Tucker Tenets

By Eian

Rating: PG

Genres: humour romance

Keywords: bond

This story has been read by 564 people.
This story has been read 804 times.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns the sandbox. I’m just taking a shovel to it.
Spoilers: Just about anything in Seasons 3 & 4.
Summary: The fourth story in the Achieving Balance arc, part of the Happy Medium Universe. Sure might help to read the others first.
Rating: PG
Archive: Triaxian Silk; others please ask

NOTE: Italics will represent mental conversation between Mr. Tucker and his bonded mate, T’Pol of Vulcan, unless they appear in the midst of a Tucker Monologue.

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.”

--- King Whitney, Jr.

Ok, two things. One, I absolutely suck at journal writing, speaking, whatever. The ‘Dear Diary’ thing was never my strong suit. You’ll have to cut me some slack ‘cause I’m just gonna ramble. Two, any conversation you and I have right now? Not private. She’s gonna hear it all.

This lack of privacy thing actually isn’t as big a deal as I thought it was going to be.



Hear that? Of course you can’t, but it’s just what I was talking about. That thought? Not mine. It belongs to that luscious, green-blooded gal I’m bonded with.



This exercise is practically schizophrenic.

She’s funny, this one. But you’d absolutely never know it just interacting with her day-to-day. She’s a bigger cut-up than me, if you want my opinion.

That is a preposterous implication. Vulcans do not “cut-up.”

And for the record, I want you to know that humans haven’t cornered the market on denial. Vulcans do that one better than us---any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Don’t let my Vulcan tell you different. That’d just be another example of her absolute mastery of the art.


She’s sighing at me like she doesn’t know I’m right. See, this is where I think Marcus Aurelius was really short-sighted. He said, “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Good ole Marcus said ‘universe,’ but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about the planet Vulcan. This bond stuff puts that idea on a whole other level.

It is highly improbable to expect someone to envision a Vulcan mating bond at a time when nearly all humans thought your planet was flat.

I’m taking a deep breath here because this is one of those times when she knows that’s not what I meant but decides to ‘tweak’ me anyway.

If I’m not mistaken, he wasn’t even referring to anything beyond Earth’s atmosphere, was he?

Something else to remember, for the record. I don’t win many arguments with my Vulcan mate. It’s always a battle of wits. The problem is that I come armed with my hand phaser, and she’s totin’ Malcolm’s phase cannons. Disproportionate, you say? Yeah, well…she’s working with a higher budget than the rest of us.

Now she’s doing that ‘laughing-in-her-head’ thing. How fantastic is that? You are sooooo missing out by not hearing it.

She and Soval have been teaching me about this mating bond. They’re tellin’ me there’s a ton of…well, they call ‘em ‘tenets’… that will help us achieve a balance within it. So they’ve been droppin’ ‘em on me a little at a time. Turns out…I do okay there. Who knew?

‘Course, I have to translate ‘em into something I can easily understand, but that hasn’t been a problem yet. T’Pol’s making the whole thing pretty easy. And I know it’s only because she can now tell when I don’t ‘get it.’ So she sorta ‘dumbs it down’ for me from the jump.

Are you implying that I find you lacking in intelligence?

Not what I said. Not what I meant. I know you don’t think I’m stupid.

Another thing I’d like entered into the record books is that just because we’re in each other’s heads doesn’t mean we’ve stopped havin’ misunderstandin’s. What. Ever. You see, species aside, we’re still fundamentally different people. And we don’t just go dumpster divin’ into each other’s minds to look for the hidden treasure. There’s an innate trust there that prevents us from trespassin’ just to get to the best fishin’ hole.

Are you attempting to discover how many metaphors you can mix and make use of at one time?

You know what? I think it’s time I create some tenets of my own. I think the first one should be “Thou shalt not torture thy human husband with witty Vulcan repartee before thy human husband has opportunity to adequately arm himself.” Just so you folks know… I’m callin’ it a ‘tenet’ ‘cause I’d probably get her to actually laugh out loud if I called it a ‘commandment.’

You okay, darlin’? You’re not chokin’, are ya?


