...And the Stockings Were Hung by Garters with Care...

By Aquarius

Rating: PG-13

Genres: challenge fluff humour romance

Keywords: bond T─ÁPau

This story has been read by 1065 people.
This story has been read 1654 times.

DISCLAIMER: Enterprise and its characters are the property of CBS/Paramount.  Please don't sue me for using them to spread a little holiday cheer!

A/N: This is my response for the Holiday Fic Exchange. My giftee is Kotik, and these were the requested requirements:

3 things I want in my story.

3 things that I DON'T want.

PROMPT: Reindeer (It's christmas alright

Merry Christmas, Kotik! I hope this works.



Trip really hated this diplomatic shit, especially when it interfered with the goings-on in his Engine Room.

"Welcome aboard Enterprise, Minister T'Pau," Captain Jonathan Archer greeted with warm formality. "This is Commander Charles Tucker, my Chief Engineer, and you already know Commander T'Pol."

Vulcan's newest and youngest political leader exchanged her people's traditional greeting with the Enterprise crew members as she stepped off the transporter dais. Pausing in front of Trip, she said, "Vulcan owes you a debt of gratitude, Commander, as do I. Your role in averting a war and exposing corruption at the highest levels of our government has undoubtedly saved millions of lives."

Trip's annoyance at not being at his post to continuously supervise the engine upgrades T'Pau's government had recently rewarded them with was temporarily forgotten--not due to the unexpected praise from a high-ranking Vulcan official, but rather he'd caught himself wondering if all Vulcan women had full, pouty lips like T'Pol and T'Pau. Hell, even T'Pol's mom had been kind of hot, in a cougarish if-Mrs. Robinson-had-been-a-Vulcan kind of way. He covered his blush by simply saying, "It's just all in a day's work, ma'am."

Archer beamed proudly at Trip's apparent display of modesty. Turning his attention to T'Pau, he said, "I'll have a crewman take your things to your quarters. In the meantime, I'd like to give you the fifty-cent tour."

Briefly pausing at the idiom, T'Pau said solemnly, "Captain, it is urgent we get under way to meet Ambassador Soval at the summit on Andoria. We are on the verge of cementing a lasting peace between our governments, and it seems we still have much to atone for on behalf of our people."

"And we will, Minister," Archer assured her, "but you have to admit you did kind of spring this early departure on us last-minute. We're still finishing the engine upgrades you gave us, and--"

"I was assured your ship would be ready. Perhaps we should all get out and push?"

Trip's jaw froze in mid-retort as he decided whether T'Pau's remark was an insult...or an attempt at a joke.

Archer interceded before Trip could speak. "With all due respect, Minister, Commander Tucker's crews are working around the clock to get these upgrades finished early, and he'll have us on our way as soon as possible. Isn't that right, Commander?"

"Even if I have to sleigh-jack a fat guy in a red suit and harness his eight tiny reindeer to the hull, Cap'n," Trip answered dryly.

"Reindeer?" T'Pau asked.

T'Pol clarified for her benefit. "On the Terran calendar, many of their cultures' holidays occur during the month of December. Today is the eve of one such holiday celebrated by most denominations of one of their major religions. The reindeer represent a secular aspect this holiday has taken on."

"Yes," added Archer, "so things are going to look a little interesting as we tour the decks with crew quarters."

Again, T'Pau looked to T'Pol for clarification.

"The Captain has allowed the crew to decorate outside their quarters as well as inside," T'Pol explained, barely concealing her distaste, "with lights...and garland."

Archer gestured toward the door. "After you, Minister."

The captain and T'Pau were barely out of the room before Trip spoke into T'Pol's ear. "Scrooge."

"Such decorations in the corridors are hazardous," T'Pol said as she moved to leave,"not to mention aesthetically disharmonious."

Trip stopped her with a mischievous grin. "Hey, I'm a little busy right now, so why don't you stop by my quarters tonight after the Christmas party? Santa Trip's got somethin' in his goody bag for you, dependin' on whether you've been naughty or nice." Their plans for an intimate Christmas dinner for two had been quashed by the need to speed up the engine upgrades, but Trip fully intended to make it up to her later on. Precious time alone together had been in such short supply lately.

