Missing Missing Scenes: Convergence

By Cogito

Rating: PG-13

Genres: missing scene

Keywords:

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Summary: After reading Alelou's missing scene for 'Divergence', you may have been wondering what happened next, and why T'Pol was so keen to speak with him the next day ...

Disclaimer: Star Trek: Enterprise and its characters are copyright CBS/Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended by the author of this story, which is solely for the purpose of entertainment and is not for profit.

A/N: Just another little angstidote to be read in conjunction with Alelou's missing scenes. :p

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"Whether I want to be or not, apparently."

His bitter words rang in her ears. Was this what she was dreading - that he no longer cared for her? Why did her subconscious keep torturing her like this? She tightened her grip around her knees and listened to the echoing silence of the whitespace. It had never seemed like a lonely place before, but now it left her feeling ... empty.

"You still here?"

She looked up, startled. He was back, but this time he seemed slightly more comfortable, less defensive. The fact that he was back in uniform may have had something to do with that, she reflected. Was he here to mock her again? It seemed there was no escape from the torment. Instead of being a soothing refuge, her whitespace was becoming just as stressful as the real world.

She put her head back on her knees and looked at him tiredly out of the corner of her eye.

"Why are you here?"

"Thought you might want a cup of tea," he said. Indeed, there in his hand was one of her favourite oversize mugs with a wisp of camomile-scented steam curling from it.

She wasn't thirsty, and it would be doubly illogical to take refreshments within a mental construct, but she recognised a peace offering when she saw it.

She reached up to accept the mug from him, and wrapped her hands around it for warmth. Illogical again, she chided herself, but some habits were hard to break. She took a sip from it, and felt the warmth spreading down her throat.

With his offering delivered, he seemed unsure what to do. He paced back and forth, looking everywhere but at her. After a time he stopped, and seemed to be studying something over her head. Following his eyes she saw he was gazing at the infrared emitter that cast a warm glow over her meditation cushions and seemed, bizarrely, to have followed her into the whitespace. When she looked directly at it it faded into transparency, but as soon as she looked away it became more solid and she could feel its warmth on her shoulders. It was a most peculiar sensation.

She thought back to that evening, a lifetime ago, when he'd installed it for her. It had marked a turning point in her relationship with him, and eventually with the rest of the crew. That simple gesture had invoked a sense of belonging, of being wanted, that had sustained her through some difficult times during her first few months on board. It was one of the reasons she looked forward to meditation so much. Not just that it was comfortable, but it reminded her that somebody cared enough to want to make her comfortable.

"Why is it ...," his voice trailed off. He began again. "Why are we ..."

He seemed lost for words.

"I'm sorry to be the cause of so much pain," she said.

Her words seemed to incense him. 

"You're sorry? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be rejected by the love of your life?"

She looked at him bleakly.

"At that time, I did not," she admitted. "But I would remind you that I had little choice in the matter. In any case, you should bear in mind that now we are apart by your choice, not mine."

"So now this is my fault?"

"I didn't say that," she said defensively.

"YOU left ME," he said, jabbing a finger at her. "You left me, and chose him. How the hell am I supposed to forgive you for that?"

He sounded furious now.

"Why the hell did I let you do it? You were MINE. You were always mine. You'll always be mine. How could I have been so stupid as to let you go? I should have killed that sonovabitch," he roared.

As if the effort had exhausted him, he sank down beside T'Pol and slumped back against the side of her bunk, which appeared behind him just in time to take his weight.

"Stupidest damned thing I ever did," he muttered.

He glanced at her disconsolately.

"I just wish I had the guts to say this to the real you."

His eyes settled on the floor in front of him.

"You left me," he repeated, as if it still bewildered him.

She shuffled back to sit beside him, shivering as she left the warmth of the heater.

"How the hell are we going to fix this, T'Pol?" he asked plaintively.

"I ..." she began, and then realized she had no idea how to answer him.

What did he mean? Was he trying to 'fix' their relationship, or did he just want to end the pain?

Absently he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him, still shaking his head sadly and gazing at the floor.

She rested her head against his chest. After a moment he put his other arm around her and she was perplexed to find herself curled up in his lap. How had she ended up there? There was a sudden coldness as he took one arm away and then she felt something warm wrapped around her. It was the quilted blanket from his quarters, she realised, as his arm tightened around her again.

"God I've missed this, T'Pol," he whispered against her head. After a moment she felt something dripping into her hair. His arms tightened around her and she felt him shaking silently.

She reached an arm behind him and hugged him back. She really needed to talk to Trip about this, she decided. The real Trip.

Something about that thought nagged at her. Was it something that her imaginary Trip had said earlier? She needed to track down the errant thought; she had a sense that it was important.

But first she would rest her eyes. Just for a moment.

Fin


Comments:

Opal

In fact your story is so good I have managed to post my review twice - sorry, this comment system is a bit confusing!!:s

Opal

I love that their connection is so strong; reality is allowed to seep into the white zone - the heat from the cup T'Pol is holding, the warmth from the heater Trip installed in her room.  The interaction between them is very well handled and I like Trip expressing his anger and frustration about their relationship - I too wish that he could have been this open with the real T'Pol! 

 

To me this story stands on its own and is beautifully and thoughtfully written, very well done.

Opal

I love that their connection is so strong; reality is allowed to seep into the white zone - the heat from the cup T'Pol is holding, the warmth from the heater Trip installed in her room.  The interaction between them is very well handled and I like Trip expressing his anger and frustration about their relationship - I too wish that he could have been this open with the real T'Pol! 

 

To me this story stands on its own and is beautifully and thoughtfully written, very well done.

Distracted

Sweet and poignant. Nicely done.

Weeble

Great job Cogito,

 

I can seethe interactions in the white space. The fact that Trip seems to still not understand he is conversing with T'Pol lends a poignancy. I hope he figures it out soon. 

I like think I may steal the "angstidote" line. 

Alelou

Very nice.  I'm not sure how they can have such nice literally warm moments like this in white space and still have much left to resolve in REAL life, but it's very nice. 

I feel honored to have overwhelmed you with so much angst in the missing scenes that you had to write it!  :p

Asso

This lives by himself. It has its own life.
Magnificent.

panyasan

I really like this. First you take the one element that really stood out in the missing scene of Alelou (which is from Trip's POV): the way T'Pol is curled up and you explain how empty she feels and how much she fears/feels rejection from Trip.

Secondly, you add all this little details about the white space.  We see an emitter appear, an emitter that Trip had installed for her, which made her feel welcome, belonging and wanted - nice tie in which Trip's observation in the missing scene of Home that T'Pol likes to feel wanted. We see a bunk Trip takes a seat on, to disappear - it's the white space of your imagination and the blanket that suddenly appears. I love all those details of things appearing and disappearing in white space, like things that are dear to us or a symbol to us appear in a dream.

Thirdly: the way Trip explains himself. I know a lot of people thought that the actions of Trip in Home were noble and I do agree on this on a certain level. But you show a different side: Trip who is blaming himself for not fighting for T'Pol and also blaming T'Pol for "choosing" Koss and leaving - while his heart screams that T'Pol is his. You clearly show in what kind of emotional mess Trip is. I do like your Trip is angry, possesive, hurt by T'Pol, but still crazy about her.

I was somewhat surprised Trip came back with a peace offer and the blanket and the cuddle at the end was unexpected, but nice. When Trip exclaimed he really has missed holding Trip - that what a golden line - like a real male with a great love for a woman would do.

This review has been far too long. LOL. Good story and like I said before, you have potential. Just keep on writing those great stories.

 

justTrip'n

Wow! Good job.

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