Rating: PG-13
Genres: adventure humour missing scene
Keywords:
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This story is number 21 in the series Missing Scenes from Season Two
SPOILERS: "The Breach"
DISCLAIMER: Star Trek belongs to CBS/Paramount. "The Breach" was written by André Bormanis.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I really didn't see any way to insert a Trip and T'Pol scene into this episode ... so I didn't. Technically, it's a Trip and Malcolm scene. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.
Thank you as always, reviewers and beta jT.
Solid rock pushed in on him from all sides and no matter how hard he dug his feet in, he made no progress. "Malcolm, hold up! I'm stuck."
The armory officer shuffled in reverse until his boots met up with Trip's pack. "I know it's a little tight, but I got through fine."
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little larger than you are."
"A little," Malcolm said grudgingly. "I'll tell you one thing. If any of those Denobulans are shaped like Phlox, there's no way they got through here."
"I'm going to grab your ankles. Try to pull me out."
Malcolm strained mightily. Trip felt himself move ahead slightly, only to stop, more tightly wedged in than ever. Now he couldn't even push backwards. The walls of the lava tube pressed down hard and he reminded himself that this would be a very bad time to panic. "Got any butter?" he asked, only half-joking.
"Tuck your shoulders under. And when I count to three, exhale."
"Okay."
Thankfully, it worked. Malcolm was able to pull Trip far enough ahead that he could finally get moving on his own. "Guess I'd better lose some weight before we head back," Trip said.
When the tube finally opened out enough for them to sit up, they took a short break. "Don't eat too much," Malcolm said.
"Ha ha. Can you believe that I thought this sounded like fun?"
"Personally, I'm just glad this is a dry cave."
"And I can't help wondering - even if we do find the Denobulans, how the hell do we get Travis out?"
"We have two strong backs. It's just your basic rescue operation."
"Yeah, but your basic rescue operation takes time. Even if we find these Denobulans before we have to turn around, I'm not sure we can really get out of here before the deadline passes."
"I doubt the Xantharas are going crawl down this hole in the ground just to find us," Malcolm said.
"No, if they're smart, they'll just wait for us to come out." Trip sighed.
"Is someone feeling a little grumpy?" Malcolm sounded annoyingly chipper. "I couldn't help noticing that the captain managed to get our science officer to see one of your god-awful horror movies. He even called it a date. It's been the talk of the ship."
Trip rolled his eyes. "She went all three nights, and only the first time was with the cap'n. Plus, I had to explain to her that he didn't really mean anything by calling it a date. She was pretty much freaking out, in that Vulcan way of hers."
"What makes you so sure it doesn't mean anything? The captain isn't blind. Maybe he's also noticed how attractive she is."
Trip frowned. "First of all, if he really did want to ask her out, he wouldn't. Two, I'm really the one who got the whole thing started. He just jumped in when she got stubborn. Of course, what neither of us realized was that we were creating our own monster in the process. You haven't lived until you've heard a Vulcan dissect a horror movie."
"So it was really you who wanted to ask T'Pol out on a date?"
"No, I did not want to ask her out on a date! I just wanted her to see a horror movie."
"Why?"
Trip packed up the remains of his ration pak. "I dunno." He grinned. "I suppose maybe I was kind of hoping she would jump or scream or something."
Malcolm shook his head. "And how would that help anything?"
"I just like to see what she does. It's entertaining."
Malcolm gave him a knowing look. "I see. You like playing Poke the Vulcan."
Trip scowled. "We'd better get moving."
Malcolm zipped up his pack and shoved it ahead of him down the tube. "I'll grant you, she is very poke-able."
"Actually, no, she isn't. Thus the challenge." Maybe he was getting a little stir-crazy out here in space. That was the only good explanation for the way he kept pushing T'Pol the way he did. Even if he'd sensed a slight opening there - a kind of helpless fascination with him, or perhaps with all Humans - there was no future in it. Vulcans didn't date. Vulcans probably never even kissed. He could still hear the horror in her voice when he'd offered her his harmonica. "I don't see how people who won't even touch their food ever have sex," he said.