T'Pol's head tilted slightly, as it always did whenever she was calculating possibilities and probabilities. She straightened, eyes widening slightly as both brows shot up. Trip knew she'd reached the right conclusion as she wordlessly exited, with the barest hint of a nod.



The party was working up to full swing as Trip looked around the mess hall. Flashing lights reflected off tinsel and garland as jazzy arrangements of Christmas songs played over speakers. Trip was feeling pretty proud of himself as he looked around, having reworked the Engineering schedule in a manner that allowed every member of his crew to attend the party, even if only for a couple of hours. Everyone was eating, drinking, or dancing, though there was a slightly reserved vibe to the air, as though all were keeping themselves reigned in should their VIP passenger drop in.

Trip scanned the room. T'Pol wasn't hard to find. He'd expected to find her standing against a wall in formal Vulcan robes; instead she was in a silky black dress that was modest but stunning nonetheless.

"I see you discovered Bloomingdale's on our last trip to Earth," he observed as he worked his way to her side.

"Indeed," she answered crisply, saying nothing about Trip's attire, but clearly giving his bright Hawaiian print shirt what he'd come to call "the Vulcan stink-eye." "Though it was not nearly as enlightening as Victoria's Secret."

Trip's heart leaped into his throat at that little revelation. He began to imagine what sorts of decidedly un-modest garments could possibly be concealed under that dress. He supposed a sexy elf costume complete with garters would be too much to ask, but sometimes T'Pol had a way of surprising him.

"I researched Mrs. Robinson in the database," T'Pol remarked matter-of-factly.

Fantasy derailed.

Stunned, Trip's mouth worked silently for a moment before he found his voice. "'Scuse me?"

"And I am wondering why you would compare my mother to a predatory jungle felinoid."

Damn, he hated it when she did that! Sometimes their telepathic bond seemed so unfairly one-sided. "Look, it wasn't meant to be disrespectful. In fact, it's kind of a compliment."

T'Pol countered with a dubious eyebrow.

"Really," Trip said in the most convincing voice he could muster. "Look, all I meant was, your mother was beautiful, so when I met her...it was obvious why you're so beautiful."

T'Pol considered for a moment. "Your execution of diplomacy leaves something to be desired," she said coolly, "but your attempt is duly noted."

"Ho, ho, ho!"

Their exchange was interrupted by a red-suited Phlox, complete with white beard.

"Commanders!" Phlox greeted brightly, handing them each something from the bag he was carrying. "Some stuffers for your stockings." Before they could say anything he was off, presumably to spread more holiday cheer.

T'Pol looked quizzically into her hand. "Dental floss?"

Trip's tongue pushed against the inside of his cheek. "He gave me a condom." Resisting the urge to laugh, he said, "Somebody's gotta keep him away from the egg-nog." He tossed the items onto a tray of empty glasses and dirty plates as a server passed by. "So what do you say we get out of here so I can tell you what I really want for Christmas?"

T'Pol's large eyes shimmered with desire, though the rest of her face remained impassive. "It is an attractive proposition, however, I believe it would be bad form to leave before the Captain and Minister T'Pau arrive."

His disappointment wasn't entirely feigned. "Suit yourself." He'd stay because it was the right thing to do, but all day everything just seemed like one more obstacle keeping him from T'Pol. She hadn't even been able to find the time to come to Engineering to help him out.

He tried to distract himself by people-watching. Spotting a couple of familiar faces in the crowd, he grinned. "Looks like Hoshi's on a mission tonight."

T'Pol followed Trip's gaze. Hoshi Sato was wearing a short, red sequined cocktail dress with matching heels. She had the attention of many men in the room, though there appeared to be only one man in particular worthy of hers: Malcolm Reed. As she and Malcolm talked, Hoshi leaned in, periodically flipping her long, luxurious dark hair behind her, drawing attention to her cleavage and bare shoulders.

T'Pol's brow shot up. "It is surprising that Ensign Sato and Lieutenant Reed have not yet mated. Perhaps they require a tutorial?"

Trip let out a burst of laughter after the briefest pause. T'Pol often denied having a sense of humor--and for years he'd actually agreed with her on that point--but the longer he knew her, the more evidence he saw to the contrary.

"Looks like we missed a pretty good joke, Minister."

