”

“Commander, I'm perfectly aware of the term's meaning.”

“Okay. So, why…”

“What I’m unable to understand is how it is possible that you didn’t notice anything… earlier.”

“Hey, Hon! I’m only a poor engineer. I can’t…”

"Please, don't call me that when we are on duty. Anyway I think your experience should have made you more careful.”

“Damn T’Pol! There’re only the two of us in this damned old elevator, built by a damned old and unknown and disappeared race, which we came in because of your damned stubbornness!”

“The fact that we are alone is irrelevant, Commander. This elevator was the most logical manner to quickly reach our shuttlepod on the planet’s surface, before the arrival of the unbearable diurnal heat of this world. It was no longer possible for us to use the same road we went through in our descent.”

“Stubborn woman! If we weren't loitering to follow your damned wish to examine those damned finds with your damned methodical accuracy, we wouldn't be in this damned situation!”

“Please, do not get into your usual emotional mood, Commander. I have to remember you that I am a scientist, and, secondly, that you assured me this elevator was perfectly functional.”

“I’m NOT getting emotional! I’m only… Oh crap! This elevator WAS perfectly functional, Darlin’! But you saw the flame that burst out from the instrument panel. It is wrecked, Darlin’. Wrecked!”

“Commander, I remind you we are on duty. So… it’s wrecked.”

“Wrecked, Commander.


“Irreparably, D… CCCommander.”

“And can’t you do anything?”

"No, T'Pol. All we can do is wait for the captain to miss us. Hopefully they can isolate our life signs from the planet's magnetic distortions and use the transporter to get us out of here."

“You're getting more logical of late, Commander.”

“And you more impatient, D… T’Pol.”

“Vulcans don’t get impatient, Tr… Commander.”

“Don’t they?”


“If you say so."

“So, we must wait.”

“We must.”

“Therefore, we wait.”

“We wait.”


“Hey! Aren't we supposed to be on duty?”

“We are, but…”


“I know Humans are more at ease if they can share a little familiarity, during an… unnerving situation.”

“Ah… Humans, sure. Certainly not Vulcans, right Hon?”


“I see. So, I guess that means you find the present situation unnerving. For Humans, of course.”


“Because we have to wait helplessly?”

“Not only that.”

“What do you mean?" “Trip, did you notice that heat's increasing?”

“Actually… yes. You’re right, Darlin’. Maybe the thermostat is broken."

“It’s possible.”

“Let's hope they find us soon.”

“According to my estimate, it'll be at least four hours before the Captain realizes anything is wrong."

“That's a long time."


“Well. Maybe it won't get much hotter."





“I think we must do something. The heat is still increasing.”

“You’re right, Hon. Any ideas?”

“We have to extend our perspiration surface.”

“Logical, sure. So?”

“We have to undress.”

“Oh… ah… naturally!”

“Completely, so as to achieve the maximum effect.”

“O… obviously.”

“So, now we do it.”

“Immediately, Hon.”



“Remember we are on duty.”

“Absolutely, Hon.”




"I don't think it's working."


“Rather it seems that our nudity facilitates blood heat increment of our bodies.”

“I can’t say I am... surprised at that, Hon.”

“Honestly… I'm not either, Trip.”

“Ah. I see.”

“I, too, am seeing.”

“Well, Hon! Males are… more revealing than females.”

“As I said... I see. But… I can assure you that also females have their… problems.”

“Have they?”


“Mh, yes. I… can tell.”

“And nevertheless we have to do something. The increasing temperature is becoming dangerous.”

"Right again, Hon."

“Any suggestions?”

“Mhhh… let me think.”



“Did you think?”



“Do you see that device on elevator’s ceiling?”


“It looks like it might be a fire detection system.”

“It appears possible and logical. So?”

“It looks weird. It seems a little too complex. I wonder if it might be connected with superior levels of temperature’s control. If that's the case, maybe we can get it working and cool things down in here.”

“It seems logical.”

"I'm glad you think so, Hon."

“So, what do we do?"

“Ceiling is high, Darlin’. ”


“We have to reach the device to work on it.”


“You should climb up on my shoulders, Hon.”



“I’m a scientist, Trip. You’re the engineer.”

“But you’re smaller and lighter, and I'll tell you what to do once you’re up.”

“All… all right.”

"Okay, here we go."



“Remember we are on duty.”

“Absolutely, Hon.”


"Like this, Trip?"

“Yes, Hon.”

“It sounds like something is happening.”

“Good! Now…”


“What? What? Hon, what…”

“There’s a strange hiss!”

“A hiss?”

“Yes. It's getting louder."

“I hear it! Oh crap! Stop, T’Pol! St…”





“Everything all right?”

“I think so. It was... very soft... where I landed.”

“Thanks. I cannot say the same.”

“Oh… sorry, Hon!”

“Never mind. It hasn't been… unpleasant.”