"She touched the popcorn the captain offered her."
Yeah, he'd noticed that, too. It had definitely given him a moment's pause. She'd turned down his harmonica, but she'd taken the captain's popcorn? But the next night he'd wangled himself a seat next to her during Bride of Frankenstein, and she'd taken popcorn from him, too. She'd even made a comment about the Monster having a broken heart.
"So maybe there's some hope," Malcolm said.
"I wouldn't count on it," Trip said. "Besides, I bet Vulcans are a really bad lay. They wait seven years, and then they probably ritually disinfect themselves and copulate very efficiently in some sort of clean room, with as little risk of cross-contamination as possible. It's hard to imagine them, you know, enjoying it. And getting down and dirty? Forget about it."
Malcolm snorted. "I see you've thought this through."
"I'm sure every straight man on the ship has," Trip said, though he was also willing to bet that, like him, they usually imagined it quite differently. "The way I see it, there's about as much chance of one of us getting lucky with T'Pol as there is of a fairy godmother coming down and whisking us out of this cave right now."
"I'd settle for that," Malcolm said. "Preferably a really good-looking fairy godmother, though. Who doesn't mind getting down and dirty."
Tucker snickered. "Keep moving, Lieutenant."
"Aye, aye, Commander."
Oh my word this was priceless: Poke The Vulcan! Oh Malcolm, you do make me laugh! What I loved about this scene (as with your other ones but particularly the M/T ones) is that I could completely visualise it happening on screen, right down to Malcolm's inflections and Trip's tongue firmly in his cheek! Great stuff!
I liked Trip-Malcolm friendship conversation and this is no exception. The explanation of the date and popcorn was nice. Trip turning logic, while dreaming on was nice too.
No one is ever tired of hearing THAT. Thanks.
No more caves in Season 2.
This scene and the episode as well both sent me to the same place, panic. When the scene opens and Trip is stuck, I had a flashback to my two MRI's. I thought I would die before they were over :@ My claustrophobia is epic. I was gasping for air by the time Malcolm pulled Trip out. Please don't do that again.
Otherwise I thought this was wonderful. Trip did indeed play 'poke-the-Vulcan ' the first two years. I equate it to a thrill seeker trying to get the ribbon off the cobra's neck. He never knew if he would be bitten :p
I love it when Trip and Malcolm have 'guy' moments, they were few and far between on the show. I know you're tired of hearing it but, another great one!
NOTE FROM ADMINISTRATOR: OK, enouph. If you want to discuss "would Trip and Malcolm talk this way" further, please go set up a "do guys discuss these things among themselvers?" thread.
Feel free to discuss other aspects of Alelou's story. OH GOOD and the Captcha is "policy refed"
Rigil, all of us have seen the same show, but evidently, all of us with our own brain. But this a good thing, isn't it?
WOW Alelou. you wrote a peice where the comments exceded the actual scene. To stir up this much controversy you really impacted your readers.Was Trip out of line in his comments, perhaps a bit but it is Malcolm and he knows it won't go further. Besided T'Pol actually brought up the topic if sex when she asked Trip and Jon if they were suffering from a lack of sexual activity, so its not like the topic and the individual has not been raised = precidents and all. All this aside, if found the cammaradarie between Trip and Malcolm endearing.
You know, sometimes I really wonder if some of you even watched the same show that I watched. You keep getting your panties in a wad over something that fits perfectly within canon (Trip being able to talk to Malcolm about anything), and then focus on your narrow interpretation of how you think one of the characters should have acted instead of how they did act. This is set in the 2150s, not the 1950s. So how about focusing on the story instead of complaining that this isn't Ozzie and Harriet enough for your tastes. How you can say that Trip wouldn't engage in "locker room talk" when there are numerous canonical instances of him doing that very thing eludes my understanding.