Trip turned to see Archer and T'Pau stepping up. "I'd re-tell it, Cap'n," Trip responded good-naturedly, "but you had to be there. I hope you're enjoying the party, Minister."

T'Pau looked around curiously. "It is...interesting. I was also able to observe the Hanukkah ritual beforehand."

"Too bad you weren't here yesterday," Trip remarked. "You would've loved Festivus."

Phlox picked that moment to reappear. "Ho, ho, ho!" His eyes were on T'Pau as he reached into his bag.

Trip hurriedly grabbed Phlox's arm and pulled him away, fearing what else was in that bag and hoping to prevent an intergalactic incident. "'Scuse us for just a moment, folks." Turning to Phlox he said, "Hey Doc, I need your help. I get this awful pain when I do this..." Trip shrugged his shoulder and crooked his neck at an unnatural angle.

Before they were completely out of earshot, Phlox could be heard answering, "Then it's my experienced medical opinion that you shouldn't do that, Mr. Tucker..."

"Who was that?" T'Pau asked.

"Santa Claus," T'Pol answered, somewhat wearily.

T'Pau continued to stare after Trip and Phlox. "This is the religious figure for whom this holiday is celebrated?"

Never being one to discuss heavy religious matters, Archer said simply, "It depends on who you ask." He changed the subject with a smile. "Maybe we should get something to eat and mingle. Care to join us, Commander?"

T'Pol spared a brief but longing glance in Trip's direction. What she really wanted was to be on the other side of the room with him.

What she really wanted was to be alone with him in some dark corner somewhere, behind closed doors, coming undone under his smoldering gaze.

"Of course, Captain," she answered instead.

It was going to be a long party.



Trip decided it would be mostly harmless if he convinced Phlox to sit down for some festive pictures. Trip gave his camera to Travis, who was a closeted shutter bug, and various female crew members took advantage of the opportunity to sit on "Santa's" lap for a photo while they told him what they wanted for Christmas.

T'Pol was still stuck playing diplomat with Archer and T'Pau. Every so often, as Trip moved about the room, he would feel a warm caress in the back of his mind. When he turned his head, he'd catch T'Pol looking his way. Trip saw this as a definite advantage to their bond, as it had become T'Pol's way of letting him know she was thinking of him.

He smiled to himself. Even if circumstances forced them apart, they would always be together. Neither Christmas party nor diplomatic mission from hell could ever take that away.

At some point, he found himself sitting with members of his Engineering crew for a couple of hours, sharing stories of family holiday traditions over beers. The table erupted in laughter as Anna Hess relayed a possibly exaggerated tale of a particularly embarrassing debacle involving a turkey and her future mother-in-law. Out of the corner of his eye, Trip caught a glimpse of the captain and T'Pol, without T'Pau. Excusing himself from the table, he headed across the room, hopeful it was time to make his move.

"Having a good time, Trip?" Archer asked as he approached.

"Yeah, great, thanks," Trip answered, the rush of anticipation thinly disguised as enthusiasm. "Where's Minister T'Pau?"

"She decided to turn in early," Archer replied. "We were just about to get some egg-nog. Care to join us?"

Trip exchanged the briefest of glances with T'Pol and caught her almost imperceptible nod. "Sounds great, Cap'n, but I think it's time to put Santa Phlox to bed. He looks like he's had enough for one Christmas."

"Probably a good idea," Archer agreed. "See you in the morning for breakfast?"

"Probably not, Cap'n," Trip answered, unable to keep from catching T'Pol's eye again. "I think I'm gonna sleep in a little, then get straight to work in the Engine Room."

"I understand," Archer said good -naturedly. "See you tomorrow."

"I, too, am fatigued," T'Pol declared with the subtlety of a stun grenade. "Good night, Captain...Commander."

With that, the clandestine lovers scattered, leaving a suspicious but amused captain in their wake.




Trip had somehow ended up wearing Phlox's Santa hat in the process of walking the doctor to his quarters. Who knew Denobulans got drunk off of eggs? No wonder the doctor had such a fondness for egg drop soup!

He'd barely had a chance to brush his teeth before T'Pol entered his quarters unannounced; they'd long ago dispensed with door chimes, favoring speed and stealth over pleasantries in order to keep their affair as quiet as possible. The door had no sooner closed behind her before their mouths came crashing together.

