Awareness

By Asso

Rating: G

Genres: angst romance

Keywords:

This story has been read by 1422 people.
This story has been read 3232 times.


Rating: G

Genre: What do you think? Do you think this Fic might be a Romance? Well! You’re right! This is Romance, suffused with angst. Soft angst. And (this is a sentence of my dear friend Linda) it’s a poem - a prose poem.

Summary: Sometimes, something horrible, dreadfully baneful is necessary, in order that awareness becomes a real awareness.

Spoilers: Observer Effect. I won’t say anything more.

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Enterprise is owned by Paramount, not me. (DAMN! Repeatedly and endlessly DAMN!) No infringement intended, no profit made.

AND…

A great, great, great thank to Linda, who – once again - wanted to help me.


Awareness.

I’m Vulcan.

I’m strong.

Cold.

Logical.

So, I know that life ends... no matter how.

Death is the logical end of life.

Nothing remarkable.

Nothing remarkable, like… what happened between us.

Reciprocal attraction between sexes is among the logical things of the life.

Nothing remarkable.

I… was attracted to him.

Maybe… I loved him. Human mood is… contagious, and I lived with humans for quite a long time.

Maybe too long a time.

But I’m Vulcan.

I regained my path.

Logic leads my road again.

So, I don’t feel anything.

I… don’t feel… anything…

… while he… while he…

Anything!

I can control my emotions.

Death and life are the two faces of the same medal, how humans… how he… would say it.

Nothing remarkable.

Nothing remarkable!

He… was an episode.

Nothing else.

An episode of my life.

Of my long… lonely… life…

Things won’t change… things will be the same… if he no longer is there…

If… if I will no longer see him…

If I no longer will feel his scent… his presence…

The warm awareness of his existence...

The… consoling consciousness of his enduring…

… abiding…

… imperishable…

…love.

LOVE!

It’s a word!

Nothing else!

The ephemeral sigh of a challenging walk, through the difficult path of the life.

Duty and logic are the true path!

The Vulcan path!

And I’m Vulcan.

Duty and logic are MY path.

Not love!

Not… the sweetness of the… love… he gave me.

Not the warmth of his embrace.

The wonderfulness of his kisses.

The… potency… of his… hands…

… of his body…

Of his heart.

Of his soul!

I’m… I’m Vulcan.

I’m strong.

Cold.

Logical.

My life will go on quietly and placidly even if he doesn’t wake up, if he doesn’t regain his… his…

his

What’s love?

Nothing!

A lump in the life!

A… heartbreaking lump…

Like…

…like the lump… that clenches… my throat…

Like the thoughts which are buried down…

Inside me.

Thoughts… and… words…

…which claim to be free…

“Captain…”

uncontainable

“…if Commander Tucker…”

… out from my lips.

“…becomes conscious…”

OUT FROM MY KATRA!

…………….

…………….

…………….


I’m Vulcan.

I’m strong.

Cold.

Logical.

I’m a Vulcan woman…

……

… I’m… a Vulcan woman…

…illogically…

…irrationally…

…desperately…

......

…DESPERATELY IN LOVE!


The End

She is understanding.

She’s becoming aware.


Comments:

Crystalswolf

This is a very emotional poem that perfectly fits what I thought T'Pol felt during that time.  Beautiful rhythm.

Silverbullet

T-Pol is coming to grips with what she has  found and what she  might  lose.

she shought  she  knew  Love but now she understands it.

 

panyasan

Why didn't I read this before! This is a wonderful poem, Asso of T'Pols struggle. Well done. I really like the change when T'Pol says she is desparately.... in love.

Asso
Again, thanks to everyone. All of you made me proud and glad.:D
Opal
I really liked how you expressed T'Pol's emotional distress even as she tries to deny her own feelings. Very well done indeed!
Buurman
RE: Awareness Wow, Asso! Very good. You really have a feeling for rhythm, cadence, melody, whatever you want to call it; you know how the metrum of a poem can instill a mood. And not only that, you write a damn nice poem as well :D Well written, and I agree, your mastery of English is definitely improving.
Blacknblue
Your command of English is increasing substantially. I am sorry that I did not see this before now. Nicely crafted. You are getting much better at packing a lot of intensity into a smaller package. Like a photon torpedo. :)
Alelou
This is very sweet. Too bad her awareness didn't translate into something on screen...:(
Asso
Thanks [b]jT[/b], Thanks [b]Linda[/b], Thanks [b]Dinah[/b]! I'm so happy you enjoyed my little piece!:p
Dinah
Wow, ASSO! This is really good. Your poem has a nice cadence, and you really convey how T'Pol feels. She's trying to prepare herself for what she feels is inevitable, she's rationalizing, she's trying to convince herself that her life will go on, but deep down she knows that Trip's death would devastate her. Very, very nice. :D
Linda
This is a nice poem. It has a nice flow to it. Very good at capturing T'Pol's mood and her wonder at her 'unVulcan' feelings.
justTrip'n
Ooo. I do like it. "LOVE! It’s a word! Nothing else! The ephemeral sigh of a challenging walk, through the difficult path of the life. Duty and logic are the true path! The Vulcan path! And I’m Vulcan."

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