So you know how humans do their livin’, right? We get right out there, stick our thumbs in all kinds of pies, make a mess, clean it up? Shout, cry, laugh, love. We’re out there doing. Loudly. We live. Loudly. Know what I mean? Vulcans are different. To us humans, they seem to be a pretty boring species, all things considered. But that’s just it, though. We don’t consider ‘all things.’ They don’t need to splash around in everyone else’s murky waters. And they don’t need to make any noise. First, they live practically forever---


---what I mean is---they live a really long time, so they’ll probably see everyone else’s swampland anyway, just might be on accident is all. No need to go lookin’. Second, and this is the biggie…they do all their livin’ upstairs. Again, what I mean is…the living room in your house is typically on the main level, right? Along with the kitchen, dining room, etc. So when guests come over, your main living spaces are right up front, out in the open for all to see and trample through. That’s human. A Vulcan’s living spaces, however, are all tucked away upstairs…where you have to be invited in to see.

That analogy, while convoluted, is not entirely inaccurate.

Gee, thanks.

Anyway, if you ever get invited to see those spaces? Man! Jump on that opportunity like a damn trampoline. You sure as hell won’t regret it, and the ride’s kinda the same. You’ll see in a big, fat hurry that Vulcans and humans aren’t so different. T’Pol and I? We’re not just Vulcan and human. We’re not logic and emotion. We’re not her and him. We’re just us. That’s gonna be my second tenet, I think. Sounds like a tenet, right? Yeah. “We’re just us.”

It has merit as a ‘tenet’ and is far superior to your first precept.

You just hush.

This mating bond is good for a lot of things, but the one I find most useful is the access it gives me to T’Pol’s emotions. A common misconception held by non-Vulcans is that they have none. I used to think that way, too. But I came to realize that was a shuttlepod full of crap a couple years ago. She can’t deny havin’ ‘em anymore because I feel ‘em, too.

To deny that which you are already cognizant of would be illogical, ashayam.

Lord! I’m not saying she would deny havin’ ‘em, mind you. Just that she couldn’t if she wanted to. Ya know…it’s a damn shame you folks can’t hear all the commentary from the Peanut Gallery. Sheesh!

So this access to her emotions makes judgin’ her moods a breeze. Like I can tell right now she’d be okay with me talking ‘bout Elizabeth. Some days she’s not, but today is a good day.

I don’t need to tell ya all ‘bout that whole thing. I’m sure you’ve already read ‘bout it in our After-Action Reports, the Captain’s log, the ships’ logs, Malcolm’s security logs, or Phlox’s medical logs. Hell, Porthos probably has a damn log on it.

What you don’t already know is that T’Pol and I are mostly doin’ okay. I hurt. No denyin’ that. T’Pol, too. More’n me, actually. But each day is better than the one before, and we take each day together. We have to. ‘Cause I know sure as I’m sitting in this Jeffries tube that ‘together’ is the only way we’ll get through it.

You still okay?

I am well.


T’Pol and I are basically married. Soval and Phlox are the only ones who know. We’re not sure when we’re gonna tell the Cap’n or anyone else. See, I feel the same way as T’Pol on this. It’s no one else’s business. I want to tell my mom and dad, but that’s ‘bout it.

That big sigh you just heard was me. I’m ambivalent ‘bout tellin’ the Cap’n. Jon and I used to be real good friends. Best friends, you could say. The problem is…we’re not anymore. We’re not even really ‘friends.’ He and I have both changed a lot in the last couple years. The friendship I have with T’Pol has kinda shown me that what Jon and I had was kid stuff. And I’m not talkin’ ‘bout ‘cause T’Pol and I are married, either. We were friends long before we bonded. What we have is a maturity that I don’t think Jon and I could even conceptualize. He and I were like a cops and robbers-cowboys and Indians in the woods-behind the house-kind of thing. That’s what it was like. Hell, I think I’m closer to Malcolm than Jon nowadays. Anyway…I don’t know how that whole thing’s gonna play out.

How long have you felt this way?

Awhile. Can we talk about it later?

Of course.

We haven’t been hidin’ the fact that I spend every night in her quarters, either. It’s bound to be noticed at some point. Thing is, I’m not sure how much I care. It’s not like we’re gonna let ‘em separate us. Soval would help with that, I think. T’Pol and I probably need to talk to him ‘bout it before we go tellin’ the Starfleet-types anything. Including Jon.

Does that work for you?

It does. It is a surprisingly logical idea.

Yeah, who knew?