"I thought we'd never get out of there!" Trip said after they broke for air.

"I, too, was beginning to doubt a rendezvous would be possible," T'Pol agreed, already working at the buttons of Trip's shirt, smoothing her hands over his well-defined chest muscles as she pushed the garment away from him.

Playfully dropping the Santa hat onto her head, Trip backed up to sit on the bed, motioning for her to come closer. "C'mon, let's see what you've got for me. Have you been naughty...or nice?"

T'Pol's dress quickly became a dark pool around her ankles as she shrugged out of it, revealing a black corset with red bows, garters connecting to her stockings, and the tiniest red and black panties he'd ever seen. She gazed at him almost bashfully as she awaited his approval. Topped with the Santa hat, she was easily sexier than anything he could imagine.

"Definitely naughty." Awestruck, he pulled her in, bringing them both down onto the bed. "I love it."

"Merry Christmas, Ashayam," T'Pol murmured. "Now stop talking."

Oh, yeah, Trip mused, running his fingers along one of the garters. Best. Christmas. Ever!






Rainy Kate

OMG, realy cool :D:D LOVE Santa Phlox and his condoms :D:D:D Great ;)


Santa Phlox and his condoms... I might be giggling the rest of the day. I'm dying to know what T'Pau may have ended up with.

Lady Rainbow

LOVE this story! :D Poor Trip, but his patience was rewarded in the end. :p

Archer seemed really in character, and I love Santa Phlox! (though dental floss and a condom?! ROTFL!)

"It is surprising that Ensign Sato and Lieutenant Reed have not yet mated. Perhaps they require a tutorial?" BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Poor Malcolm won't know what hit him! 

Thanks, Aquarius. Oh, and PS: Transwarp, your idea about Phlox keeping a flask of egg-drop soup in his desk for a "wee nip" gave me yet another plot bunny! :p




Thanks so much, everyone!  :D

Sylvie--I do hope you'll share the results with the rest of us if you do end up drawing that!  I think a lot of fellas around here will be very, very happy for sure.  ;)


Great story!  Great images!   This is inspiring me to do some more artwork...a pic of T'Pol in her Christmas outfit.   That's probably the only way I'll be able to get the image out of my mind!


This was such a great Christmas Present for us all. My family think I'm crazy because I can't stop giggling. From Santa Phlox to T'Pol in garters and sexy lingerie it was awesome. But I have to ask, what's wrong with dental floss in your stocking? Floss tooothbrush and paste with the  chocolate ( I'm a dentist what do you expect). Archer is hilarious trying to explain without explaining what a Christmas party is all about. Thanks for writing this!!!!!


Aquarius. This is epic. I'm humbled and thankful for such a gift


I kept laughing during this one! The dental floss, Trip's duly noted attempt at diplomacy, and Archer's not-going-there "It depends on who you ask."

Now I think you should write T'Pol in Victoria's Secret. I like the idea of it as educational, and I can hardly imagine the employees!


Thanks, everyone!  Glad you liked it.

Honeybee-yeah, the condom thing...that actuallly came from a couple of experiences.  First, I thought back to when I was a kid, and you know how you get stuff for Christmas like socks or underwear...and you find a toothbrush or something in your stocking, and you're like "OMG--LAME!!"?  There was that, but also my freshman year of college, in the dorms we did Trick-or-Treating for each other at Halloween time, and because college students are often broke but imaginative, when you came back to your room and emptied out your pillow case, amongst the candy you'd find things like a Q-tip, sugar packets grabbed from the dining commons, feminine products, and condoms (probably taken from the bowl in the campus health center's lobby, where anyone can come in and take them for free).  So when decieding how to use Phlox in the story, I wanted to show him as being TOTALLY INTO the experience of a Christmas party and playing Santa, but still being kind of clueless and not quite getting it, so I tried to show that by filling his goody bag with things that ranged from the lame to the really "out there."  ;)  I hope it worked.

Transwarp--Think of that mental image as the gift that keeps on giving.  ;)  Always happy to show my male readers a little love.