Well, saying that he should never get involved with a fellow Officer is hardly Locker Room talk. In Shuttle pod one I thought it was Malcom who did the talking saying that she had an awfuly nice bum. In Rajiin Trip just says he has heard rumors. None of this is Locker Room type of talk that Trip ws doing in this Missing scene.
I am not saying there weren't clowns who bragged (lied) about theeir conquests and gave the gory details. What I have said is that back then a female appreciated a guy who would protect their reputation by keeping his mouth shut.
There was a slogan during WWII "Loose Lips Sinks ships." Well a oose tongue could get a male a bad reputtion among the females and he would not be welcome. Women were very concerned with their Reputation even if it wasn't earned. They all wanted to appear as "Nice Girls" so a tight lipped male had it made.
SB
Well I'm a guy and I thought it sounded perfectly natural. I suspect it's a generational thing... (Rigil Kent's quotation)
Are you saying that I am old, Rigil? Oh my, how this is sad! Do not bleed, my heart, Keep your hair, my heart, given that my head has been incapable of doing that.:s:s;):p
SB--I think that part about "people are talking" was directed at jT, about her recollection of a reference to self-gratification, not your observations about locker room talk.
Though I'm a little worried that we WOMEN all think it's perfectly natural guy talk and the one guy who has weighed in doesn't.
Well I'm a guy and I thought it sounded perfectly natural. I suspect it's a generational thing - nothing Trip or Malcolm said here was out of bounds or even that unusual in this day and age, so presuming that any of the characters are going to act like they're from the 1950s is even more OOC. We've got plenty of canonical evidence showing that Trip will talk to Malcolm about T'Pol - Shuttlepod One, or as hinted in Rajiin, or in season 4 when the Disaster Twins are on that Romulan ship & Tucker complains that he knew better than to get involved with a fellow officer but still did it.
LOL! "You like playing poke the Vulcan" had my ROLLING! :D:D:D
It ws OTHERS who were talking, not Trip. It shouldn't bother him becausehe knew the truth that nothing was going on and that he could not stop the rumors anyway. Since it didn't seem to bother her either.
Re my times. It was not what I said but that I said it. As I noted females ,then. preferred a very discreet male one who would nt shoot his mouth off. Their reputation would be safe with him. That counted for a lot then. If a guy had a reputation of being a blabbermouth he didn't get much action, if any.
SB
Whoops. How embarassing. OK.
Oh yeah...
TUCKER: People are talking. About us. About me coming to your quarters at night. They think there's more going on than neuro-pressure.
T'POL: And that disturbs you.
TUCKER: It shouldn't, I know, but Malcolm and I were purging a clogged injector assembly only last week and he asked me why I didn't just massage it with my magic fingers.
That's from "Rajin," but I don't quite take it as a reference to the 'm-word.' (Funny Malcolm!)
Thanks, all. Though I'm a little worried that we WOMEN all think it's perfectly natural guy talk and the one guy who has weighed in doesn't. (Though, hey, if you made this 'mistake' once or twice yourself, SB, what makes you think Trip wouldn't?)
I really liked this! You see Trip's denial and his desires all at the same time--without it being gross "locker room talk." And I quite disagree wtih SB's assessment of the "lousy lay" line; it's human nature when you see something you want but know you can never have, you try to convince yourself that you're not missing anything, or that it would've been bad for you any way.
(*Is reminded of a line from the Pretenders song, "Human": "You were the best thing I should never have seen.")
It's really hard to pick out a favorite passage from this one, becazuse it's all so good, and naturally-flowing. I keep coming back to the same passage, though, for that reason (the natural flow of the conversaiton), not only because of what it exposes about Trip's innermost thoughts, but also because of Malcolm's reaction to it:
"I wouldn't count on it," Trip said. "Besides, I bet Vulcans are a really bad lay. They wait seven years, and then they probably ritually disinfect themselves and copulate very efficiently in some sort of clean room, with as little risk of cross-contamination as possible. It's hard to imagine them, you know, enjoying it. And getting down and dirty? Forget about it."