So understandin’ T’Pol more has helped me to better understand Vulcans, in general. I could probably hold a long conversation with one now without wantin’ to smack ‘em. Because now I get where their coming from. Mostly. Sometimes I’m still lost, but I have my very own, personal, Vulcan Rand McNally. And she’s a beaut. Latest edition and everything.


I’ll explain later.


Most Vulcans think the same way, so if I try to figure out how T’Pol would think of something, I can normally figure out how the conversation should go. Not all of ‘em exist at Vulcan-normal, though. Some in a good way. Like Kov. I really liked that guy. Others don’t play with a full deck, even considering Vulcan decks are fuller than most. Like that goddamn Tolaris cretin.

Cretin? Who am I kidding? Musta got that one from T’Pol. I don’t even know that word.

Definitely schizophrenic.

Shut it, lady.

T’Pol’s mom was a genius.

Are you chokin’ again?

Where was I? Oh, yeah. T’Pol’s mom. She told me that even though Vulcans suppress their emotions, they were still sensitive to ‘em. Then she reminded T’Pol that she’d always struggled with hers. I would’ve liked knowin’ her better. She was---

Whoa! Gotta go, folks. It’s been ten damn long days, and the woman is finally hungry!

Hot damn! Feed me, Seymour! Feed me all night long!


Little Shop of Horrors. Never mind. Just meet me in the mess hall.

Very well.

See, lately with her it’s been all ‘Feed me, Sey-less. Hopefully, that’s history. In fact, that’s gotta be another Tucker Tenet, right there. “Feed me, Seymour! Feed me all night long!”

You have fallen into inanity, ashayam.

Yeah, well. I’m a little tired, I guess.

Are you nearly finished?

I’m thinkin’ so.

Ok. I’m just gonna say this. I’m human. I’ve got my front door wide open. Come on in, and make yourself at home. T’Pol is Vulcan. With her big ‘Keep Out’ and ‘No Trespassing’ signs. She’s gonna keep tryin’ to suppress her emotions. She pretty much has to. But ever since I got that direct communications line to her psyche, I’m okay with that.

‘Sides, I don’t want anyone else to see her ‘upstairs.’ Those living spaces are hers.

And now mine, too.

Keep Out.

Beware of Dog.

Enter At Your Own Risk.

Authorized Personnel Only.

I am sure they ‘get it,’ Adun.

Well…I’m just makin’ sure.

Schizophrenic. Positively schizophrenic.

*sigh* Shut it.



I admit it's pretty out there for me to say anything about punctuation the only thing I am worse at is math. I think my problem was that it came up when Trip mentioned TOLARIS of all people. I find it an odd place to put a joke, but Tolaris is the type of guy that doesn't lend himself to humor no matter how sarcastic it may be. And I appreciate sarcasm it's a dying art. It was just an odd placement for me. Come on Tolaris is the stuff of nightmeres for women and most men. 


Um...I understood the reference perfectly the first time around.  Without special punctuation, and without anyone explaining it to me.  Eian  writes Trip so well it came across from the page, no problem.


Maybe if you had some punctuation to denote his sarcasm, it would help. But hey, I said it was AWSOME, and my go to mood lifter, isn't that a big complinent? (my sarcasm) :p :-)


Maybe if you had some punctuation to denote his sarcasm, it would help. But hey, I said it was AWSOME, and my go to mood lifter, isn't that a big complinent? (my sarcasm) :p :-)


Everyone picks up the "cretin" comment without ever taking my gift for sarcasm into account.  I know the dude knows the word.  He's making fun of himself.  I have him doing that a lot but, for some reason, folks just want to pick this one line out to nit-pick.  Ok, have at it.


Whenever I am feeling lousy: Maybe because the rain is coming, I have to have yet another doctors appointment, the wheelchair is broken, and I'm just cranky. This puts a HUGE smile on my face. I read this one a lot. Thanks for the instant mood lifter. I like that Trip cuts loose in his Diary. I do too, I "talk" like an idiot sometimes, completely not the way I am in real life. I like T'Pol's reaction because yeah he's being really wierd but it helps him decompress. Finally this is just so hysterically funny that you CAN'T not love it. Although if Trip knows the meaning of the word intransiant he knows the word cretin. Just a small nit-pick. Anyway MORE MORE MORE MORE! OK raging fangirl moment has past for now,