Elessar--What do you want, it's a special occasion!  And besides, as far as I can tell, Decon is like the ONLY place she ever wears underwear...unless Vulcan bra strap and panty line technology is also superior to ours!  :p  (If it helps, they weren't very big bows.  ;))

Everyone Else--I'm humbled by your praise.  Wow.  I actually struggled with this one quite a bit...probably because it's a gift for someone so I was putting extra pressure on myself to be "on" (by the way, where the hell is Kotik???) ...so I'm relieved that the reviews are this good and ths good and that you all seemed to enjoy it so much.  Thank you!  :D


Ahhh!!!! I laughed out loud all through this and have a huge smile on my face. PERFECT. Santa Claus handing out dental floss and condoms was hilarious. T'Pol's "I too am fatigued." Trip worming his way out of trouble for the Mrs. Robinson thought. Archer sure was Archer-like. You are wonderful. Thank you for this!!! I'd say we've got some pretty great Christmas stories here at Triaxian Silk. Beautiful job.


This was a great Christmas story. Phlox drunk on egg-nog is out-standing, love a comedic Doctor Phlox.

My favorite line "It is surprising that Ensign Sato and Lieutenant Reed have not yet mated. Perhaps they require a tutorial?"

I always thought T'Pol would have an excellent dry delivery.


I am alway so late in rewiewing that I never get to say anything new, dammit!  What they said - and more.   Loved it!!!


T'Pol's dress quickly became a dark pool around her ankles as she shrugged out of it, revealing a black corset with red bows, garters connecting to her stockings, and the tiniest red and black panties he'd ever seen. She gazed at him almost bashfully as she awaited his approval. Topped with the Santa hat, she was easily sexier than anything he could imagine.

If someone will rebuke me again because my T'Pol is too much Human, I will explode! And I will show to this "Someone" this little piece!

And do not tell me this a parody!



Naughty and nice!  Vulcan stink-eye? :s :p   I enjoyed this as it is but I was looking forward to seeing T'Pau at the party.  Could you just imagine some clueless crewman, half looped and trying to hit on her?

But seriously, a very fun fic!





I'm a minimalist when it comes to lady's undergarments, though ;)  Gimme some satin or some silk, or even some basic cotton black or white, forget the lace, the bows, the garters and I am set :)


:s It wa snice to Phlox enjoy playing Santa Claus.This is  afun story thanks for posting it.:D


I really enjoyed this story Aquarious . Phlox as Santa Claus and T'Pau probably thinks the whole Christmas celebration is illogical.It was nice to see that T'Pol wa sexplaning the reason for the party. Nice to see Trip& T'Polo finally got some alone.;)


A truly wonderful festive story! If there was ever a Christmas party in Enterprise, it would be like that!


Nobody does comedy better than you, Aquarius.  Phlox would make a perfect Santa and the mind bogles at what T'Pau must have thought of a Human Christmas celebration.  I would have loved to hear the thoughts of the cleark that waited on T'Pol at Victoria's Secret. 

This was a thorough joy to read from beginning to end.  Thank you and Happy Holidays!


I don't think I've ever enjoyed a Christmas fic so much -- Santa Phlox is a hoot, the Festivus reference made me giggle, and you did a great job of capturing T'Pol in a playful mood.  I just love lines like, "Your execution of diplomacy leaves something to be desired, ...but your attempt is duly noted." 

(In a completely unrelated note, I would like to say that the captcha code "Harmful Safeguarding" is quite intriguing!)


Oh my.

I am going to have an image of T'Pol in her santa hat, corset and garters in my head for a VERY long time.

You may well have written THE definitive TnT Christmas party story.  It has it all:  Santa Phlox, dental floss, T'Pol in garters, Mrs. Robinson, Pouty-lipped Vulcan Ministers, Hoshi in red (did I mention T'Pol in garters?), romantic liaisons, and amazingly descriptive prose.  Oh, yeah, AND T'Pol in garters and a santa hat.

And who knew that Phlox kept a flask of egg-drop soup in his desk in sick bay for a little nip every now and then?

This one was a joy to read.



"With the subtlety of a stun grenade."  LOL!


Phlox was a perfect Santa - and although I never got a condom for Christmas from Santa, I always got a new toothbrush and dental floss in my stocking. This is really a fun little story. I like to see TnT trying to keep their relationship on the DL - and probably failing a little. But a very sweet, romantic tale. 


This is a fun story! Liked the ending and Phlox as Santa was very funny :)

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