Those Odd Vulcan Names

By Transwarp

Rating: PG

Genres: humour


This story has been read by 867 people.
This story has been read 1184 times.

Genre: spoof/humor

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek names, and related intellectual property.

Summary: I've noticed that Vulcans in literature and on TV tend to have strong and forceful names: Tuvok, Koss, Soval, T'Pring. Surely, there must be some Vulcans with names that humans would find amusing?

Note: There will be NO sequel.


Ambassador Poop stood before the window of his office in the Vulcan Compound, watching the sun set over the Pacific. Earth was not Vulcan, but it had its fascinations, none more so than this ocean. In constant, restless motion, it was not unlike the humans who lived here.

He turned away from the window, and placed the last of his personal items into his travel bag. The new ambassador would be here shortly, and Poop did not desire to linger. The three months of his ambassadorship was a period he was ready to put behind him.

He had sensed a problem from the beginning; the hidden smiles, the suppressed laughter, there was clearly something wrong. It had taken a sympathetic human to point out the source of the problem: his name. It had effectively ended his tenure as Ambassador to Earth, but there would be other postings. He had, after all, followed the established protocols to the letter. No one could deny that.

His aide escorted the new Ambassador into his office, who then raised his hand in greeting, "Live long and prosper, Poop."

Poop returned the gesture, "Live long and prosper, Crap. May your tenure as Ambassador be fruitful and satisfying."




Braden Shield

Rolex is the oldest swiss rolex watch manufacturing company within the world. Replica rolex have provided to their owners, magnificence, quality rolex replica and timeless elegance. Rolex replica watches remain a few of the most advanced and expensive watches in the world.


Ha ha ha! Hysterical, thank you.

Oh, man. Those poor Vulcans, lol. Cute story. :D
LOL Too cute!
Mr. President, I present Ambassador Crap and his wife, T'Urd, of Vulcan. They will be able to fairly represent... why do you turn that particular color? ;)
Spek? You killed him off, didn't you, Distracted? You had Soval do it and wasn't he a Romulan, actually? Latrina is a name my husband came across in is work in the state department of corrections. Oh, here's another one: Batman Kinski. Really. His legal first name is Batman. Transwarp, I think you have started something here! :s
Dunno about that, Linda. I've seen Lesbia (her birth name, and her mother was straight), Gonorrea (Ga-NOH-ria), Syphillis (Si-FIL-us), and Lemonjello (La-MON-jalo). I saw a girl named Pebbles today. I wonder if her brother is Bamm-Bamm? Some people are just TOO weird to be parents. :s Funny bit of a story, Transwarp. Did you know I had a very short Vulcan in one of my stories called Spek? His name got the same snicker reaction. He was a nasty little booger, though. :p
Have they no linguists on Vulcan? LOL, an intelligent people, lacking common sense. And maybe the next ambassador will be T'Latrina. Now you never would find that name being used on earth, would you? :s Uh, well, uh... Cute fic!
:p Fantastic! This is a great bit of amusement.
Very funny! :D The poor ambassadors have no recourse. No middle use of initials. It's not easy being Vulcan.
Ah Ah Ah! Short job and great idea. I like it. Fun and well done. I would like to know something else about YOUR Vulcans.;)
Funny but so true what Pansyan said is so true.
I smiled at the first scentence and laughed at the last one. Really funny. :)(And even close to real life, because last names in one language means something very funny in the other. I can give examples!)
Aw cries out for a second chapter. :) :D :p

You need to be logged in to the forum to leave a review!