AWWWWWWWWWWe. This was soooo cute. Trip having a conversATION WITH HIMSELF but as if with someone else and addding in T'Pol's comments 3rd person via Trip. OK maybe that makes less sense but I grt it. The other stories are pecan pie, this is the whipped cream. I loved it with one exception the part about he and Archer drifting apart. I always liked their interactions and friendship .
Lady Rainbow
Yeah, it definitely sounds kinda schizophrenic! GRIN! Love this line: “Thou shalt not torture thy human husband with witty Vulcan repartee before thy human husband has opportunity to adequately arm himself.” LOL! :p Great story, Eian! ;)
Well! Finally I understood. You have to forgive me, but with the passing of the time, the redundancy of my neurons tends to get deteriorated. :( Begad, [b]Eian[/b]! Really you love new pathways!:p
I meant reasonate in a good way. A couple is a couple for reasons that make sense to them--and really that's all that matters.
I think you're on to something. Trip and T'Pol are building a quiet, very private and personal relationship. It will be interesting to see when and under what conditions they choose to let Archer and Starfleet in on their union. I was sorry to hear Trip say that his relationship with Archer had deteriorated so much. I always enjoyed their friendship. My only complaint - and it's minor: Trip is an educated man. I think he'd know the meaning of cretin. Great job!
You tried something totally different. And I always like when people try something different, fun story too.:)
No, no, [b]Eian![/b] The fact is that REALLY I find difficult to understand. I don't manage to see exactly the HOW and the WHY. This time your writing isn't indeed simple. My comment is neither bad nor good. I merely have to understand.:s
Thanks for the comments---be they good, bad, or indifferent! jT: Was that resonate in a "good" way or resonate in a "bad" way? :p I guess my question is...Does it really [b][i]matter[/i][/b] who he's talking to? For all we know, he was writing part of his memoirs! :D I never envisioned that aspect of the story mattering much. It was more about [b][i]what[/i][/b] he was saying, not who he was saying it to.
Two things resonated with me: the Tucker Tenet: "It's just us." and the "It's nobody else's business. I feel like telling my mom and dad and that's about it."
Sorry.:( This time I find it difficult to understand.:s I will try again.:p
Oops, that last was me, [b]Eian[/b]!
I loved this! Yeah, it's in the guise of a journal entry...but if you think of how this would work in a teleplay, it's that moment when the character breaks away from the action and has a moment with us, the audience. He's going to go back to interacting with the other characters in just a minute, but for now, there's something he wants to tell us... Love this bit: [b] Something else to remember, for the record. I don’t win many arguments with my Vulcan mate. It’s always a battle of wits. The problem is that I come armed with my hand phaser, and she’s totin’ Malcolm’s phase cannons. Disproportionate, you say? Yeah, well…she’s working with a higher budget than the rest of us. [/b] I also really liked how you explored Trip's changing relationships with his other friends, besides the obvious one with T'Pol. It's interesting to have a window into how he feels about growing apart from Archer, but becoming close with Malcolm. Also, who can resist how undeniably crazy Trip is about T'Pol and the way it resonates through the piece. Trip is showing us here how they're so different in so many ways, yet they're a perfect fit. And then it is noteworthy that [b]Eian[/b] has taken yet another risk and done something different, by telling this tale from a first person limited point of view. It's not as easy as it looks, because you really HAVE to be inside your character's head in order to be convincing. I feel that Trip has been channeled here. Great stuff! I can't wait for the next one.
Not sure I get this one Eian, or who Trip's [i]really[/i] talking to.
Superlative. even though I agree with T'Pol. It does sound a little bit schizo. :)
Love the give and take between Trip and T'Pol.
I got the journal entry thing. It's who he's [b]addressing[/b] with his journal entries that I was not sure about. I guess the whole journal thing gets very postmodern when you have a Vulcan bond mate in your head. Plus it's almost as if Trip [i]knows[/i] he has a bunch of interested readers on a web site somewhere...
Alelou... he's making a journal entry... see first paragraph. Although when I read it at Eian's site I thought Eian was saying he sucked at journals.:s
This was a great piece of Dialogue. I loved it and laughed heartily... the only thing missing is the next chapter:p
I'm not sure exactly who Trip thinks he's talking to, but I enjoyed this anyway. It's nice to see a happy Trip. "Feed me Seymour!" Oh boy.

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