“I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Not on your life, Darlin’! It hasn't been… unpleasant! And you… have I hurt you?”

“No, Trip. Don’t be worried. I'm fine."

“Aha, but now we are really in a pickle.”

“I don't understand the logic of your statement. We are not cucumbers.”

“I mean we're on the carpet, Hon.”

“Floor is metallic, Trip.”

“Damn! Up the creek, Hon! Up the creek!”

“Actually it’s true. Even if it was rather a deluge.”

“Damnit, Darlin’! I want to mean we’re in trouble!”

“Why must Humans talk so illogically? And why have I bonded with the most illogical of the Humans? Anyway you’re right, this is a fact.”

“Just so! Now we’re in the dark, apart from emergency lighting.”


“And obviously the fire detection system worked. We're soaked."


“Our clothes are kind of soggy now."




“Well, I think the temperature control is utterly wrecked."

"Do you think so?"

“Now it’s cold, and not only because we’re drenched.”

“In effect, temperature is low according with the depth where we are, Trip.”

“Right, Hon. So…”

“So… we are definitely in a pickle.”

“Exactly, Hon. Any suggestions?”

“Yes… T’hai’la.

T’hai’la? Uh… Darlin’…”

“Yes, T’hai’la?

“Re…remember we’re on duty!”

“Absolutely, T’hai’la.


“Are you sure, Hon?”

“Starfleet regulation. Chapter two. Paragraph three. Section five. Sentence six. - ”It's the duty of any Starfleet Member to preserve his own health and efficiency with any means required by circumstances, provided the means are ethical and not injurious to anyone or anything.”

"Well, that sounds like our situation."

“So? May we proceed?”

“At your beck and call, Hon!”

“I’m… pleased… you agree with me, T’hai’la.

“At… your beck and call, Hon!


“Mmmmhhh… T’hai’la?”

“"How much longer before the Enterprise finds us... according your guesstimates?”

“MMMMMHHHHH… Aaaaaahhhhh… I think… about two hours.”

“Oh, thank goodness!”

“T’hai’la, is something wrong?”

“Everything’s fine, Hon!”

“Didn’t… didn’t I rise to the occasion?”

“Are you crazy, Hon? Everything's fine—really fine!"

“So, T’hai’la? What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing, Hon! I promise!”

“So why do you want to be rescued soon? Don't you… don't you enjoy the situation? Or… our survival measures?”

“I couldn't think of anything better!”

“T’hai’la… I don’t understand.”

"Let me… explain it to you, Hon..."


“Mmmmhhh… Yes… your… explanation appears… adequate! I think… I think I’m beginning to understand…”

“Yeah! So, you can understand that…”

“MMMMMHHHHH…. More… explanations… are required…”

“Oh… oh sure... More?”


“Hon… You… you need a lot of explanations… ”

“MMMMMMHHHHHH… Yessss… I’m… MMMMMMHHHHHH… I’m a scientist… ”



“I… I don’t know if, when I'll be able to explain it all to you …”


“I… I don’t know if our colleagues will be able to find me...”


“…not totally…”


The End (Oh yes! Life is hard for the Human male of a Vulcan female!)


Or not?


Lady Rainbow
Hmm..."Remember we're still on duty." Uh-huh. Riiiight. ;):p Great story, Asso. :)
Thanks to everyone!:D I'm happy this story was enjoyed; you know: it's difficult for me to attempt to be humorous, using a language that is not my first. And then this one is not my usual way. And yet the crazy idea of resorting to the dialog!:s But, fortunately, [b]Aquarius[/b] wanted to help me. Thank you again, [b]Aquarius[/b].:) And... [b]Escriba[/b]... YES! I'm a tease!:p So, don't be scared: that's my vengence!;)
:D love it!
"Remember we are on duty." :D Self-restraint can be so difficult for our favorite couple. Your story was terrific, Asso!
Asso,I enjoyed your story very much. You know how i like humor.Great job.
I always like the use of a dialog interval to tell a story. You made this one work very well indeed. Congrats. :)
Great job, [b]Asso[/b]. What I like about this is the leanness of the piece. The absence of narrative description really lets the [i]characters[/i] tell the story. It shows that you don't need all sorts of flowery prose in order to get a sense of time, place, who the characters are to each other, what they want, etc. Fun! :D
Bwahahaha! Funny and swet. You're a complete tease, Asso ;) Best lines: [i]“Aha, but now we are really in a pickle.” “I don't understand the logic of your statement. We are not cucumbers.” “I mean we're on the carpet, Hon.” “Floor is metallic, Trip.” [/i] and [i]“Starfleet regulation. Chapter two. Paragraph three. Section five. Sentence six. - ”It's the duty of any Starfleet Member to preserve his own health and efficiency with any means required by circumstances, provided the means are ethical and not injurious to anyone or anything.” [/i] Sooo funny :D
Fun story Asso.
:p Cute!

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