Malcolm snorted. "I see you've thought this through."
"I'm sure every straight man on the ship has," Trip said, though he was also willing to bet that, like him, they usually imagined it quite differently. "The way I see it, there's about as much chance of one of us getting lucky with T'Pol as there is of a fairy godmother coming down and whisking us out of this cave right now."
"I'd settle for that," Malcolm said. "Preferably a really good-looking fairy godmother, though. Who doesn't mind getting down and dirty."
Tucker snickered. "Keep moving, Lieutenant."
"Aye, aye, Commander."
Good one, Alelou!
I agree with Aikeweezie and Honeybee. I really liked it. It's different. Fills in the blanks in a way that seems quite plausible. I also agree with Alelou that there is support in canon for this kind of locker room talk between Trip and Malcolm. In this context, was I hallucinating or is there an episode in which Malcolm refers to um . . . the "M" word. He says something to Trip like "Can't you just use your own hands?" while they are talking about T'Pol and neuropressure. Anyone remember this?
Okay, I may be from an entirely different era, I am actually.
IF I worked with a female, liked her, was secretly interested in her. I would NOT talk about her even to my best Buddy. There are somethings a guy (in my era) just didn't do. I got burned a couple times telling what I assumed was a very good friend who I could trust. Nope what I said got back to the female, gussied up a bit. and that was it. I was Dog meat.
A guy, if he were smart, never talked about his sex life, a female he was intersted in. He could joke around and discuss a female who has passed by but in general terms. I learned one thing: Females appreciated a discreet male.
That's how I took it, Alelou. I sensed that Trip is pretending to be more disconnected from T'Pol than he actually is - so he's engaging in the guy talk with Malcolm. And what Trip says is right along the lines with what humans, and him in particular since he doesn't know T'Pol well at this point, would think about Vulcans. Here's this beautiful, sexy woman who Trip likes and sees every day, and he's just telling himself (and Malcolm) that she's not worth thinking about. But of course, we know he's wrong.
"Poke the Vulcan!!!!!!!!" LOL! I could TOTALLY see them having this conversation. What I like about it is that Trip's "locker room talk," as SB puts it, is covering up the fact that he REALLY LIKES HER!
I would somewhat agree with you if this was a locker room, SB. But he's talking to his best friend in a cave, for God's sake. The same friend he happily went cruising with on Risa. The same friend who has already discussed T'Pol's bum with him at a much, much earlier stage of their friendship. Besides, this 'sex talk' is all just defensive speculation from Trip at this point. It's not like he actually has a clue. And I agree, he wouldn't talk about sex with T'Pol if he'd actually had it.
Honeybee perhaps I am superimposing myself here. Trip would say that T'Pol is beautiful and would look great in a Bikini. But he would never say she would be a lousy lay. Or discuss anything of a sexual nature in context with her. That is a No No. blabbermouhs like that get shunned very fast and if Trip talked like that around others it would get bback to t'Pol. I don't believe she would appreciate it at all. There is guy talk and locker room talk. Trip is talking Locker Room here and frankly I think much mre highly of him than that.
SB
Cute. Guys having guy talk.
Alelou, as usual very well written. You never fail to please.
However, for some reason I don't care for Tip all that much in this one. He is a bit cruder than I would think and I really don't believe that he wuld be exchangng "buddy" type talk with Malcom of that nature. Believe he would not expose his thoughts on T'Pol that way. OOC.
did like that you had him sitting next to her and sharing Popcorn with him. That sort of explained why she did it with Archer. That and she seemed to be a little put off by Archer "Date" being spread around the ship. Since Archer and T'Pol wre alone when he said "You will be my Date" he must have bragged that he had dated T'Pol. Pretty sure she would not have said a word.
Did like Malcom in this.
SB